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Discussion Starter #1
So my wife, like all women, does not poop. I am not sure how the female gender was created to magically absorb all of the food they intake into their face holes, but they, and she, don't poop. Science.

She goes into the bathroom from time to time, but in 8 years of living together I have no proof she poops, nor that she will ever poop.

She's European so she also won't even go to the grocery store to get milk in sweat pants - has to change into clothes. Travel on a plane? She's dressed up.

But she goes camping with me (so far only places that have designated bathrooms nearby - obviously to powder her nose) but she does go camping, and hiking, and has her own dirt bike she rides sometimes. So while she has a more formal upbringing/background, she's not a complete princess.

But she still doesn't poop. We have a bidet toilet seat of course because to the European smearing doo-doo with dry paper makes no sense, but since she doesn't poop I'm not sure why we have it.

So I've been talking to her about overnight rafting trips and casually bringing up the fact that on many rivers you're required to bring a groover. She was horrified, asking why we couldn't stop at designated restrooms on the river, etc (bless her heart).

She does pee though. That's ok to know and to discuss. When she has used a porta potty at a festival or something and does so begrudgingly (let's face it those things are nasty) it is to pee.


She is adamant that she doesn't poop and will have no need of one of these things, but since I am always prepared I want to have one on hand, obviously for me.

So here's the long, rambling point: What would be the best groover, meaning the one that offers the least amount of potential embarrassment to a European raised woman who rides dirt bikes and goes camping but doesn't poop? I already plan on getting a stand up privacy screen and discussed how groovers are placed, etc, and squirt bottles and peeing in the river and all of that stuff, but to be successful any hint of embarrassment needs to be mitigated.

I know, I know, everyone poops, tell her to be real, etc, etc. Save it, thanks.

I want her experience on the river to be fun and enjoyable. I'm not going to undo 34 years of life by telling her to get over it.

So which groover system, combined with a privacy tent, offers the best, most stable experience? She's not going to want to look down into a hole and see dookies and I've read about the ramp issue with the Eco-safe. I'm assuming I'll be on permanent groover doodie (ha, intentional) so it has to be as guarded as possible against my ever having any evidence whatsoever that a lady has pooped. Because ladies don't poop, but a bear could use the groover in the middle of the night and make me think that my wife has pooped.

Thoughts?
 

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Go with a Selway. The Eco Safe ramp issue shouldn't be a problem for women folk. And since she has to pee in the river, show her the photo below (or one similar) to ease her mind. Since she "never" poop's and the groover will be hidden she will never know the difference OR you will have proof she poop's when she asks "what the hell?".

Scandanavian descent?
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Go with an Eco Safe. And since she has to pee in the river, show her the photo below (or one similar) to ease her mind. Since she "never" poop's and the groover will be hidden she will never know the difference OR you will have proof she poop's when she asks "what the hell?".

Scandanavian descent?
Thanks and yes she is.

She also doesn't want any evidence at all that I poop, but that's more forgivable than me having to clean up any evidence that she has pooped.

Because she doesn't poop.

On the other hand I'm here at the desk working and she's painting the bathroom and came walking in in flip flops, a thong and absolutely nothing else and asked me to come re-do a drywall screw that is being troublesome and not going in all the way.

So she's not always dressed up like a Victorian. :p
 

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We Viking's are sometimes hard to please. I have loose screw's also, but have no thong clad mistress to point them out. Need a river trip soon.
 

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Whatever system you use, sprinkle crystallized bleach to "flush". It really keeps the odors down and then you can cover the pile with some fresh paper. Not ideal but it worked for me when the kids were first getting used to a groover. Now it's all poop jokes all the time...
 

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Not only can this be a trip-ending health issue, but I'd imagine she would also balk at Groover Duty if she doesn't use it? That's a no-go; if you go on a multi-day with me, you're responsible for camp and Groover Duty (or you better be REALLY GOOD at winning beach games).
 

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I have used the ECO-Tank for years. It is tried and true. I even had one get left on a trailer in the hot sun for two weeks. It needed a good burping and the rocket box welds were holding on for dear life, but it held together. Seems to be the most "normal toilet" for a groover. I really like that I can just add another tank for bigger trips. It is the easiest to clean out in my opinion. The rocket box plus the plastic tank adds durability and redundancy in case of a leak.

I have had issues in the past with the Selway toilets leaking once a dribble and once a large mess (Separate events, two different selway toilets. Not a fluke, I will never carry one on my boat again). The Johnny partner is another good option depending on how many "deposits" you need to make into your poop bank. The big one is big and the half size is a bit small, but it a good system.
 

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Not much can be done but for small sized trips, maybe look at using WAG bags,1 per poo event per person/per bag, add some diluted campa-chem or equivalent in there for good measure for extra odor control and have separate smaller ammo boxes or eco safe plastic containers for you both. SHe can huck her own poo bags in a dumpster when nobody else is around.
 

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River Bank system looks like a toilet, is very stable and seals well...butt (pun intended) you do have to look into the abyss
 

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Eco or Johnny Partner are good systems. As far as getting over the groover thing most people (even European ones) can get over it pretty quickly. Boy scouts are particularly picky but by day three...... Actually the groover is much better than porta johns, that chemical smell turns my stomach every time and when you shut the door it becomes a gross, stinky sauna, shudder. I can set up and take down our groover successfully though will admit to going into hiding at the Scat machine and dry heaving at the Split Mtn take out dump once or twice.

Where they are allowed wag bags might be more acceptable, you could even have individual ones like we have used for carry out on popular mountain routes, that way no one can see the evidence of the non poop.

Yes, European women can do it, if this Brit can do it so can she. I've seen French campground toilets and they are nothing to write home about, our groover is a safer, much less smelly bet any day.
 

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I'd also get her one of those portable bidet/wand things they make for camping if that makes her more comfortable. Essentially a water bottle with a nozzle on it for cleaning up.
 

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Discussion Starter #15
Thanks everyone. All good advice.

She's very adaptable but of course want to do all I can to make her feel comfortable.
 

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Maybe you need to 'sell' it better. For me, doing your morning business while observing a grandiose river canyon is about as much an upgrade on the experience that you can have.
 

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Selway River Bank Toilet all the way. Just did a trip with 24 friends, including a ton of kids. It was their favorite, and everyone was sad when it was full and we switched to the Eco tank. My buddy, as he was scrubbing the seat and ramp in the river before packing up, announced that he's selling his Eco tanks and getting a Selway.
 
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