Will TheKid be Gore's newest little B!t@H?? - Mountain Buzz

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Old 08-18-2005   #1
ski/kayak bum
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 460
Will TheKid be Gore's newest little [email protected]??

To Whom Ever it May Concern
and an open letter to TheKid,

For those of you out there who haven't yet been informed, TheKid has bitched his way out of the festivities at Gore this weekend.
Please don't speculate as to why, that wouldn't be fair to him. We have no way of knowing whether he is avoiding the fun times because of his ongoing battle with herpes (we tried to get him to quit sharing a sleeping bag with twitch but it was to no avail), his huge fear of drunk girls (cause he might actually get laid), the fact that Gore isn't a playpark or if he just can't seperate himself from the 303 long enough to enjoy actual boating.
I am not one to get on here and present an issue without offering a solution. I need the entire mountainbuzz community to come together on this and support the organization Over Cumming Gore Fears also known as Remove Anal Beeds from Ass and Boat. It is a non-profit set up by TheKid's mom (she does her own fundraising and will be providing services at the Gore Festival). The mission statement can be read at www.hookinmomsbitchofason.com. Our short term mission is to get the railroad open just for TheKid only. This way he can apply his perscribed cream and give hand jobs during portages.....

Thanks for the support,

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Old 08-18-2005   #2
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 566

Them there are some fighting words. However, all this smack talking begs the question...WILL YOU BE AT GORE?
I understand that the electro-shock therapy you've been undergoing since your 'incident' has been going quite well. The move to So. Cal, however, is very suspect and I believe it was your subconcious desire never to see the canyon walls of Gore again which led you to the land of fast food and man-whoring.
I hope one day you regain the gusto you displayed during your first year of boating and find the courage within yourself to return to the scene of the crime. That is to say, boat it on the grand stage of Gore Fest.
Menwhile, I wish you continued pleasure sitting at your desk watching your spare tire grow.

As for the Kid, I'd love to see him there, but he'll be working for the man. If you want to help, call 303/761-7070 and beg for them to set him free...or in the words of my tribe "let my people go!"
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Old 08-18-2005   #3
ski/kayak bum
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 460
dude my spare tire is getting smaller (its all relative)....215lbs or so
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Old 08-18-2005   #4
Join Date: Oct 2003
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Not what I heard brother. Your roomate told me that you asked him to clean 'down under' for you because you'd lost sight of it. That's just wrong dude. Lay off all the fried foods or something.
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Old 08-18-2005   #5
Arvada, 80003
Paddling Since: 2002
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 253
dun da da dun!!!!!!!!!!!!! The kid is here to save this post. You two spu the most retarted crap i have ever heard in my life. Your intament knowledge of eachother leads me to wonder if the two of you might have hooked up a few times, or even dated back in your CB days. This constant bickering just screams out how much the both of you long for eachother. Now I think that you two must have fell in love long ago. Because twitch is obviously blinded. Aaron (which we are about to change to tripple Aaaron do to his growing mass)your grotesk size makes me wondering why twitch is still interested in you? But as they say distance makes the heart grow founder, and the two of you more than prove that. It is great to see that there are still people that are in love in this world.

Now see boys you can slander a person with out being offensive and obscene. Leave the herpes and the hand jobs to your own personal care. What goes on in your bathrooms at home never needs to make on to this page.

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Old 08-18-2005   #6
Join Date: Oct 2003
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neck gasket

See that little button below the text your typing little bro? It's called spell check. Use it.

While my heart often does 'founder', it surely does not grow fonder of AAAron. On his last visit I recall him needing to have his torn neck gasket replaced, and now it all makes sence. He's busting at the seams, literally.

I promise not to "spu" any of my "intament" knowledge about AAAron's girth any longer. I just hope we can intervene in time before things get out of hand (cream). The reports are absurd. His boss had to order him a larger & stronger chair because his fat (yet deliciously attractive) a$$ broke the last one. I'm afraid that he'll soon be the target of malicious 'fat' jokes if we don't have an intervention soon.
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Old 08-18-2005   #7
ski/kayak bum
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 460
It is apparent that all you guys really want is a picture of my rippin six pack abs. I can't believe that you would go to such lengths of fiction just to get a frickin peek. You know very well that I sell those pictures as cover shots to Men's Health magazine. If anyone here needed an intervention it would be for twitch's forest of a back. Go become a metro and get waxed or you will start spreading all that lice thats nesting in there and TheKid can't handle contracting any more communicable diseases. Don't feel left out TheKid, the plastic surgery industry has come up with the perfect cure for your problem, Anal Bleaching is all the rage with people of your lifestyle. Don't worry you can still playboat as long as you can keep your gas powered toys away from the area.
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Old 08-19-2005   #8
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 1
hmmmm... communicable diseases and homosexuality..... boy, both of those are so much fun for a laugh! no implied judgment call's being made there, right????

Might be worth noting that given current infection rates and prevalence, 1-in-4 Americans currently have genital herpes. Seeing as 90% of infected folks don't realize they have the herps due to atypical symptoms, and there are now 4 posters on this thread-- well, all I gotta say is I know for a fact that "1-in-4" poster ain't me, bros.

I guess you guys are lucky they make blood tests to screen for that shit... you know, before you guys go infectin' anyone else aside from the three of yourselves.

(you probably didn't offend anyone who might've stumbled across this post anyway though, right??? naw, never, with all that maturity and sensitivity you've got goin' on here)
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Old 08-19-2005   #9
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Golden, Colorado
Paddling Since: 1985
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 191
What a cute love triangle you make.

Can I catch herpes from a kayak seat? 1 out of 4 seats makes boat swaping a little scary.
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Old 08-19-2005   #10
ski/kayak bum
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 460
we're talkin about a little bit of cuddling/ handjobs/ metros and TheKids manual anal stimulation....not homosexuality and I am not a homophobe nor do i condone discrimination based on sexuality!!! Any hint of that and i apologize. We're just a couple of friends giving each other a "hard" time.

As far as communicable diseases, I believe that it is your problem unless you caught it through blood transfusions or some other tragic occurance. Wear condoms!!AIDS is another story and i believe it is one of our WORLD'S biggest problems and challenges. I donated more to AIDS organizations then i did to any other cause last year and so far this year. Much more than i spent on kayak equipment or any other individual entertainment. Roughly 10% of my income.

I don't really want a response or flames and i want to thank you for killing our good time....thanks
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