Does anyone know if the Platte is clean at Union Chutes? Is it upriver from the waste treatment plant? I have spring fever and am thinking of going there tomorrow, but I don't really want to swim in poop. Any current knowledge would be much appreciated!
You think it's clean... Highlands Ranch gets to dump it's poop in the river well above Union. Just keep an eye out for floaters once the water does come up. As they come over the first drop, you can just get out of the way and let that shit by.
Everything is relative. Union is a lot cleaner than say Confluence, but compared to most creeks/rivers in the mountains, Union is pretty filthy. I personally don't mind boating there. I've heard all the horror sories of people getting sick for weeks afterwards, but I say those people just have weak immune systems. I have boated there plenty of times and never once felt sick afterwards. When its running the play features are actually really good. So I say go for it. But make sure you check the gage b/c its not worth getting wet unless it is at least 200CFS, but I probably wouldn't even recommend it until minimun 300.
Damn,I always knew that water was potable and all this time I've been carrying a water bottle ,gatorade or beer.
Seriously Union is kind of nasty but too convenient not to go when its running good .The stench that you smell sometimes is from the trash plant across the street and that cement plant next to Quincy aka u-hole aka wedding ring playspot,not the water. Gear is usually good and funky when you get home though.
It is mostly an urban myth about finless browns and Coney Island white fish floating by.People throwin' cigareetes out the window really piss me off ,don't know how i'd react to tampon flingers.
Who wouldn't go paddle any river in Mexico, Chile or even the Nile if you could drive to it.
What do you think the water tretment is is Mexico?
How about Hippo's?
All the Cows,Horses,Deer,Geese,Ducks,Mercury,Bleach..... upstream from anywhere.
Have you ever gotten drunk one night, brought the ugliest girl in the bar home only to wake up the next morning with a headache and your limp dick laying on your stomach??? Yeah, that's right gentleman, you know the night I am talking about...
You walked into the bar and she seemed a little heavy. Even in the low-lighting you could tell immediatley that she was the only one of her friends that wanted to smoke your poll. At first, the subtle rolls of fat you could see squeezing their way out from under her belt line was enough to make you squirm, but in a very strange, putrid and curious way, you were somewhat drawn to her...
You and your friends sit around talking about all the good putananey there is for the taking, but you know, those girls are the hard to get... they're the ones all the other men in the bar have been eyeing like a new power drill in the Walmart check-out aisle and you don't want all that competition.
You've been down on your luck lately... maybe you haven't been laid in a good 5 or 6 months... maybe you haven't even felt a tittie in three, and it's getting to the point where you would fuck anything that had a pulse... or maybe even those without one.
After a few drinks and a shot or two at the bar, your jonesin for just a little nooky nooky. You think to yourself, "It can't be that bad. Every guy has his horror story about hookin up with that fat chick. It won't be that bad, and besides, my dick is so dry I would need a can of geritol to even get it out my zipper."
So, you set your sights on her and you head on over.
"Hi" she says back, quickly looking back down at her drink.
"I was just watching you from across the bar and thought I would come over and catch your name."
From there you continue to get a burn on until you are heading home with the whale of a woman who is ready to swallow you into her many rolls as she screams at you...
"Yeah fat boy, you like my rolls? You like getting lost in mamas love cracks?"
At the time you think, "it's been so long and this is better than nothing," but then... then you wake up the next morning and you see your limp dick on your stomach and you can't tell whether she is facing you in bed or not because her rolls have flattened out across the matress in a way that she looks more like Slimmer or the Blob then the whale you took home the night before.
We have all been there boys. Some of you actually hit that fat chick up at the bar... some of us have just kayaked the Platte through the Metro Area. It's all pretty much the same thing...
Anyone who tells you Union or Confluence is "good" boating or even worth the spit that dried up in one of fatty's rolls during your hot night, is nothing more than a boater stuck in Denver.
If you're jonesin that bad to be in the boat, just get yo ass into the hills or to the bar. Cause hookin' up with the fat chick will be a better use of your time than boating the South Platte.
Just ask Rasdoggy or cecil or the rest of the chumps who told you to go... they probably hit up the fatty's every weekend (or are married to one.)
It's the Chronic-(what)-cles of Narnia gentleman and I am going to blaze one up for all you fos out there who are going hook up with the fat chick at the bar or boat the South Platte this year...
Golden WW park would be a much better option right now. Doesn't smell like a retirement community, and has 5 times the flow (50cfs vs 10). I was there a few weeks ago, had the place to myself, and although it wasn't great, it was wet.
Most of the good rivers in Latin America are actually pretty clean in remote pristine areas with many sping fed beautiful turquoise runs, I have even drank from travertine springs something I havn
t done here for the last 20 years. Anything thru or below a city would be nasty though.
What in the hell do fat chicks have to do with Union?
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