To the Gaper who saved my a$$ - Mountain Buzz

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Old 01-03-2006   #1
Self-Aggrandizing jackass
heliodorus04's Avatar
The Ranch, Colorado
Paddling Since: 04
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,134
To the Gaper who saved my a$$

Thank you.
Gawd thank you. I hope your karma is overflowing from your good deed.

Here's what I did on New Year's day at Breckenridge...

I put my car keys, which are on a carabiner themselves, into the same pocket that I put my MP3 player in. At various times on my travels I take the MP3 player out and change playlists...

Long story short, somewhere ON the lift 8 superconnect, I was fiddling with my MP3 list and my pants suspender, and took part of my coat off. I never knew my keys bailed on me, and I have no idea on what part of the mountain they jumped.

But some gaper (probably a local, actually, looking up at ME calling ME a gaper, which is entirely accurate when you drop your locking-carabiner-mounted keys off the lift!) saw them fall, grabbed them, and turned them in. I didn't notice until I was down in Tiffany's having a beer that they were gone. My good day turning to ruin, one of my party went to the nearest lost and found, and there were my keys.

Praise whomever.
Thank you thank you thank you.

Lesson learned: carabiner locks keys into pocket that nothing else goes in, and that never gets opened...

By the way, was the New Year's day snow that awesome, or am I just a newb! I did my first blue-black run (but only because I was lost, LOL, but I made it well).

I'm loving snowboarding now. Haven't had a high-impact crash since lesson 2. But yes, I am overusing the term "gaper". I started late in life...

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Old 01-03-2006   #2
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 56
What I have been doing for years to avoid ever having to worry about losing my keys or having to deal with bulky keys in my pocket or worry about locking my keys in my truck is keeping a spare key in one of the key boxes with a magnet underneath my truck, sitting on top of the frame where it would be difficult to see and nearly impossible to fall off. I lock my keys in my car on purpose anytime I'm going to be doing anything where I might possibly lose my keys or when I just don't want the extra weight or bulk.
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Old 01-03-2006   #3
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Thought-criminal, Colorado
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I tuck my keys away in a bodily orafice. No place safer than the holiest of holies. Might be a bit uncomfortable if you're a janitor, though.
I hope in the future Americans are thought of as a warlike, vicious people, because I bet a lot of high schools would pick "Americans" as their mascot. -Jack Handy
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Old 01-03-2006   #4
Abron Cabron
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Santa Fe, Nuevo Mexico
Paddling Since: 1999
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 611
I second the hide a- key. i have never lost mine in 6 years of NM dirt roads and four wheeling. it is very good to know where your keys are at all times. just check to see if it's still there everytime before locking the keys in the truck. oh and when you un-intentionally lock them in there, it is a huge relief to have your own back back up plan.

Although it may work for BSOE, as a beginning snowboarder you may sustain serious rectal trauma, and should consider utilizing an ass pillow and a training regimen if employing said storage method. He has years of training and muscle control techniques, learned with a very secretive sect of arse-monks on the NW slopes of pikes peak, in a large hidden cavern.(The 'holiest of holies').
I can just see you explaining it to ski patrol "well... this Bastard told me it was the best way, and i believed him, and now it hurts to sit, and i am bleeding!!! i'm never driving my car to the mountain again!!!" as a patroller and EMS provider I would find this funny for a whole minute possibly.... luckily you're far away.
And i Believe it is redundant to call someone else a gaper when you are yourself in that category. 'Nice tourist who returned my keys' maybe. i think they have to do something stupid to really be a gaper... like, maybe drop their keys off the lift and not even notice??
just joshing ya. and be happy it wasn't summer. the river doesn't return keys, glasses or wedding rings...... i guess thats why its called learning. oh, and if there was any snow down here, i wouldn't be the loser wasting time on the computer during the day... at least you have snow to fall on.
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