Questions about river gear - Mountain Buzz

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Old 05-05-2014   #1
Old Guy in a PFD
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Paddling Since: 1967
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,106
Questions about river gear

So as I prepare to once again throw myself into the raging waters after a 35 year (really, 35 years!) hiatus, I find that some of the advancements in equipment have left me befuddled. I need advice!

1) The life jackets we wore in the 70's were the marshmallow kapoc type. As I was exiting the river scene the new closed cell foam jackets were coming on the market, and I did find them much more comfortable. However, I note that most now zip up, rather than tie, so I need to know; how will I know if I'm getting a male life jacket rather than a female jacket? I would have thought the zipper pull would be on the left for males, and right for females, but when I looked at jackets in the store, they were all the same. The clerk was no help when I asked; she just shook her head and developed a facial twitch before she whispered that she'd see if she could find a manager. She never did come back and neither did the manager.

2) While pop tops were common, we still carried can openers just in case the little tab broke off. I found my old can opener, but I'm curious if there are newer options out there. My opener was forever poking holes in my pockets, causing me to loose my extra change.

3) We used to carry both white and red wine for dinner. It seemed that people were pretty comfortable with our options, but since then I know times have changed. Should I carry a nice Rose' in addition to the box O White wine and the box O red? Or, is it still OK to mix the two together when someone asks for a Rose"?

4) We used to make real camp coffee; dump the grounds right into the pot of boiling water and settle the grounds with egg shells, or just use your mustache as a filter. I see now that lattes are the rage, but I am unsure; do I buy coffee made for drip makers, or for espresso?

4) Perhaps the most pressing question; back in the day we kept the toilet paper in a plastic bag that was left on top of the potty. I see now that there are these rigid plastic holders that seem to be the new norm for carrying toilet paper. This leads to my question; do you leave the roll so the paper hangs over, or under?

Thanks in advance, looking forward to seeing you on the river!

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Old 05-05-2014   #2
lmyers's Avatar
Buena Vista, Colorado
Paddling Since: 2005
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 4,833
1. Go to a better shop. Generally there are distinct design differences between male and female pfd's...

2. You don't need a can opener unless you packing canned goods on your rubber...if you bring glass, please wrap it in duck tape.

3. Screw the wine, bring whiskey.

4. French press with powdered hazelnut creamer...nough said.

4.5. Who cares....

5. If your serious about 35 years without boating, please go now. Don't finish reading this thread, don't reply, don't even change clothes...just grab your shit and go, now...please.
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