Mountain Buzz banner

1 - 20 of 33 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
76 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
So word on the street is that a group of wanabe kayakers are headed out to the real coast for some Yough/Gauley time. Well all i have to say is that it had better not be a junk show. I know you guys only get to paddle three monthes out of the year so you had better check your tity whities before heading out this way. I don't want to spend my Gauley season picking up gear that you posers leave after your countless yard sales. Lets try and keep the damage to a minimum this year. Oh, and to that fruit bag Joe Keck, don't even think about bringing a play boat to these rivers cause they are way out of your league. Your best bet is to stay back at the take out and keep my beers cold and have a sandwich waiting. Better yet, you can have that chick your traveling with brush up on her massage techniques couse i will be pretty sore after dropping loops and blunts on all you "creek boaters". See ya in a couple of weeks.

ES
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
689 Posts
ES who?

Who is ES anyway?
Expert Swimmer, Early Swimmer, Eddy Swimmer, Eat Shitter, Eastern Spanker, Eventual Sinker?... Help me out here guys.

-d
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
911 Posts
First off, Booths reply is perfect. Matt is obviously stoked up for get hammered! I love it.

The day you need to take anything beyond a playboat down Upper Gauley is the day you need to start doing the Lower.

That being said, we are stoked for some deep water! I am so pumped up, I couldn't sleep last night. Head'n out tomorrow and will be at the Gauley/Potomac/Yough for about 2 1/2 weeks.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
689 Posts
Good point T, Oh, and once you gather all the gear, feel free to carry it up the hill to the car if you would.
-d
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
17 Posts
Not me

I hope your not talking about me, as I am an expert kayaker. Just check out my extreme instructional video at grabyournuts.com. By the way I'll have my RV at Gauley and a mechanical bull on Saturday night at the venue grounds. Come by for some free swag and a chance to win $500 on the bull.

GRAB YOUR NUTS IT'S GO TIME!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,471 Posts
Oh, it's on like Donkey Kong! We're coming to wreck your entire state. When we leave the summersville dam will be in ruins, friendsville burnt to the ground and we'll get rid of George after wave wheeling the Great Falls on Monday afternoon. I bet you'll be dropping some sic loops and blunts as it hasn't rained on the ridiculous coast in a year. I'm sure hell hole has taught you boys a thing or two as it's the only game in town. We may only have three months of goods, but the Green doesn't even run anymore on your block. I would drop some lines about your ladies in return, but they're not even worth looking at much writing about, so we're bringin our own from CO. In regards to our ladies, you can drop your best lines. Unfortunately, our ladies run the shit, drop the beer bongs, and remain drop dead gorgeous. Thus, they're far out of your sheep huntin', Deliverance watching league. I'm only rocking back east because the Mank Crew has been getting it done so hard for months now and we need a warm sauna (the gauley) to relax our rock hard pecs.

Joe
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,589 Posts
Come closer Edward.....I want to tell you a joke.
What did the five fingers say to the face???????
SSSSSSSLLLLLLAAAP!!
See you at the fest Byatches!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,471 Posts
Sad, those East coast boys get onto the Buzz, start smack and then obviously can't hang. You better polish up, word on the street is that Gary E is coming in hot also. Lock up the women and children, here comes the West side.
Joe
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
76 Posts
Discussion Starter #13
Listen, i'm not trying to be a dickor to sound all high and mighty. I didn't mean to offend anyone by calling them out and i certainly didnt mean to call anyone any bad names. It was poor judgment on my part...and I'M NOT F$#@ING SORRY. Keep talking smack Joe and we will see where it gets you. Im not messin around when i say that i will kick flip all over your ass, and once i figure out what even means, it will be too late for you to come back with a smart ass remark. And as for Gary, i didn't want to bring it up but there is a pretty stout paddler out here in these parts by the name of Jeb Hall who is gunnin for him and my money is on good ole Jeb. So come one come all, you high altitude bitches may beat me in a syrup drinking contest but when it comes to eating Kit-Kats and running the shit i have no problems keepin up. See u front strangers in a week.

ES
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
746 Posts
LOL, ES. Better lend Jeb a boat; Word is, he got stuffed, no more than 4hrs ago on the big east fork. Put him on the swim team!(glad he's ok)

As for Jeb gunnin for me, lol; He's been gunnin for me ever since I took him to cheeseman (01)and he got arrested and worked over by the ********.(sorry I didn't stick around, I had to fire that shit) Imagine some guy named jeb getting thrown out of a ******* area, that ain't natural.

Think he's had plenty of years to gun me down.

Please come and say hello ES, as this high altitude bitch wants to meet you, so you can buy the drinks.

As for kick flips? Joe will grab Jebs midget ass, and use him to pound you into wanting to learn how to huck it. Money on Jeb paddling, that's a safer bet than anything else Jeb would have to offer(well-he's good a shooting rats off the porch). We all know Jebs a stud in a kayak. Funny thing is, I've watched him swim; He's never seen me pull. And yes ES, we paddle the same drops.

All you east coasters are great paddlers though, can't wait to see the boys.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,471 Posts
Ahh yea. Now I'm hearing that NOC is bringin the welcome wagon out for the CO boys. Rumor has it that they are literally bringing one ton of beer in an attempt to keep us sedated and prevent things from getting out of hand. Unfortunately, their gambit looks to backfire and I'm sure it'll produce a paradoxical reaction. My money's on Booth to defeat the mechanical bull. Two days to liftoff!
Joe
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
56 Posts
You boys are lucky the Blumpkin King can't make it this year, unfortunately I'll be "stuck" in the pacific northwest running the little white and the green trusse, but I'll see you CO boys this summer. In the meantime, you kids play nice at Gauley Fest and watch those eddy lines in Lost Paddle...hahaha.

Blumpkin
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,471 Posts
Unreal weekend boys and girls. We caught the room of doom, beat Gary E twice in foosball (look him up on the World Championships of Foosball) and I even managed to carp several rolls and be T-rescued for the first time ever by a lady in with a pink helmet on. I wish she hadn't paddled onto my boat while I was trying to roll. Far and away the most embarasing experience on the river of all time. As Thomas said, if I had swam I might have taken less shit for it! What a party - makes gore look silly. I'll see y'all back on the Range after boofing W's backyard waterfall today.
Joe

P.S. Leland you can pay me my money when I come out for the Green this winter - I told you betting on Gary was a bad idea.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
689 Posts
swamp donkey

Joe,
I think the Colorado boaters unanimously agreed that:
"4 missed rolls" + "1 T-rescue" = 1 swim.

What a party. I was retarted at my 7AM meeting this morning.
-d
 
1 - 20 of 33 Posts
Top