Rant rant rant - Mountain Buzz
 



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Old 01-13-2015   #1
 
Steamboat, Colorado
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Rant rant rant

I'd like to take a second to rant.
Mod-men, forgive me if I put this in the wrong forum... it's tricky. It's gear related, but female related, but also just kinda bitching about stuff so maybe it belongs in the eddy.
First, I need to say I AM NOT A FEMINIST in any way, shape, or form... in fact, I'm probably considered sexist in the most unusual manner. I know there are some things I can't do that a man can, I'm totally willing to admit that.... plus most girls are just so mean, but that's a different rant.
Here's my current rant:
Seems to me that all of the female specific spray skirts out there are "easier to stretch," "easier to put on," and have a bungee rand rather than a rubber rand.
I appreciate the shorter tunnel, and all, but really? I guess the fact that I have a vagina equates to the assumption that I can't put a real spray skirt on, or that I have no need for serious gear?
Prime example:
Level Six- Women's Queen Spray Skirt- their website says it's based on the Ace, which is rubber randed, has an implosion bar, and a Kevlar rim... except the Queen doesn't have the implosion bar, it's a bungee rand, it's stretchier and it's lacking the Kevlar.
Same with the J-lo from Immersion Research and the Flirt from Snap Dragon. So there's really only a few women-specific spray skirts out there, but apparently they're all made for pussies.

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Old 01-13-2015   #2
 
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I cannot relate to your spray skirt dilemma, being that I don't kayak, nor have a vagina...but I do like your style! That was a first class rant in my book and I hope you feel better anyways!
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Old 01-13-2015   #3
 
Steamboat, Colorado
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I do feel a bit lighter in the chest area, so to speak.

Thanks for listening! Sometimes a good rant is all it takes.
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Old 01-13-2015   #4
 
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I actually had no idea that "women's specific" sprayskirts existed. Weird. Marketing for "women's specific" unisex products is almost always a sexist shit show- have you seen these?
Amazon.com : BIC Cristal For Her Ball Pen, 1.0mm, Black, 16ct (MSLP16-Blk) : Ballpoint Stick Pens : Office Products

Anyway, I really like my bomber gear skirt, it's only ever imploded on me once, and that was in the front of the duo off a 25 fter at low water. If the tunnel thing is a serious issue, just fold it over?
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Old 01-13-2015   #5
 
Steamboat, Colorado
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Haha, a thin barrel to fit a woman's hand! Good stuff. I'm going to have to invest in some of those pen's; these manly barrels at work are absolutely killing my grip (anaconda squeeze)!

The tunnels on the skirts aren't even that long or anything (I usually only have to fold it over about an inch or two, or let it act as a bustier below my bikini), I was really just marveling at the differences in design.

The funniest part of my whole rant is that I actually went ahead and bought the Ace from Level Six... only to discover that I do need help putting it on! It's friggin burly!!!! Funny funny funny. Damn it. Those sexist bastards were right! But I think once I get it a little wet and stretch it out a few times, it'll spread over that big cockpit rather nicely

I suppose this is a good time to admit that I like the small shaft on my Seven2 paddle too. It was probably made for women, who can't possibly handle a normal shaft with their frail little hands.
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Old 01-13-2015   #6
Old Guy in a PFD
 
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Schutzie loves this rant!
He wants to know about mean women.........

In any case, I think the reason why women's skirts are easier to stretch and use a bungee probably doesn't have much to do with possession of a vagina.

I mean, I don't Kayak (I was after all not raised by wolves) but I've never seen a male use his ....... (insert vulgar term for penis) ......to engage his spray skirt. Not sure it's even possible. Perhaps experiments are called for?

Anyway I think the issue has more to do with the idea that most women don't have the same upper body strength as most men.

Now, me, I can't say that I agree with the idea, cause, you know, the women I ran with in the early 70's rowed the freight right along side the men. They did complain a bit more about the sanitation of the porta pots, and the lack of privacy overall, but as far as upper body strength they seemed to be a pretty hardy lot.

And my lovely wife, who I met on the river, regularly slaps me back into line even when I'm just standing around minding my own business. I can confirm that her upper body strength is at least equal to my own.

Now that I think about it, probably the reason I'm intrigued by the idea that women are "mean" relates to my wife's willingness to whack me one for seemingly no reason what so ever.

You know, just on principal.
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Old 01-13-2015   #7
 
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That brings up a good point. I have actually witnessed some of my male friends attempting to piss up through their skirt and out of their kayaks (It didn't work). For that specific male-only application, a shorter tunnel would be advantageous.


All brand new skirts should be pretty stiff and hard to put on your boat the first several times. You can stretch it out on your boat when you're not using it if you want.
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Old 01-13-2015   #8
 
Steamboat, Colorado
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Wonder how efficient this little guy is... looks like it would be pretty applicable for your man friends looking for easy "evacuation"
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Old 01-13-2015   #9
 
BV, CO
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yakkeranna View Post
That brings up a good point. I have actually witnessed some of my male friends attempting to piss up through their skirt and out of their kayaks (It didn't work). For that specific male-only application, a shorter tunnel would be advantageous.
Haha. Piss up through their tunnel? Nah, you're sposed to pull your skirt and its called fire boating...
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Old 01-13-2015   #10
 
Steamboat, Colorado
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Why is it called fire boating???

Are they trying to extinguish a fire???

Is it emergency status- aka- "where's the fire?"

Is this some sort of game? Is it anything like the bar in town that has mini footballs strung across the urinals... practice your aim, make a goal, and relieve yourself.

This rant has certainly taken an interesting turn!
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