New Jokes - Mountain Buzz
 



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Old 03-06-2015   #1
 
The Mogur's Avatar
 
Oregon City, Oregon
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New Jokes

I was walking across the Willamette River bridge this morning, and I heard splashing and shouting, so I looked over the railing. In the water below I saw a man wearing an explosive suicide vest, carrying an AK-47 and a brace of hand grenades, all contributing to his difficulty treading water. I recognized him as a wanted terrorist, but nobody wants to see someone drown. So I notified the sheriff's office, the police department and the coast guard. The terrorist went under and didn't back come up. That was four hours ago. I'm beginning to think I wasted my stamps.

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Old 03-06-2015   #2
 
Steamboat, Colorado
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I don't get it?
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It's a good day to be a duck....
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Old 03-06-2015   #3
 
cedar city, Utah
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...to the Eddy?
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Old 03-06-2015   #4
 
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Seattle, Washington
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well, ya'd prolly not mail a request for help, were you trying to save someone ...

A canoeist, a kayaker, and an old salt sailor went into a bar and ordered a beer. Each found a fly in their beer.

The canoeist looked in his beer and said, "hey bartender I have a fly in my beer. Give me another beer."

The kayaker looked in his beer, found the fly, reached in an picked it out and continued drinking.

The old salt sailor looked in his beer, saw the fly, grabbed it by the wings, shook it over the glass and yelled, "Spit it out, Spit it out!"
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Old 03-06-2015   #5
 
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Hampden, Massachusetts
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When is a door not a door? when it's a jar!


What do groovers and female raft guides have in common?? If the hole is still warm then you know your buddy was just there....


Why can't you trust a tree? Cause they're shady, man.
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Old 03-06-2015   #6
 
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glenwierd, Co.
Paddling Since: 05'
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Q. What's the difference between a female guide and a washing machine?
A. You can dump your load in a washing machine and it won't follow you around for the rest of the season.

Nonsense, I have not yet begun to defile myself
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Old 03-07-2015   #7
 
Bismarck, North Dakota
Paddling Since: 2012
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WOW! I got my ass chewed pretty good over joking about kayakers. A couple of these jokes would be pretty offensive if I had a vagina. Apparently some people favor kayakers over women'z. I how ever find this shit funny as he'll. When it comes to comedy no one is off limits, except kayakers.
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Old 03-07-2015   #8
 
aurora, Colorado
Join Date: Mar 2006
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What do you get when you cross a donkey and an onion?

Most of the time you get an onion with big ears, but every once in a while you get a piece of a$$ that brings tears to your eyes.
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Old 03-07-2015   #9
 
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glenwierd, Co.
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What's the difference between god and a kayaker?
God doesn't think he's a kayaker

Nonsense, I have not yet begun to defile myself
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Old 03-07-2015   #10
 
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glenwierd, Co.
Paddling Since: 05'
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What's the difference between a female guide and a hockey player.
Hockey player takes a shower after 3 periods.

Nonsense, I have not yet begun to defile myself
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