[BastrdSonOfElvis]

At what altitude do the deer turn into elk?

 

[Will Amette]

At what altitude do the deer turn into elk?

You mean reindeer. Because neither deer nor elk actually can fly, so they don't gain altitude.

 

[Domesticated Yeti]

 

[Wallrat]

In Toulomne Meadows in July: How often do they have to repaint the snow? Every year.

 

[VailGeek]

Where do they store the moguls in the summer?

 

[Montet202]

My father was a fly fishing guide for around 40 years. I told him he needed to write a book titled, ‘There is Such Thing as a Stupid Question.’

One of my favorites came when I worked at Teton Village and had a southerner, on the Tram ask is, “Y’all get polar bears down here in the winter?”

Yes, sir. We most certainly do. That’s why we ski armed.

 

[Wallrat]

In Yosemite I got asked where they kept the deer at night. Over by the horse stables, ma’am.

 

[Wallrat]

Again in Yosemite: What time do they turn off the (Yosemite) falls? 10:00, ma’am. There’s a big valve over by the pool…you can go watch them do it.

 

[Nanko]

“Where’s the bridge across?” - was a question a park ranger relative got at Grand Canyon a lot.

 

[Big_B]

Seems legit to me.

 

[GS Dave]

hydrogen works better

 

[Oncorhynchus Clarki]

Saw/heard a lifeguard ask a middle aged lady likely from the Midwest why she was throwing pineapple chunks to the fish at Hanauma bay. She replied something to the effect of "aren't these Hawaiian fish?"

 

[Benjamin W.]

Why are the trees behind us taller than the trees in front of us?

Does the river go in a circle?

Are there really such things as beaver-sharks?

 

[thekernriver]

When rock climbing, especially in Yosemite, I was often asked: "How do you get your ropes up there"? "Skyhooks" was the standard reply, they would say "ahh" as if they were pretending to understand and were embarrassed enough from their ignorance they would rarely ask for elaboration. (Which was too bad, because I had a follow up answer: "the secret, the big climbing secret... lots and lots of WD-40....)

When taking newbies on the river and they ask me, "we are gonna end up we started, right?"
I would say: "You are not driving shuttle. Go sit over there and roll straps. MAKE SURE TO ROLL THEM COUNTER CLOCKWISE!"

Years ago I did take a group down the Toulumne and I was very impressed with one beautiful woman, who had never been rafting, but figured the complex shuttle (where cars were parked in 4 different places and everyone had intermingled gear, basically because she she figured there would be a risk that she would have to wait at Wards Ferry and she wanted to be on the first car out). Took her down the Escalate. Then proposed to her at Blossom Bar. We now have smart kids (who can row the and tow).

 

[thekernriver]

"that's not the bridge I left the car at" On a SFA trip the shuttle driver did not bother to turn form highway 49 to salmon falls road, he just kept going until he saw a bridge, one over the North Fork.

BTW if ever you are at a take out and a paddle crew is viciously beating someone with paddles... you can be sure he F'ed up the shuttle.

 

[Wallrat]

When rock climbing, especially in Yosemite, I was often asked: "How do you get your ropes up there"? "Skyhooks" was the standard reply, they would say "ahh" as if they were pretending to understand and were embarrassed enough from their ignorance they would rarely ask for elaboration. (Which was too bad, because I had a follow up answer: "

Don’t know how I forgot that one…it’s the first thing they ask.

 

[duct tape]

When rock climbing, especially in Yosemite, I was often asked: "How do you get your ropes up there"? "Skyhooks" was the standard reply, they would say "ahh" as if they were pretending to understand and were embarrassed enough from their ignorance they would rarely ask for elaboration. (Which was too bad, because I had a follow up answer: "the secret, the big climbing secret... lots and lots of WD-40....)

When taking newbies on the river and they ask me, "we are gonna end up we started, right?"
I would say: "You are not driving shuttle. Go sit over there and roll straps. MAKE SURE TO ROLL THEM COUNTER CLOCKWISE!"

Years ago I did take a group down the Toulumne and I was very impressed with one beautiful woman, who had never been rafting, but figured the complex shuttle (where cars were parked in 4 different places and everyone had intermingled gear, basically because she she figured there would be a risk that she would have to wait at Wards Ferry and she wanted to be on the first car out). Took her down the Escalate. Then proposed to her at Blossom Bar. We now have smart kids (who can row the and tow).

Just curious, was this proposal during the scout or while making the move to the right above the picket fence? 😀🤓

 

[Randolicous]

I was hitchhiking from Gunnison up to Crested Butte one winter when I worked on the mountain. A family from the south pulled over and picked me up (+1 for them). Nice people, nothing too silly until we got near South CB and the wife looked over to her husband and said "look how short the fences are, how do they keep the animals in?"...as straight as I could muster I said "we train them"...

 

[BastrdSonOfElvis]

Ho Lee crap was there a metric fuckton of y’allin on that mountain on Sunday!