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River jokes!

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#81 ·
Two newlyweds check into the honeymoon suite of a resort in Colorado.
But early every morning the desk clerk sees the groom wade out into the river and stand there and fly fish all day long until well after dark.
On about the fifth day he tells the groom " You know we have a lot of newly weds stay here and we barely ever see them because they are always locked up in the room having sex.
The groom says " well I cant do that because my new wife has gonorrhea"
Desk clerk says " have you tried oral sex"
The groom says " I cant do that either because my wife has Pyorrhea"
Desk clerk says " have you tried anal sex"
The groom says " I cant do that either because my wife has diarrhea"
Desk clerk says " MY GOD, Why would you marry such a woman"
The groom says " well she's got worms too and I do love to fish"
 
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#83 ·
I can't believe this one's not on here yet.

What's the difference between a hockey goalie and A female rafting guide?

The hockey goalie changes their pads after every third period.
 
#86 ·
A rafting dude was sitting in a bar when he spots a very pretty young rafting woman. He advances towards her when the bartender says to him, "Don't waste your time on that one. She's a lesbian."
The blonde goes over to her anyway and says, "So which part of Lesbia are you from?"


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#87 ·
A rafter dude went to buy pizza after a long week on the river and while ordering, the assistant asked him if he wanted his pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.
"Six please" he said, "I could never eat twelve!"


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#88 ·
So when I was a guide, my head boatman walks into the bar, has a few drinks, and asks this beautiful woman at the bar, " how do you like your eggs?" she replies " Unfertilized".
 
#89 ·
Little bo peep, and Buzz Lightyear from "Toy Story" are in Woody's room, and Woody walks in on them, when he says "what the heck is this" she replies, "It's like, you have a friend in me?"
 
#90 ·
What's the difference between a raft guide and a cat fish? One has whiskers and smells funny, other ones just a fish.
What's the difference between a raft guide and a park bench? Park bench can support a family of 3.
Three raft guides are in a car, who's driving? The police officer.
 
#91 ·
Two raft guides are having sex in their tent, when one asks the other, if she could get pregnant by having anal sex and her partner for the night says sure, where do do you think kayaker's come from, then she says that explains it.
 
#92 ·
A cannibal walks into butcher's market.

"What meat do you have for sale today?"

Butcher says, ":Its your lucky day! We have doctor brains for $4.95/lb., Rocket Scientist's brains for $5.95/lb, and we just got in a shipment of RIVER RUNNERS' BRAINS for $19.95/lb!"

Cannibal replies, "Why are river runner brains so much more expensive than doctor's or rocket scientist brains?"

Butcher; "Are you kidding me? Do you have any idea how many river runners it takes to make a pound of brains?"
 
#98 ·
Damn, kinda fun to read thru this thread again!!!

So what's the difference between a raft guide and a picnic bench?
Picnic bench can support a family

Difference between a female raft guide and The Octo-Mom??
I've only ever seen a female raft guide have 73 fingers stuffed inside of her at the same time
 
#99 ·
Know why Smokey the Bear never got married?
If his wife was to hot he'd have to beat her with a shovel and bury her in dirt.

So what qualifies as a river joke??

Know why Princess Diana crossed the road?
She wasn't wearing her seatbelt
haha
 
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sealion
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