Ole Crispy is for sale - Mountain Buzz

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Old 05-19-2017   #1
SpeyCatr's Avatar
Coquitlam, BC, Canada
Paddling Since: 2013
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 446
Ole Crispy is for sale


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15' AIRE Wave Destroyer - MadCatr Frame - Sawyer MXS oars w/Duramax blades
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Old 05-19-2017   #2
Denver, Colorado
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 304
Not anymore, some weeble wobble passed the background check and took her home!
Someone will enjoy it with that sales pitch!
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Old 05-19-2017   #3
Andy H.'s Avatar
Wheat Ridge, Colorado
Paddling Since: 1995
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 3,635
For our posteriors' sake, here's the sales pitch. Would hate to see this fine prose disappear into the ether when the ad gets taken down.

Aire 156 R For Sale...The legendary "Ol Crispy" 156R that has seen more action than my wife on prom night (maybe not) is again on the market for sale.

She started out life just like any other boat, She had hopes, she had dreams, but alas her dreams where crushed after she was sold into servitude to be used as a commercially guided boat down the infamous Payette River. She provided years and years of commercial service only be sold again when she was deemed to unsightly to be used commercially anymore.

She was put on the market again a few years back where I saved her from a fate worse than death, a place the devil himself thought up for an ole rubber work hoarse like her...a bone dry storage garage in Twin Falls, When I saw her pitiful and airless body, she spoke to me, she longed for my caress, she yearned to be wet again and she wept sweet tears of joy when I brought her back to her ancestral homeland, the river of her youth, the river she had tamed, the river she bent to her will, the mighty Payette River.
Today she is alive, as alive as she was years ago, today she is mighty in heart as well as performance. She leaks nary a drop of air nor has she any patches on here supple goddess like skin.
Is she old? Yes!
Is she crispy? Yes, for SHE IS OLE CRISPY!

Is She Sea worthy you ask? She is more sea worthy than mere mortals can handle. The Norse god Njord appears to have personally blessed this stout and sturdy craft, for SHE IS OLE CRISPY!

Could a nautically challenged crew paddle her?
Yes, she is unlike any other raft on the market today. She easily performs like a dream on class 3 rivers where newer less experienced boats fail and handles serious class 4 rivers where other boats simply can not, will not and must not go. She has never failed to perform as designed by the ancients for SHE IS OLE CRISPY!

What if I want put a frame on her?
Good, I'm glad you asked. Her hearty rowing frame is included, its yellow seat is included, and its oar towers stand at the ready, ready for your oars, ready for your locks, for SHE IS OLE CRISPY!

I only wish she could speak, to tell her stories of the past and to prophesize on the future, for SHE IS OLE CRISPY!

First SOLD cash takes her for SHE IS OLE CRISPY.

Includes boat, frame, seat, towers and thwarts

Bombproof Raft, better than your boat, better than you, better than me...for SHE IS OLE CRISPY!

FBI background check prior to purchasing to insure a good home.

Sorry, a rather large round weeble wobble purchased ole crispy, he passed the background check swore on a stack to love and protect her as long as they both shall live, which based on his ever expanding waistline won't be long...so when the family settles his estate you should see it here again...

Goodbye ole crispy, we miss you already....
Nothing in the world is more yielding and gentle than water. Yet it has no equal for conquering the resistant and tough. The flexible can overcome the unbending; the soft can overcome the hard. - Lao Tse
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Old 05-19-2017   #4
Nye, Montana
Paddling Since: 2012
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 275
I read that ad today. Awesome! Wanted to buy just for his sales pitch.
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Old 05-19-2017   #5
cataraftgirl's Avatar
Sandy, Utah
Paddling Since: 1997
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 3,344
Roll on Ole Crispy!
"We are all visitors to this time, this place. We are just passing through. Our purpose here is to observe, to learn, to grow, to love....and then we return home."
Australian Aboriginal Proverb
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Old 05-19-2017   #6
InflatableSteve's Avatar
Cave Creek, Arizona
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 688
Best one I have seen this year.

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