[thecraw]

Well, all in all, one of the best days I have ever had in Gore. Super sunny, great crowd of good buddies, and the highest water for me in there to date...1400 I heard.

I successfully upheld my "Liability" status by swimming after nailing the rock on Tunnel with my head... one guy had two swims Scissors/Tunnel, and then one man held on tight when others would have pulled long before. This video was hilarious to start with, but in the final 10 seconds, things got very f'd up when he didn't surface until about 100 feet beyond Ginger. That biatch had it in for Bruno... He pulls off every trick in the book and was pretty calm for what was a pretty gnarly ride... Good job man!

YouTube - Hole Ride in Gore Rapid...

 

[twitch]

Crawdaddy -
Why you gots to be such a Class IV Boater in such a Class V world?

Liability....so when I boat with you, do I get a waiver I have to sign or anything? (Anyone who was with me for my most recent separation from vessel just shut up - yeah you KID)

BTW - nice calm commentary

 

[RiverWrangler]

I think that guy was talking smack about Leif's mom in the eddy. Apparently, you gotta earn that right.

What is this??? Weenie swim confession hour. Get a grip you two. Swimming does not mean you suck... but confessing to it on the internets without provocation might.

 

[COUNT]

Dude, he almost stuck that McNasty. I know I wouldn't have hung on that long.

 

[Gary E]

god please tell me thats Lutz? I love watching all you front rangers swim.

 

[Livingston]

Good eye Gary.
-d

 

[frontrangefred]

Gary,

You are more then welcome to watch me swim next time, hell all you bitches are, hell I would be impressed if any of you other bitches even put on in the shit I swim.

Frontrange-

 

[blutzski]

Lessons learned:

1. Talking smack about Leif’s mom in the eddy above a drop may be bad river karma – especially when you’ve just been introduced to the guy.

2. If you go for the left-left move at 1400 with the same intensity that you went for it at 1200 a few weeks prior, you’re going to get stuffed.

3. Reviewing video of your botched line at 1400 may make you realize you just got lucky at 1200 a few weeks prior.

4. The first time you look at a hole to assess you’re chances of working you’re way out of it shouldn’t be as you’re getting thrown for a loop in said hole.

5. Kayaking is a poor cardio sport until it comes to beatdowns.

6. The river bottom over the 100 feet downstream of Ginger is very rocky.

7. Surfacing 100 feet downstream of Ginger isn’t the time to wish you would have waited for someone to run the sneak first so you’d at least have a chase boat down stream.

8. Swimming back into the current is the last thing you want to do after going for a hole ride and getting ragdolled along the river bottom, but when Scissors is up next, you don’t get a vote.

9. Hitting the line in Scissors is hard without a boat.

10. No matter how tired and out of breath you are, having Pyrite approaching fast will motive your lazy ass to swim a little harder.

11. The guy driving the railroad truck isn’t fazed by drown-rat kayakers and is fine giving you a ride downstream to chase your gear. He’s just happy to not have to take you to the emergency room like “all the others”.

12. Breakdown paddles with a different offset and shaft bend than your regular paddle are worthless. You might as well just bring hand paddles.

13. Having other “liabilities” in your crew lessens your chances of having to do a bootie beer at the takeout.

14. The Craw should do color commentary for any sport involving hero to zero beatdowns.

15. If Gary E calls after you’ve had your beatdown posted on YouTube, chances are he’s not calling to offer his warmest condolences.

16. Don’t assume you’ve escaped the 2007 year-o-carnage unscathed until the season is actually over.

 

[Gary E]

If I recall Fred, last time we paddled, you bought the ice cream. What else is new?

"hell I would be impressed if any of you other bitches even put on in the shit I swim" If you would stay upright longer than your first paddle stroke, you might realize, we did put on the shit you're swimming. Also everything looks bad when all you see is bubbles Fred. Frickin Guppy! You have to be fighting for the most swims of the year.

The front range is sad this year, what the hell happened? How can you people swim in the source, Bear creek at a trickle (yes 300), CC? Man I'm embarrassed to call myself a front ranger. Pink boats, pink helmets, paddles and gear scattered throughout the state with 303 on them. When you have east coast pukes making fun of you, theres a problem; Especially when you're gonna there to paddle class 4. Sadly, I'm scared to hear the aftermath of Gauley fest; Jesus, theres gonna be gear world wide come December.

Mike Mathers would be a millionaire if he set up shop in Boulder.

People that gape it up in 07- Bruno Lutz(weakest,scaredest, left, left line ever), Josh Parker(I'm sure it was ugly), The craw(again?), Fred Z(1st), Dave Frank(fuck it, i'm swimming), Scott Young(I had to drain my boat), Baird M(wtf happened), Alex +2(the rocks came too fast), Gordo(whats a boof stroke), Forrest(i hit that shit with my head), Dave Simo(wtf), Brook A(on like 6yrs now), Dan H, C Ebel(did you see that hole), Jason R(sneakin it), Jared J(crack whore), I'm sure Rasta, Jonathon S(i lost my roll), Yonder Riv, Joe K(total gaper), T boner, Doublet, Livinston, Deepsouth, Storm11(hope you're doing ok, gaper), Realdad, Jesus, this has got to end? Phillips, Cayo2, Pagel(my ass), I know some of you got away.

WTF? Thinks it's time to step back and tone it down for a while. Thank god winter is here, cause this got way out of hand, way too early.

Your biggest fan
Gary

 

[blutzski]

Gary,
Let's just wait till Forrest and I get up there to Jackson this winter before you assume you're immune from an occasional thrashing.

 

[thecraw]

OMG, I am literally (not just LOL) laughing out loud. I need a good laugh. Thanks!

Bruno, you are hilarious...

Great effort, but that biatch Ginger had another plan for you. Classic.



Sucking Paddler... Craw

 

[El Flaco]

In the immortal words of Tommy Boy:
http://www.geocities.com/jnb373/awesome.wav

http://www.geocities.com/jennpatt/movies/tommyboy/awesome.wav

 

[deepsouthpaddler]

I love the commentary...

Where is he, where is he... WHERE THE F&CK IS HE!!!

Classic.

The funny thing is that I have uttered that exact same line watching a boat sink in hole with no sight of the boater. Scary for a few seconds... I guess its the standard response when your buddy is taking the submarine line.

 

[Gary E]

Easy showtime, easy. Sometimes you watch the show, sometimes you are the show. I just love watching the show. Plus seeing that scared, sad line, makes me smile inside.

I'll wait to be scared this winter until I see you and Noble knockin. Not to mention, you can't go big anymore as your dome is mush, lol. See you in the snow

Gar

 

[tboner]

ILOVE IT!!! BRUNO IS MY NEW HERO...

Craw- was that helmet footage??

 

[COLDFEAR]

Marty where is that classic footage of you yelling at Ed running the death log jam line in Clear Creek.

Out of nowhere comes ed .....
"What the Fuck is he doing, Oh Shit this is not good" "Oh fuck this is bad"

Luckily Frenchy came to the rescue!

Too Funny (at least now)

Aaron

 

[thecraw]

Yeah man... that thing is awesome! Thanks for turning me onto it. I use it dirt biking all the time, and it works great kayaking too. The vid is way better than I thought. Much better prior to loading onto youtube.

For anyone else interested, the thing is 120.00 fully waterproof, and is self contained (no wires, or whatnot). Sits on the side of any helmet or handlebars and obviously has pretty good footage for the cost.

Oregon Scientific is the company name.

 

[frontrangefred]

Gary,

Since you are not going to BC with us this next week, I guess I too will have to call you out on the snow this winter. Heel up well, I can wait to get that smile on the inside watching you.

Frontrange-

P.S. Love the line "Sometimes you watch the show, sometimes you are the show."

 

[Gary E]

Oh shit, chalk 3 more up for Fred! Come on up this winter, not too worried about firing the snow with you. It's the 40+ footers I hate.
Gar

"sometimes you watch the show, sometimes you are the show" This statement has been trade marked by ricky bobby inc. Any use of this statement without the written permission from someone who is not a puss, is strickly prohibited.

 

[lotsawater]

"Talking smack about Leif’s mom in the eddy above a drop may be bad river karma – especially when you’ve just been introduced to the guy."

A couple of days ago.....
Hearing Life tell a story via email pretty funny.

Hearing Life tell a story about someone swimming Gore. Getting funnier

Today......
Hearing Life tell a story about somebody talking shit about his Mom, getting handed, and then seeing it on the buzz, in a completely different setting.
FUCKING PRICELESS!!!!

You can see Life in the "Wanker Cam" in the eddy above the drop. Laughing as I'm typing.

Leifs mom is a special girl, not to be made a joke of fellas. Plus if you have any questions about my lady you can ask me directly, and no she is not currently available. She came down with pnemonia when she jumped into the river at the Narrows race to save me. Luckily there were some skilled rafters there to fish her out, as I was determined to beat the balding but fast J.J. Hairpiece, and was not able to stop and perform the rescue. Plus I think she's pregnant, Life's going to have a baby brother...awkward.