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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'd like to take a second to rant.
Mod-men, forgive me if I put this in the wrong forum... it's tricky. It's gear related, but female related, but also just kinda bitching about stuff so maybe it belongs in the eddy.
First, I need to say I AM NOT A FEMINIST in any way, shape, or form... in fact, I'm probably considered sexist in the most unusual manner. I know there are some things I can't do that a man can, I'm totally willing to admit that.... plus most girls are just so mean, but that's a different rant.
Here's my current rant:
Seems to me that all of the female specific spray skirts out there are "easier to stretch," "easier to put on," and have a bungee rand rather than a rubber rand.
I appreciate the shorter tunnel, and all, but really? I guess the fact that I have a vagina equates to the assumption that I can't put a real spray skirt on, or that I have no need for serious gear?
Prime example:
Level Six- Women's Queen Spray Skirt- their website says it's based on the Ace, which is rubber randed, has an implosion bar, and a Kevlar rim... except the Queen doesn't have the implosion bar, it's a bungee rand, it's stretchier and it's lacking the Kevlar.
Same with the J-lo from Immersion Research and the Flirt from Snap Dragon. So there's really only a few women-specific spray skirts out there, but apparently they're all made for pussies.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Haha, a thin barrel to fit a woman's hand! Good stuff. I'm going to have to invest in some of those pen's; these manly barrels at work are absolutely killing my grip (anaconda squeeze)!

The tunnels on the skirts aren't even that long or anything (I usually only have to fold it over about an inch or two, or let it act as a bustier below my bikini), I was really just marveling at the differences in design.

The funniest part of my whole rant is that I actually went ahead and bought the Ace from Level Six... only to discover that I do need help putting it on! It's friggin burly!!!! Funny funny funny. Damn it. Those sexist bastards were right! But I think once I get it a little wet and stretch it out a few times, it'll spread over that big cockpit rather nicely :)

I suppose this is a good time to admit that I like the small shaft on my Seven2 paddle too. It was probably made for women, who can't possibly handle a normal shaft with their frail little hands.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Why is it called fire boating???

Are they trying to extinguish a fire???

Is it emergency status- aka- "where's the fire?"

Is this some sort of game? Is it anything like the bar in town that has mini footballs strung across the urinals... practice your aim, make a goal, and relieve yourself.

This rant has certainly taken an interesting turn!
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
That brings up a good point. I have actually witnessed some of my male friends attempting to piss up through their skirt and out of their kayaks (It didn't work). For that specific male-only application, a shorter tunnel would be advantageous.
Let's hope your friends were paddling boats with drain plugs, avoiding dumping their own urine atop their own heads.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
A friend once told me that when she was training her little boy to pee in the toilet, she'd put either Cheerios or marshmallows in it and they would play "Dunk the Cheerios." I guess some boys just never grow up.
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
Put a target in the urinal of the elementary school my kids went to and a much higher percentage of urine made it to where it belonged... It must be winter on the Buzz...
Dear god! I was just thinking about how much I am over the winter. Ready to get out and stretch that new manly sprayskirt over my big cockpit, take some deep strokes in some freshly melted snow...

My new Burn has been sitting in the living room since Christmas... the tree went away, the boat stayed. Every night before bed I sit in it for a few minutes... then in the morning before work, I do the same...
 

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Discussion Starter · #21 ·
I think Numbers is definitely a bit about my skill level right now... maybe Fractions though. Just makes me nervous boating a new, unfamiliar run in the winter. Not good at rolling, but good at swimming :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #24 ·
We've done a short trip on the Elk. We did the Mad Creek section, considered the lower. Super pretty and fun, very mellow, we definitely plan on doing some more this Spring, like from Hinman bridge down to Mad Creek. Above that, the Box is beautiful but way too much for me! By the time I was ready to take it on this summer, the water was too low to do the middle section. If you're going to make a trip over, consider camping elsewhere. Strawberry Park Hot Springs is cool to visit, and cheap if you want to rent a cabin or whatever, but it's about an hour from there to where you put in for the Elk. You can do free camping, pretty much right on the Elk River, on County Road 64 and 64A. Do Strawberry Park just for the sake of the soak, the cabins there are decent if you want to pay $60. Then you can do the town run and Fish Creek too if you're up for that.

Give us a holler if you do come up!
 

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Discussion Starter · #25 ·
Many decades of kayaking.

...

Hope this gives you some ideas and ends up helping getting that spray skirt on a little bit easier.

Nice rant and interesting thread. Boated with a lot of lady kayakers over the years and this is the first good rant on this topic. Listened to a bunch of complaints over difficulty during the pee process in a tight wet suit. Less when womens dry suits with zippers came along.
Thanks for all that! I didn't really start this thread because I was having difficulty finding a skirt to fit my needs, more just to bitch because I'm offended that gear designers think women can't handle the stronger skirts. Not even particularly offended just questioning their logic.
I'll definitely try your tricks of trade on the new one I got, though!
 

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Discussion Starter · #27 ·
I think most people just get out at Mad Creek. My understanding (don't quote me) is that the whitewater isn't worth the complaints from the land owners (Maribou, I think, those rich mother fuckers) any lower than that. I know it definitely slows down a lot and I don't think there's many rapids. But I haven't done it and it may be something we're interested in doing just for the sake of exploration. We did see a group of yakkers by the highway, which is where it meets the Yampa.
If you're set on doing the hot springs/boating trip my suggestion would be to pair the hot springs with a town run on the Yampa. Then on another night camp by Seedhouse/Hinman to do the Elk. Everything below Hinman bridge (County Rd 64A) is considered a III.
 
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