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246 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
No more beer after a day on the river.

I promise to 303 my neck gasket after every use.

I will value the life of every human over my paddle.

I will not continue the vain search for a girlfriend who boats as much as I do.

I'll spend more time with my non-paddling friends during runoff.

I will never refer to tourists as "tourons" "gapers" or "sh*thooks again".

No more groover jokes.

I will wash the funk out of my polypro and chacos.

I won't get angry when I'm hitching a shuttle in my paddling gear and the tourists look at me like I'm Ted Bundy.

I won't glance through the Paddler Magazine to look at the pictures for the 1000th time this winter.

No more paddle porn.

I will never use the term "epic feature" again.

Premium Member
3,408 Posts
Funny, thanks for the humor.
Yep, you know its bad when your dog won't even get near your chacos. I must have that Ted Bundy thing going as well. I have had boaters drive right by me, hmm, they must know me.....
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