Trip planning beta - Mountain Buzz
 



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Old 4 Weeks Ago   #1
in dry dock
 
Glenwoody, Colorado
Paddling Since: 2000
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 136
Trip planning beta

I want to get out of my sterile little climate controlled cube but need some beta, thanks in advance for all your help!



If I go outside will there be bugs? If so how bad will they be? Do I need bug-spray or will my Mickey-Mouse bug-guard wrist band be enough? Exactly what kind of bugs will I encounter?



If I take my boat down that well known whitewater section will I get wet? I want to go on the whitewater but I am made of sugar and I might melt. What splash gear will keep my candy ass safe and dry? What if it rains?



Will there be weather? I don't like it if temp gets above 77* or below 73*, can you suggest a river section with this weather all day long? Should I bring a coat? Will I need a so-wrong?


On my permit it says I need some basic equipment but if I don't have that stuff will they let me go anyway? If I bring a coffee can with a lid will that meet the requirements for a groover? I don't actually plan to use it, but its ok because I defecate roses and the BLM will come clean my campsite after we check out like maid service right? If I am not in a forested area do I need to make sure my fire is extinguished? If it doesn't happen in the forest it's not a forest fire right?



Is my boat the right color for this river section? I heard that blue boats were best for this section but my boat is red, do I need to buy a new boat? Also I heard that the birds wouldn't mate if my straps didn't match, does the BLM require matching rigging?



Sorry for so many questions, they have probably all been answered 20 times but I was too lazy to use the search function. Please keep your sarcastic comments to yourself.


Nevermind, the variables are too great, I am going to say screw it and stay in my box, do you think that the BLM will refund my permit fee for tomorrow? They are such hard asses, it's like other people wanted to go but couldn't because I pulled a permit I had no intention of using.

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Old 4 Weeks Ago   #2
in dry dock
 
Glenwoody, Colorado
Paddling Since: 2000
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 136
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Old 4 Weeks Ago   #3
 
Fraser, Colorado
Paddling Since: 2001
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 267
That’s fucking awesome!!
In the immortal words of Mr. Garrison “ There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.”
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The river probably thought, “ he is such an insignificant, pitiful, little creature, with such a short time to live, I will let him go this time, and try to teach him something” - Buzz Holmstrum
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Old 3 Weeks Ago   #4
 
Eagle, Colorado
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 41
You forgot......

How long will the ice stay in my cooler if I expect to get in it for beer every five minutes..... will it last for the five days of my trip.

But yes AWESOME!
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Old 3 Weeks Ago   #5
Never enough free time
 
Red Lodge, Montana
Paddling Since: 1998
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 267
You forgot my favorite: "Where we we see the xxx?" Insert bear, eagle, otter, moose, etc.
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Old 3 Weeks Ago   #6
 
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Buena Vista, Colorado
Paddling Since: 2005
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 4,766
Thanks noahfecks, that was the best post of the season.
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Old 3 Weeks Ago   #7
 
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Fort Fun, Colorado
Paddling Since: 94
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 201
This!!


I was seeing posts about the Canyon on another forum and I swear these were some of the questions.
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Old 3 Weeks Ago   #8
 
thornton, Colorado
Paddling Since: 1969
Join Date: Aug 2008
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Everyday is a gift, go get some!!!
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Old 3 Weeks Ago   #9
 
East Glacier, Montana
Paddling Since: 2007
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 4
"When we are done will we be back to where we started"
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Old 3 Weeks Ago   #10
in dry dock
 
Glenwoody, Colorado
Paddling Since: 2000
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 136
Quote:
Originally Posted by mtzirkel View Post
"When we are done will we be back to where we started"

Yes! it's just like the log ride at Disney


At what elevation do the deer turn into elk?
How deep is the water right here?
What time will we get to camp?
What do y'all do with them mo-gulls in the summertime?
Do Y'all ride yer ski board in the stunt ditch?
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