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Old 09-05-2006   #1
 
Evergreen, Colorado
Paddling Since: 1991
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 316
What You wish you could say but probably wont....

So I saw this topic on rockclimbing.com about how sometimes people ask really stupid questions like, "so how did you get your rope up there?" (atleast we think they are stupid). Most climbers are super cool about it and try to help people learn about the sport. But sometimes you just want to repsond with a smart ass response some of my favorites were... "Ever heard of Ninjas?" or "we trained our dog to walk it around to the top"
http://www.rockclimbing.com/forums/v..._view=&start=0

Sooo I thought it might be fun to hear what you have always wanted to say to the questions we get. Dont missunderstand this I am not advocating being an ass or anything. Just what you have wanted to say.

Here are the questions I get. Feel free to add other questions as well.
1. What happens when you flip over?
2. What if you hit your head on a rock?
3. So do you kneel in that thing? How do you fit in that thing?
4. Dont you know that the water is moving to fast for you to paddle up stream?(when surfing a wave a redenck on the side of the river came over and told me this)

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Old 09-05-2006   #2
 
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Englewood, Colorado
Paddling Since: 1978
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 882
Never thought I'd actually hear this, but someone on the Numbers asked me if we just "end up at the start and take out there".....yeah, of course. I just use a Subaru instead of a kayak.
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Old 09-05-2006   #3
 
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Thought-criminal, Colorado
Paddling Since: 2000
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Posts: 989
When people ask "how you fit in that thang?" I like to respond "with one leg in the front and one leg in back". You'd be amazed how many people make a face of understanding and shake their head up and down like "ohh."
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Old 09-05-2006   #4
I kayak DH.
 
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Greater tri cities metro area, Colorado
Join Date: Oct 2003
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Had an older lady tell me one day that she saw this poor kayaker having a really tough time & felt bad for him....the kayaker kept trying to paddle up this small hydraulic & kept flipping & cartwheeling, he never did make it up...

I thought this was great, I didn't even bother to explain!
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Old 09-05-2006   #5
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 183
Conversation with a bystander at Golden playpark this summer:

Bystander: "Is that hard to learn?"

Me: "kinda"

Bystander: "Does it go all the way around?"

Me: "What the kayak?"

Bystander: "The river"

I was too astounded to come up with a smart ass answer. I came up with a ton later.
Some of the best answers ever for climin questions come from Devils Tower. Donut shop on top, no pitons b/c it's full of water etc.
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Old 09-05-2006   #6
 
Westminster, Colorado
Paddling Since: 1999
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 536
A question I've had from guests on too many commercial trips to even count:
"When do we put out?"
Me: "Well, we take out in two days."

Probably 10% of our guests were under the impression that we would eventually float back to the put-in.
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Old 09-05-2006   #7
 
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Thought-criminal, Colorado
Paddling Since: 2000
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Posts: 989
Q: "When do we put out?"
A: "Any time you want to, baby, just let me know."

Talk about a nice tip.
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Old 09-05-2006   #8
 
Seattle, Washington
Join Date: Feb 2004
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Somewhat related, a buddy of mine used to guide on the Ark and said a customer once looked into the water and asked where the tracks were. I'd say that registers pretty high on the ignorance/stupidity scale.
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Old 09-05-2006   #9
 
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Thornton, Colorado
Paddling Since: 1999
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Posts: 231
"Does this river flow uphill?"

"Yeah, only one in the world."

"WOW, that is so cool. What do you do with all the water?"

"Truck it back down the hill."

"No wonder the you guys are so expensive."

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Old 09-05-2006   #10
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 4
i hiked to the bottom of the put-in steps at the tallulah in northeast georgia with a girl i was dating at the time. it was around new years and obviously not a release weekend. as we sat there winded from our descent of the 600 plus steps that lead to the put-in, she commented that it must really suck to hike your boat back up all those steps after paddling the river. i asked her what she was talking about and quickly learned that she thought the river flowed in a circle. pretty funny.
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