Cougers in Camp: Slay 'em or Lay 'em

Ha!

Are they in a wilderness area? Bait em, they're probably rainbow hippies or rock climbers and you don't want no part of that.

What genus are they? If they're blonde, then slay em, they're definitely a danger to your health and pocketbook. All others... use your own judgement.

TonyM said:

... How do you protect your friends from being ambushed? ...

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You don't, let nature take its course. Survival of the fittest!

Best post of the week!

LongmontRafter said:

Best post of the week!

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Agreed!

depends on how many beers deep you are!

they can be quite majestic at a distance. The problem is when they wander into your camp and then again into your tent. probably a good idea to stock some rufulin in your first aid kit in case the alcohol in camp doesn't do an effective job sedating them.

A small caliber round from a short barrel to the head will take them out. Shot placment is crucial.

Sodomize um till snot runs out there nose.

i was going to say "pics please" until the thread took a more misogynistic turn...guess i'll say it anyway, pics please...

but i'd probably suggest you don't sodomize the cougars because ptsd can be a real biatch...

No shit, there I was... Hunkerin' down next to the fire pan. The hair (or lack there of ) stood up on my head... I felt icy eyes penetrating my very being... Then I saw it... A CAMP COUGAR!!! Oh no what should I do? Before I could take heroic action, it attacked. The cougar sprang forward and leaped over me landing on some poor unsuspecting 20 year old raft guide. She growled "come to mama" and he steadfastly replied "OK". The fight was on... And by God we were going to watch it. The young un' put up a good fight by laying on his back and whimpering "rub my tummy mommy". As the beast claimed her territory the rest of us crawled away, knowing that we were her real target. That's our story and we're stickin' to it...

Mmmmm. Cougar's good eatin'.

smauk2 said:

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I'm with smauk & clint on this one...

Staying true to me earlier posts on similar threads.................

Leave em be. Do not harass them or give them reason to get riled up. After all, we're in their house and we should show proper respect. If you must, carry a carbine. 4 for the Cougar and 1 for you if they prove to be particularly determined.

Schutzie said:

Staying true to me earlier posts on similar threads.................

Leave em be. Do not harass them or give them reason to get riled up. After all, we're in their house and we should show proper respect. If you must, carry a carbine. 4 for the Cougar and 1 for you if they prove to be particularly determined.

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I think you may have missed the double entendre that is the basis of this thread.

jmack said:

I think you may have missed the double entendre that is the basis of this thread.

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Um, no, I think you missed the double entendre that was the basis of my response!

Many a night have I been attacked by what the beer told me was a cougar only to find out in the morning it was a coyote..

Be careful, it takes awhile for your arm to grow back.

I had this coworker once, that was going through his 6th divorce. I asked him why 6 (thinking why would get married twice if the first didn't work) but he looked me straight in the eye, believing I was asking him why 6 divorces and said... "My dad once told me; Son, you don't want to be lying on your death bed thinking man, I should have fucked that chic" and so that's why he was going through his 6th divorce. Never did hear why he went beyond one marriage, though...