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Discussion Starter #1
I'd like to take a second to rant.
Mod-men, forgive me if I put this in the wrong forum... it's tricky. It's gear related, but female related, but also just kinda bitching about stuff so maybe it belongs in the eddy.
First, I need to say I AM NOT A FEMINIST in any way, shape, or form... in fact, I'm probably considered sexist in the most unusual manner. I know there are some things I can't do that a man can, I'm totally willing to admit that.... plus most girls are just so mean, but that's a different rant.
Here's my current rant:
Seems to me that all of the female specific spray skirts out there are "easier to stretch," "easier to put on," and have a bungee rand rather than a rubber rand.
I appreciate the shorter tunnel, and all, but really? I guess the fact that I have a vagina equates to the assumption that I can't put a real spray skirt on, or that I have no need for serious gear?
Prime example:
Level Six- Women's Queen Spray Skirt- their website says it's based on the Ace, which is rubber randed, has an implosion bar, and a Kevlar rim... except the Queen doesn't have the implosion bar, it's a bungee rand, it's stretchier and it's lacking the Kevlar.
Same with the J-lo from Immersion Research and the Flirt from Snap Dragon. So there's really only a few women-specific spray skirts out there, but apparently they're all made for pussies.
 

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I cannot relate to your spray skirt dilemma, being that I don't kayak, nor have a vagina...but I do like your style! That was a first class rant in my book and I hope you feel better anyways!
 

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Discussion Starter #3
I do feel a bit lighter in the chest area, so to speak.

Thanks for listening! Sometimes a good rant is all it takes.
 

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I actually had no idea that "women's specific" sprayskirts existed. Weird. Marketing for "women's specific" unisex products is almost always a sexist shit show- have you seen these?
Amazon.com : BIC Cristal For Her Ball Pen, 1.0mm, Black, 16ct (MSLP16-Blk) : Ballpoint Stick Pens : Office Products

Anyway, I really like my bomber gear skirt, it's only ever imploded on me once, and that was in the front of the duo off a 25 fter at low water. If the tunnel thing is a serious issue, just fold it over?
 

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Discussion Starter #5
Haha, a thin barrel to fit a woman's hand! Good stuff. I'm going to have to invest in some of those pen's; these manly barrels at work are absolutely killing my grip (anaconda squeeze)!

The tunnels on the skirts aren't even that long or anything (I usually only have to fold it over about an inch or two, or let it act as a bustier below my bikini), I was really just marveling at the differences in design.

The funniest part of my whole rant is that I actually went ahead and bought the Ace from Level Six... only to discover that I do need help putting it on! It's friggin burly!!!! Funny funny funny. Damn it. Those sexist bastards were right! But I think once I get it a little wet and stretch it out a few times, it'll spread over that big cockpit rather nicely :)

I suppose this is a good time to admit that I like the small shaft on my Seven2 paddle too. It was probably made for women, who can't possibly handle a normal shaft with their frail little hands.
 

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Schutzie loves this rant!
He wants to know about mean women.........

In any case, I think the reason why women's skirts are easier to stretch and use a bungee probably doesn't have much to do with possession of a vagina.

I mean, I don't Kayak (I was after all not raised by wolves) but I've never seen a male use his ....... (insert vulgar term for penis) ......to engage his spray skirt. Not sure it's even possible. Perhaps experiments are called for?

Anyway I think the issue has more to do with the idea that most women don't have the same upper body strength as most men.

Now, me, I can't say that I agree with the idea, cause, you know, the women I ran with in the early 70's rowed the freight right along side the men. They did complain a bit more about the sanitation of the porta pots, and the lack of privacy overall, but as far as upper body strength they seemed to be a pretty hardy lot.

And my lovely wife, who I met on the river, regularly slaps me back into line even when I'm just standing around minding my own business. I can confirm that her upper body strength is at least equal to my own.

Now that I think about it, probably the reason I'm intrigued by the idea that women are "mean" relates to my wife's willingness to whack me one for seemingly no reason what so ever.

You know, just on principal.
 

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That brings up a good point. I have actually witnessed some of my male friends attempting to piss up through their skirt and out of their kayaks (It didn't work). For that specific male-only application, a shorter tunnel would be advantageous.


All brand new skirts should be pretty stiff and hard to put on your boat the first several times. You can stretch it out on your boat when you're not using it if you want.
 

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Discussion Starter #8


Wonder how efficient this little guy is... looks like it would be pretty applicable for your man friends looking for easy "evacuation"
 

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That brings up a good point. I have actually witnessed some of my male friends attempting to piss up through their skirt and out of their kayaks (It didn't work). For that specific male-only application, a shorter tunnel would be advantageous.
Haha. Piss up through their tunnel? Nah, you're sposed to pull your skirt and its called fire boating...
 

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Discussion Starter #10
Why is it called fire boating???

Are they trying to extinguish a fire???

Is it emergency status- aka- "where's the fire?"

Is this some sort of game? Is it anything like the bar in town that has mini footballs strung across the urinals... practice your aim, make a goal, and relieve yourself.

This rant has certainly taken an interesting turn!
 

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Discussion Starter #11
That brings up a good point. I have actually witnessed some of my male friends attempting to piss up through their skirt and out of their kayaks (It didn't work). For that specific male-only application, a shorter tunnel would be advantageous.
Let's hope your friends were paddling boats with drain plugs, avoiding dumping their own urine atop their own heads.
 

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Why is it called fire boating???

Are they trying to extinguish a fire???

Is it emergency status- aka- "where's the fire?"

Is this some sort of game? Is it anything like the bar in town that has mini footballs strung across the urinals... practice your aim, make a goal, and relieve yourself.

This rant has certainly taken an interesting turn!
Oh jeeze... Why did I ever post in this thread? :) I always thought it was called fire boating cuz the stream of piss resembled the stream of water coming from a fire boat. This terminology and the mentality and for that matter the physical ability came from a bunch of teenage kids I was paddling with almost 20 years ago.
 

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our local bar uses ice - it's fun to melt.
 

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Put a target in the urinal of the elementary school my kids went to and a much higher percentage of urine made it to where it belonged... It must be winter on the Buzz...
 

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Discussion Starter #18
A friend once told me that when she was training her little boy to pee in the toilet, she'd put either Cheerios or marshmallows in it and they would play "Dunk the Cheerios." I guess some boys just never grow up.
 

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Discussion Starter #19
Put a target in the urinal of the elementary school my kids went to and a much higher percentage of urine made it to where it belonged... It must be winter on the Buzz...
Dear god! I was just thinking about how much I am over the winter. Ready to get out and stretch that new manly sprayskirt over my big cockpit, take some deep strokes in some freshly melted snow...

My new Burn has been sitting in the living room since Christmas... the tree went away, the boat stayed. Every night before bed I sit in it for a few minutes... then in the morning before work, I do the same...
 

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Dear god! I was just thinking about how much I am over the winter. Ready to get out and stretch that new manly sprayskirt over my big cockpit, take some deep strokes in some freshly melted snow...

My new Burn has been sitting in the living room since Christmas... the tree went away, the boat stayed. Every night before bed I sit in it for a few minutes... then in the morning before work, I do the same...
Awesome! The Numbers and Fractions are running at nice levels. Pick a day in the 40s or better and come paddle.
 
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