"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."
- Hunter S. Thompson
It's Labor Day, the "official" end of summer. What a summer it's been on the political front. It's as though Men's Wearhouse had a HUGE sale on CRAZYPANTS. "I guar-an-tee it!"
The sober, rational wing of the GOP spent the summer surrendering to the absolutely crazy wing of the GOP led by Limbaugh/Palin/Beck. Townhall meetings echoed with insane lies about healthcare reform spewed by semi-literate fools... who would actually benefit from reform.
GOP representatives for the most part let the lies stand, and in some cases fueled them. The inmates, it seems, have taken over the asylum.
David Frum, a rational conservative, blames the situation in part, on the “conservative entertainment-industrial complex,” a painfully accurate term offered up by godless homosexual Andrew Sullivan. According to Frum, this well-funded group of moonhowling nutballs has “distorted conservative dialogue to suit the wishes of the Fox audience.” He says that drawing on such a group, “you can get seriously rich out of that, but you can’t govern a country with that kind of voter base, it’s a tiny minority-within-a-minority.” And they're bull goose loonies.
Glen Beck and the kooks at WorldNetDaily have been busily encouraging the conspiracy-theory-minded fringers with bizarre tales and laughable lies. Let's look at some of the crazypants conservos and their wacky rants. Did the summer heat melt their little bitty brains?
• Conservative blowhard Pat Buchanan recently defended Hitler. Really
. Oddly, some conservocrazies have compared Obama to Hitler!
• Rep. Michelle Bachmann (R-Nuthouse) said (in Colorado no less
) "What we have to do today is make a covenant, to slit our wrists, be blood brothers on this thing [healthcare reform]. This will not pass. We will do whatever it takes to make sure this doesn’t pass.” Bachmann also said that Dems are trying to sabotage her so she can't become the first female president. No shit. You just can't make up this stuff
• Orly Taitz, the LA-based lawyer-realtor-dentist, rallied the "birthers" with hilarious, completely disproven gibberish.
• Astroturf imbeciles battled healthcare reform because it's "socialized medicine"... while they admonish Comrade Obama and his godless communist minions to "keep their hands off my Medicare"... which interestingly is socialized medicine
FreedomWorks [Chaired by former House Majority Leader Dick Armey], which was one of the lobbying groups involved in orchestrated the anti-Obama "tea parties" on April 15, 2009, began pursuing an aggressive strategy to create the illusion of mass public opposition to healthcare and clean energy reform at Congressmembers' town-hall meetings in their districts. A leaked memo from Bob MacGuffie, a volunteer with the FreedomWorks website "Tea Party Patriots," describes how members should infiltrate town hall meetings and harass and intimidate Democratic members of Congress: "Spread out in the hall and try to be in the front half. The objective is to put the Rep on the defensive with your questions and follow-up ... You need to rock-the-boat early in the Rep's presentation. Watch for an opportunity to yell out and challenge the Rep's statements early. If he blames Bush for something or offers other excuses -- call him on it, yell back and have someone else follow-up with a shout-out ... The goal is to rattle him ..."
• Ex-guvnuh Sarah Palin talked about non-existent Obama "death panels." Oh my God, that scary negro man wants to kill Sarah Palin's baby and her parents!
mainstreamer Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa) endorsed this outrageous fiction.
• Conservative school districts will prevent schoolchildren from seeing the President of the United States give a speech challenging them to work hard, earn good grades and stay in school. Why that's "socialist indoctrination" by that scary negro Manchurian candidate!
• Sen. James Inhofe (R-Crazytown) said that Obama wants to release Gitmo terrorists in America. Maybe they'll be chairing the "death panels".
Interestingly, Inhofe also believes climate change is “the greatest hoax in human history”, and the world’s climatologists are “liars”.
• President Barack Obama was called a socialist-communist-fascist by countless buffoons on the crazy right. Too bad the Glenn Becks of the world don't know the difference. Insane
• Blatherer Michelle Malkin said Obama's stimulus provided cash for a "levitating train" between Disneyland and Nevada brothels. Will Minnie Mouse be turning taxpayer-subsidized tricks at the Kit Kat Ranch?
• Arthur Laffer, the rightwing economist so beloved by supply siders, claimed on CNN that it would be a disaster
if the government got its hands on Medicare, the program providing healthcare for the elderly, paid for entirely by
… the government
• Baptist "preacher" Steven Anderson of Tempe, AZ told his congregation, “God hates Barack Obama. I hate Barack Obama.” In a rambling, hour-plus sermon, the "preacher" offered up a crazy-assed birther fantasy of Obama playing baseball in Kenya as a child with a stick and a mango. For Anderson, Obama cannot be “saved,” and because Obama backs access to abortion for women, he deserves to die. “You’re gonna tell me that I’m supposed to pray for the socialist devil,” said Anderson, rhetorically, referring to Obama, “[this] murderer, infanticide, who wants to see young children, and he wants to see babies killed through abortion and partial birth — and all these other things — you’re gonna tell me I’m supposed to pray for god to give him a good lunch tomorrow while he’s in Phoenix, Arizona. Nope. I’m not going to pray for his good. I’m going to pray that he dies and goes to hell. When I go to bed tonight, that’s how I’m going to pray.”
• At Twin Falls, Idaho, Republicans at a rally were talking about wolf hunting licenses. Someone in the crowd asked about “Obama tags.” GOP governor candidate Rex Rammell responded, “The Obama tags? We’d buy some of those.” Imagine if Democrats had pondered "Bush tags"? Or if Cheney had actually purchased a "lawyer tag"?
“The Democrats have moved to the right, and the Republicans have moved to a mental hospital.”
- Bill Maher