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Discussion Starter #1
What up brahs? It's been a while and while it's certainly true that the Chunderboy has been keeping a low profile that does not in anyway mean that he, or his hardcore crew, have been on a paddling hiatus. So, while you choads may think you finally got the ole' monkey off your back, yall' better guess again...Chunder is back! Better lock up your sisters and pray to god I don't decide that it's your wife I want to take to bed when me and my crew come to visit your podunk town. That aint no warning, it's a god damn promise-you choads best put all your punani on lockdown, or the Chunderposse will turn that shiat out. That being said, it is with deep regret that I have been forced to let Wayne Chorter go. He was without a doubt the most underqualified and slow witted member of our illustrious grew. His hapless paddling escapades over past seasons earned him the nickname "rookie"- a nickname that we hoped he would one day outgrow. Elmer and Jeter had thier doubts about the guy from the begining-claiming that his pronouciation of the word "bagel" was a sure sign of the some sort of mental retardation. I convinced the boys that we should give this lovable loser a chance, and now I feel the time has come for me to openly admit that I was wrong. I called Chorter in Feb from my posh condo in the world renowned ski village of Zermat (a timeshare I share with none other than Duran Duran frontman Simon Lebon) to inform him that the he would have to have a strong showing in the 2005 creeking season or he would be cut. There is only so long you can hold a guys hand-only so many second chances that should be permitted. The Chunderposse is an exclusive crew and "rookie's" hack paddling style was begining to become somewhat of a liability to the our overall reputation. Truth be told, if the kid's girlfriend hadn't of bought him a brand new Nissan truck, chances are we would have nixed his ass back in 2004. In any case, even that fancy truck couldn't save Chorter from his fate- the kid just lacks the necessary skills to ever become a full fledged member of our crew. Maybe Hobie and those guys want him? Hell, those choads can have him, after all, we all know that the Vail standards for radness and overall badassness (ie. thier acceptance of excommunicted Steamboat paddler Hippie Rob) are far less stringent than those adhered to by the elite Chunderposse. Let me now relate the unfortunate event that led to Chorter's dismissal. I was kicking it with two of the girls from Bannnarama in the VIP room of a Prauge night club when Chorter called to inform me that conditions in Durango were ripe for the taking. Flows were so big that even Gary E and his band of Front Range loonies were afarid to go in. Gary and the boys had recieved a major ass-whoopin' on the class four Escalante a week prior, and I guess they were still nursing thier shattered egos. In any case, the Chunderposse was on its way- once again ready to set the standard for cutting edge class five Colorado hair boating. We borrowed a lear jet from the other guy from Wham and flew staight from Prauge international into the southwestern shiathole that is Durango, Colorado. Chorter met us at the airport, and as we loaded our gear into his truck I detected that he was concerned that conditions had gotten too big. He was trying to convince us that we should all run the Piedra (spanish for old man's piss) while the flows on the classics, like the West Fork of the San Juan, subsided. Jeter stepped forward and bitch slapped Chorter and called him a "little rookie biatch"-needless to say Wayne did not seem up for the challenge that layed ahead. Elmer, never one to be shy about showing his feeelings, came forward and kneed Chorter in the balls. As Chorter dropped to the ground I calmly explained to him that we had had a long flight and were understandably a tad bit irritable, and that his best course of action was to quit being such a little biatch, and to try his best not to scratch any of our brand new AT paddles as he placed them into the vehicle. The next day saw us at the put in for the West Fork of the San Juan. Chorter looked gipped as hell, and kept asking stupid questions the whole hike up- Have you guys eve been here when it's this big? Blah...blah...blah...the kid was sweating like Shady Rich's armpit on a Westwater shuttle and he was blabbering like a foolish idiot. We got to the put in and Chorter tried to pull a Boone, claiming that he had left his sprayskirt at the house. Elmer, having seen Chorter slyly stash the spray skirt the night before in a closet, produced the item much to the dismay of the terrified Durango paddler. "Nice try Chachie, here's your skirt-now be a good little girlie and put it on!" Enraged at Chorter's lack of self-confidence, and his Boone-like evasive techniques, I gave his face a solid whack with the backside of my hand. He fell to the ground and pleaded with us not to make him go through with the mission-but we were not having it. About a mile into the run is when the shiat hit the fan. We came upon a rather benign section of class three, the only visable hazard was a stainer on the river right. Haphazardly Chorter floated right into the stainer- yard saling his boat and some rather pricey camera gear. We chased his crap, but a nasty downstream sieve made sure that the there would be no recovery of gear this time around. Chorter was shaken but otherwise physically ok, financially however, he was not so lucky. He had suffered a loss of approximately three thousand dollars worth of gear. The epsisode was a disgrace to the Chunderposse and sure sign that Chorter was not now, or at any time in the concievable future, ready for the prime time. We left him there in the San Juan national forrest crying like a little biatch and begging for our mercy. Jeter, Elmer, and myself styled the remainder of the run- with no rookie to look after the Chunderposse was running on all cylinders and restored once agin to its elite status. At the take out we parleyed Chorter's losses-taking his new truck, and leaving him to walk his sorry ass home to Durango. What's next for Chorter? We could care less- unlike the Kern brothers we are not a bunch of baby sitters, we are a laid back ski town brah crew whose sole purpose is to get her done and with a brand new Nissan truck at our disposal we will easily be able to access any run we want. The Chunderposse has always known when the time is right for cutting our losses- a true sign of any legitimate playa'. Just as we parted ways with Vin Diesel after his boxoffice flop The Chronicles of Riddick, so too were we forced to say goodbye to the rookie. See the rest of you douche bags on the water...later biatches!!!
 

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hehehe...that's some funny shiat. Chunderboy reminds me of one of those rouge gorillas that the alpha-male ran off from the family and now he's out thumping his chest trying to attrack the ladies away from the alpha-male. Maybe one day he'll succeed and actually get laid. :) Until then we'll just have to listen to his chest-thumping and rattling of the limbs.


tomcat :twisted:
 

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Chunderboy - For Entertainment Purposes Only

"I was kicking it with two of the girls from Bannnarama in the VIP room of a Prauge night club "
"We borrowed a lear jet from the other guy from Wham "

-- I love it!
 

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Best damn post I have read this year. It is great to see when someone can use the term Boone properly. :D
 

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They should use that post in drug education classes! "Kid's, drugs may not kill, but in a few short years could end up posting crap like this!".
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Mr. Coffee -I smell front range trash a brewin'

You listen up and listen up good you Starbucks drinkin' Todd Helton loving piece of Denver garbage- How dare you step to the plate against the Chunderboy, you aint got the skills brah! I'd come down there and shove my AT paddle up your hemorrhiod infested arse, but then again I bet that's just the kind of reaction your overworked pooper is looking for. You are a dimwhit and a pretentious one at that. Stick to playboating and sippin' your double mochas and keep your lame ass pros off of my dope ass posts. Watch your back brah...you never know when your going to find yourself on the recieving end of a Chunderposse ass whoopin'- Remember it's not too easy to sip coffee from a straw, and that's exactly what you'll be doing if we ever see your ass on the river...word to ya' motha biatch!
 

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has anyone ever actually seen chunderdonkey (go donkeys!!) boat? is he "elite"? making fun of the front range (yes the front range is funny) when your location says france (but france is worse) is pretty interesting......not bashin chunder cause he's funny, i'm just curious.
 

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I see London, I see France...

Actually, many people drink coffee from a straw, but you French just use coffee for colonics right? Chunderboy...is that one of those East European fast-food joints?:)
 

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Last time I saw him was a couple years ago on Gore. He was walking his playboat around Tunnel rapid.
-d
 

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The responses after a Chunder-Post are like lemmings off a clifff--you can't help yourselves. You don't get it and you certainly couldn't keep up, so don't even try.


This shiat makes me laugh out loud and reminds me what this web site used to be. A bunch of paddlers* who had had internet access. Now it's a bunch of web surfers* who want to run Browns some day.


-shady

P.S-if you think my pits are bad, ask B-Smith about our field trip to a local paddling shop!
 

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Oh, Yeah! That is some old school MountainFuzz type shiat. Chunder, I've always poured abit on Earth for you cause I thought you was no more. Hallelujah! The CB is back! Praise Jah!
 

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Chunder synonyms

Just a small exerpt from the chunder page. seems fitting.... http://www.geocities.com/mbordt/chunder2.htm

Chunder synonyms
Here they are, all 1592 of them
We seem to find a gold mine (or a carrot mine) about every two years. Following is the August 25, 2003 version. The list now holds 1592 synonyms. We've added or changed 313 in the intervening two years and made several corrections in spelling and overall consistency. Additions and changes are marked in bold. The additions range from the sublime ("a belch too far" reminiscent of the film, A Bridge Too Far; "see sickness") to the ridiculous ("be a translator for the United Nations") with a couple of notables ("free the Tater Tots from their gastric prison" and "undo dinner") come to mind. Some of them are outright ridiculous ("lick the ashtray") or otherwise appropriate.

Many of the additions come from www.vomit.com, which other than wasting a good URL, lists about 398 synonyms of which almost 300 were not included in our 2001 list. At this rate, we should surpass 2000 synonyms by the year 2007!



a belch too far
a chunder from down under (Kiwi Style - New Zealand)
a perfect 10 on the Linda Blair scale
abdominal voorheaves
a-Bordt dinner (thanks to Herb Bordt!)
accident, to have an
acid flavoured stew
aerial bile manoeuvre
after dinner mince
after dinner mints
air entrails
air out the oats
air out your gastric contents
air the diced carrots
airsickness
Alan's psychedelic breakfast
all things re-considered
amino acid attack
anacathartic
analysis past paralysis
animated throat-missiles
anorexate
another one
antemetic
anti-poop
appetize the audience
arf
Arial upchuck
Australian diarrhoea (from the UK only)
baby food
backfire
backwards bungee
backwash
bad cough
bail out
bail the rail (mung overboard!!!)
ballistic breakfast
ballistic dinner
ballistic lunch
barf
barf belly-bombers
barf mulch
barf up a lung
bark
bark at the ants
bark at the floor
bark at the grass
bark at the ground
bark at the moon
bark at your feet
bark like a seal
bark 'n park
bark painting
bark turkey
bark up breakfast
bbrrrraaaaacccccckkkkkk
be a food fountain
be a translator for the United Nations
be let out
be sick
be the mother bird
become a fountain of flavour
beer belch
beet, to
beg God while kneeling at the porcelain altar
belch
belch chasers
belch it out
belches with speed bumps
belvis
bend and send
bhluuuugh
big spit, do the
big wah, the
bile breakfast
bile brunch
bile pile
bile surf
bile-ence (Bile + Violence)
biolence
bit spit
blanch
blarf
blecch (thanks to MAD magazine)
blevis
blow
blow a gasket
blow acid
blow beans
blow beets

just to name a few....

Perry aka Vince Niel
 

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This shiat makes me laugh out loud and reminds me what this web site used to be. A bunch of paddlers* who had had internet access. Now it's a bunch of web surfers* who want to run Browns some day.


-shady


Nice Buddy. I guess you were born with a paddle in your hands running lake creek. Let me guess you are a "native". Get off the internet geek boy.

semi-native
 

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Discussion Starter #16
Macnoodle-a true choad and a sure front ranger

Mr. Macnoodle you need to lighten up brah. You might be the biggest turd that has ever replied to one of my post ,and that my dimwhited friend is saying a lot. How dare you step to my boy Shady-you better check yo self before the Chunderposse gives you a thrashing AT style. Trust me you will not be spewin' any more of your verbal garbage after Jeter and I whack you upside your head with our brand new carbon fiber blades. Being a nerd is one thing, but subjecting the entire paddling community to your nerdom is quite another-Stay off the buzz choad, and oh yeah, I almost forgot- tell your little sister I said wuz up and watch your back douche bag!
 

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"This shiat makes me laugh out loud and reminds me what this web site used to be. A bunch of paddlers* who had had internet access. Now it's a bunch of web surfers* who want to run Browns some day."

I guess that makes me real lame having fun on Deckers as Browns is to big for my swimmin azz.
 

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Re: Macnoodle-a true choad and a sure front ranger

Chunderboy said:
Mr. Macnoodle you need to lighten up brah. You might be the biggest turd that has ever replied to one of my post ,and that my dimwhited friend is saying a lot. How dare you step to my boy Shady-you better check yo self before the Chunderposse gives you a thrashing AT style. Trust me you will not be spewin' any more of your verbal garbage after Jeter and I whack you upside your head with our brand new carbon fiber blades. Being a nerd is one thing, but subjecting the entire paddling community to your nerdom is quite another-Stay off the buzz choad, and oh yeah, I almost forgot- tell your little sister I said wuz up and watch your back douche bag![/quote
Chunderboy said:
Whatever Dude......Watch my back!!! Are you a paddle gang banger or maybe a paddle banger. You seem to have a strange relationship with your paddle. Stop swinging it at people pull it out of your ass and try using it on the river. Get off the computer and I'll get off your mom....Oh Yeah, If you think you got what it takes.....bring it and come strong.
 

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Aaaah the long awaited return of the "CHUNDER POST", you transplant coloradans are just so exictable, so much shit talking and animosity. Just had to put a little fuel on the fire. You guys are doing the right thing though I will give you that. Stay here surfing the e waves and leave the real rivers to the real men......HA HA HA.
PS chunderboy I did come down to the boat' already this year and I owned the hole for the few days I was home,.....let the fury of reposting begin
 

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probably ought to stay out of it,but since wer'e talkin trash:what's with the France bashing double a hole,maybe if you'd ever been anywhere instead of regurgitating Rush Limbaugh you'd have an f'n clue!We'd be alot better off emulating Europes culture than devolving into Missa fuckin' sippi
all you need to know abput chunder bung is he pals around with WHAM,maybe it was him playing George Micheals bagpipe in rest stop shitter
Preemptive strike on your bullshiat reply Chunder 'bring your chunderpussies up to the front range and talk yer' smack then the whole paddling community can hear how you got twisted into pretzels and shoved up yer own asses by a class 4 chachi duckiest,aren't you late to your bondage session with Boy GEORGE AND lIBERACE LATE
 
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