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Well “The man” has finally cought up with Lotsawater and he is getting deported to a small ocean side village in Ecuador. The reasons are unclear as to why he is getting deported, but I herd it had something to do with money laundering, a donkey, and hit man.. that’s all I know.. the point is that Lotsa is leaving and that makes me sad..
I am not sure if they have running water, let along internet where Lotsa is going so I thought we could take this chance to tell him how much we will miss his antics both on and off the Buzz.
I will start off by sharing one of my favorite stories of Lotsa and his boating skills..
So there we were sitting on top of Tunnel rapid during the gore race in playboats. We all felt pretty good but lotsa must have felt better because he calls out “I am going to swim this one”. I was perplexed, but figured I should go first to help pick up the aftermath. Now I am sitting in the eddy below tunnel wondering just how Lotsa expects to “swim this rapid” when all of the sudden my question is answered! The dude threw his paddle in the middle of a wave wheel while going over Tunnel!!! I mean who does that??
So the beat down that ensued was comical, but the best part is that Lotsa hand rolled out of the dam thing (some may say that he just got lucky, but I would like to believe differently)
Lotsa has touched more lives then Michael Jackson has had sleep overs and I hope that the buzz can give him a good send off to Ecuador by sharing our favorite stories of Lotsa!
Patrick
 

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Wow...say it aint so! Just remember, Lotsa, you can run, but you can't hide. Hasta luego, amigo
P.S. I do know a good lawyer
Scott G
 

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We're rolling into the Big South at a juicy (800ish) flow this year and I'm admiring the wave trains in the flatwater above the rapids when I look over at lotsa. Stern faced he looks at me and does the catholic prayer thing where you touch your forehead, chest and shoulders. Hilarious. So glad that goofy gringo is moving to Ecuador so that we have a local goofy gringo to travel with. He'll be missed.
 

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i remember this one time when I was giving some respect to another boater where it was due, and since i wasnt bowing down and worshipping the fort collins crew (as should be properly done), lotsa came unglued and told me to "take cody's balls out of my mouth". i guess thats the correct response when you show people props.

have fun in ecuador. regardless of how big of a dong bag you are to me, i still wish you the best and wish you a simple and easy move down there!
 

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So this one time we were standing at the top of Double Trouble scouting together. I was like, "fukit, i'm walking." Lotsa says to me, "Keck you're going." I had already made up my mind to walk, so I went back up to the top to get my boat. At the top without changing my mind about walking, somehow I ended up floating in the eddy by myself. Damn it Pete. Crap, I guess I'm going.... It was the first time that I've ever styled that drop at a solid flow. Soooooo good. Thanks buddy.

Oh, I should mention that after landing, I pointed back up at him to scream "your turn!" Lotsa promptly received a solid beating sans boat.... After regrouping on river left, he grabbed his boat and paddle, ferried to the right, portaged back up and stomped that shit. Undoubtedly one of my favorite people to paddle with.
Joe
 

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Shiiit, I aint heard nothing bout the man catching up to lotsa. Sounds to me like you got off easy. Playa you aint done no Hawd time in the LCDC like Jesse and I have. I guess you dont wanna fuck with lotsa when he wants a gyro latenight. Though that sounded like a great story over the weekend, my favorite tale is Fat chics on Westwater. Somethin about the way that man tells the story...he has a genuine hatred of portly females on rivers.

Good luck down thar buddy. I really hope to be seeing you down there at some point. In the meantime I'll help the body take care of your house.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
?

Joe,
while your story is touching I must call a lie a lie.. Lotsa does not scout. Period.

And the second thing Lotsa has never done is "received a solid beating". Any time you have herd or seen him temporarily leaving his river craft of choice it was a choice he made so that he could better enjoy the river environment, and in no was a loss of control resulting in a swim.
Just thought I would clear up some inaccuracies I noticed in your post.
Thanks
Patrick
 

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Big South, May 2008 High Water descent w/ Ben Stookesberry, Jesse Coombs, Leif Force, Lotsa and myself. Snow is still overhead in places and is waist deep on the banks. It's early season and the flow is juicy enough that everybody is portaging in places, including Stookesberry and Coombs.

We're doing a tricky portage around Cool World with all the snow as Leif is setting up to stomp it. Lotsa and Coombs are shouldering side by side when I shit you not Lotsa says, and I quote "National Geographic my ass..." Classico. We'll miss you bro, in the river and on the portage path for sure. No doubt you'll still be lurking on the buzz however with a least a few tricks up your sleeve. One in particular that I am foaming at the mouth with anticipation for.

Ecuador!
 

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he taught me to raft, sold me my first kayak, and took me on my first kayaking trip where I swam multiple times down bridges. He can come across as a dick but he has always been cool on the river. Here's hoping some drunk Ecuadorean you've pissed of doesn't shoot you.
 

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Oh so many lotsaswims memories, its hard to choose just one.

I think one of my favorite memories was detailed Pete's Class Five Lessons within the New Testament but it goes something like this...

Petey and I were up at the Gnarrows late in the season doing some afterwork laps and on the third of fourth lap of lowers he looks at me in the putin eddy and says "if you follow close I''ll show you the lines", i shit you not, as he peels out.

After wating a little I pull out and run the always schaweet boof entrance line only to see Petey about to go upside down in front of the undercut boulder that forms the cave eddy below the entrance. He tries a few rolls attempts to no avail as he is pinned against the undercut and eventually swims through middle lowers while I chase is gear. Priceless...
 

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See Ya

Thanks for getting our Durango crew down the BS this year, it would have taken twice as long without you and the rest of the FC boys. Good Luck down south. Stay away from the Ecuadorian "strip clubs", my experience was great, but I enjoy that kind of thing.
 

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First time I ever met Pete was the put-in at Escalante, where he looked at me with my full face helmet on, and told me "you're not pretty enough to be wearing a face gaurd." I nearly crapped my pants laughing.
Have fun down there....hope to get down there soon for a tour.
 

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Sounds like lotsa's good at getting people to run shit. I was about to walk DT when he rolls up and starts lining up like he's gonna run it with no scout. I was thinking "what a badass, he's just gonna fire it up." When he realized there was no safety below he got out to scout and fired me up to give er. So i ran it expecting him to follow only to find him seal launching in below the drop. Then I realized what a true badass he is because that move was priceless!

I think that was the same day he swam cool world twice in a row. He swam, hiked up to get redemption, and swam again. What a legend!

He was also right about yeti, that guy always has balls in his mouth.
 

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pete remember if any of those crazy south americans give you shit. tell them to dig a hole and light them self on fire brother. thanks for showing the lines on big south!!
 

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Discussion Starter #17
In the interest of bumping this post I will comment on Katos post.
While it may be true that Yeti does constantly have "his balls in his mouth" one must admit that he has the nicest pics on the buzz of waterfalls without kayakers in them.
Keep up the good work Yeti and one day maybe you will capture a kayaker in one of your waterfalls..
Long live LOTSA!!!!
Patrick
 

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Patrick, that's awesome. I happened to just look through all of Yeti's submissions a couple days ago and noticed the same thing. Tons of pics without kayakers. So lame.
 

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Whats up with him getting people to run DT? Pointed up to me from the bottom of it and JJH mistook it as pointing it to him, so JJH ran it. Looked at me again and so I knew I had to run it. Must be something about those baby blues.

P.S. You had better stay away from those Ecuadorian whores cause I don't want no sloppy second thousands when I get down there.
 

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Patrick I couldn't agree with you more so I made an actual post for people wanting to complain out yeti.

See it here,

xxx

Lets not get off topic here people. This post is here to make fun of lotsa not how many balls yeti can have in his mouth at one time.
 
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