You Front Rangers... - Mountain Buzz
 



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Old 07-07-2010   #1
 
kayaker
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You Front Rangers...

... are very lucky to have such a place as the Poudre Canyon so close. It's almost so good that it shouldn't be considered a part of the front range... Anyways, I was able to do a little exploring in your neck of the woods/city/mank town usa, and thought I would share. Here are some pics of our Narrows mission.

Ross Herr Kayaking

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Old 07-07-2010   #2
 
Denver, Colorado
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Poudre Canyon is pretty damn good for biking, too!
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Old 07-08-2010   #3
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Did you get on the Big South? The crown jewel of CO kayaking!! There is over 60 miles of runnable river and maybe way more, with the little south, north fork, Joe Wright, Big South, and the Poudre proper from Cameron's to town. Plus there is a town with a college, girls, things to do, fun bar scene... So ya all you front range bashers, just mellow, have a beer with the 15 dudes in the bar with you and realize that although you live in the mountains, there are rad places all over.
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Old 07-08-2010   #4
 
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Bozeman, Montana
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poudre narrows is good.. but this post is lame.
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Old 07-08-2010   #5
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Ok, so I have to tell my story. I've seen the various posts on the buzz about 303 vs. 970, Front Rangers suck, Mountain Dudes have no jobs, and the like. I've never really participated but I thought they were entertaining and in good fun.

Well, a week or so ago, I'm paddling down Clear Creek with a bud when we bump into a couple other guys. One of the guys is someone I'd met earlier in the year from Vail so we stop and say hello. The other guy was an unknown. Anyway, they had never paddled Black Rock before and asked if they could follow us. We said sure and gave them a little beta on the main drops. We get to talking with the other guy and it turns out he's from Tennessee and has been in Colorado for a few weeks doing lots of paddling.

At one point towards the end on of the run, he turns to the two us and says (paraphrasing the conversion), "You're Front Rangers, aren't you?" We affirm his assertion. Then he says, "Man, you guys are cool as shit. Everybody's been telling me that Front Rangers totally suck."

Some time later, I began to contemplate this statement a little more. Are mountain dudes really sitting around talking about Front Rangers all the time? Do they have long conversation with people they meet about how much the Front Range sucks? Is this how they use their free time that would otherwise be spent dating chicks and working a white collar job?

How exactly does the conversation go anyway. "Hey dudes, I'm from Tennessee out here looking for some cool paddling. I heard Crested Butte has some good shit, anywhere else I should go?" "Yeah man, CB is sick. You should check out the short section of blasted rock along the trashed mining operations by Vail too. Watch out for guys from the Front Range though. Those guys are total douchebags. You may have to drive through Denver on your back East, but try not to stop and avoid eye contact at all costs. Don't be fooled by the women; they're all succubus's and will give you herpes."

Seriously, what's going on up there?
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Old 07-08-2010   #6
 
Park City, Utah
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Front range / west slope

Here's my thoughts.

The guys up in te mountain towns need to justify the sacrafices in pay scale and availability of women by bashing the front range. Having lived in both, they both have there positives.

I married a mountain girl and thus was the brunt of these comments for a number of years from the guys she worked with. Funny thing was, all of the other mountain girls were with front rangers as well. They would bitch about the lack of hygene and knarly need to be a burn out as the turn offs on the locals. The guys would all go to the city to try and pick up cougars.

In the end, there are good people all over Colorado and even one or two in Texas.
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Old 07-08-2010   #7
 
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whats going on besides a little bit on imbreeding? well obviously they seem to forget that the new bible is written by front rangers.. they have also forgot that they arent the shit because they are leaving first d's well to people not from colorado.. which is rad... they forget they have good shit to run but end up driving for some POUDRE NARROWS without a book and think they are the shit for not having a book or directions to a putin... extreme for sure.. as far as i know.. the front rangers have been getting it done for a while same with the arkies.. but west slope is on a downward slope literally.. go boat you bunch of yuppies... ohh yeah i got some really crappy pictures of gore canyon should i post them? no.

btw that first drop is super collider Pete's got the sickest boof in the new bible
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Old 07-08-2010   #8
 
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Thanks Canada.
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Old 07-08-2010   #9
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Greater tri cities metro area, Colorado
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KSC View Post
Are mountain dudes really sitting around talking about Front Rangers all the time? Do they have long conversation with people they meet about how much the Front Range sucks? Is this how they use their free time that would otherwise be spent dating chicks and working a white collar job?
Yeah, it's pretty much like that.

Above 8k, you're required by local penal codes to talk smack about the front range... it's a fact.

C'mon, if you shoot Canon, you've got to talk smack about Nikon (cause obviously Nikon suks!!). If you drive a Ford, you've got to talk smack about Chevy (don't own either... so, umm, no comment?), the people who watch the professional ball playing contests talk about the other people who watch the ball playing contest in a different city... and so on & so on.

Living out of the city & seeing all the toolbags that come up every weekend, could you really live up here & NOT talk smack about the blight at the bottom of the hill that is Denver???

We live in the boonies, what the hell else do we have to do, there's no girls, no bars, and it's just plain boring up here so we talk smack for entertainment. Unfortunately, our ringleader CB passed a few years ago, so the quality of our rhetoric has been dropping ever since.


As much as I like to talk sh*t about you bottom of the hill folk, I can't imagine telling someone that those front range boaters are pricks or anything like that, boaters are boaters. Well... aside from smelly raft guides that is...

(people from Texas on the other hand... seriously? Now there's now way there's any cool people who live in THAT state!!)
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Old 07-08-2010   #10
 
Durango, Colorado
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Actually, its more like this:

You can go boating on Clear Creek but you'll probably end up chasing some Boulder yuppie's empty 97 gallon creekboat down razor sharp blast rock, while he sits on the side of the creek meditating about the meaning of life and how often he should fertilize his lawn. Meanwhile, your car has been broken into by tweakers and your girlfriend has run off with the biker gang from Kermits. If that sounds good to you, sure, go boating on the front range.

subtext: we're all out of water down here and it sucks.
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