Norcal brah, being the murse that you are you don't really have to worry about afterwork stuff, so I would choose Sacramento just because of its central location, but don't live in San Fran, nick abrams lives there and has enevatably spread everything alex kilyk has to the masses.
Also I see a peoblem with you moving out west, when you kayak you actually have to paddle, make moves and punch holes; not the best area of expertise of a mankster such as yourself.
#2 area is morgantown, there is so much sick creeking up there and you get to meet some fine yolcals up there as well, only problem moving there is that the skiing is eastcost shit but for your pizza/french frie ass it won't matter.
In the same catagory I would put Knoxville, creeking looks sick there and your imbred ass will fit in perfectly.
And as always the PacNW the number one reason to move there is the kayaking is sick and your close to BC but the drawback is you will enevatably be turned into and EMO and have to sip on your latte while crying that there is no sun wearing your tight jeans and some shirt that is too small and some black rimmed glasses, if you move there you will be forever known as Emo-Joe. But if I moved there I would move to portland, that way you and kilyk could relax and eat 2 lb hamburgers for 8 bucks at the accrotchalus and when you get off that 3am shift you can head in there and get some cornhole and eggs.
o yeah have fun in Texas but don't stay to long becuse only two things come from texas steers and queers.