Virgin on the sticks, virgin on Westwater - Mountain Buzz
 



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Old 11-17-2015   #1
 
Salt Lake City, Utah
Paddling Since: 1998
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Virgin on the sticks, virgin on Westwater

Alright Elders and Sisters of the quorum of the forum, here's a scenario. I'll keep it simple--bullet points--and you all can guide me to the light of reason, via holy ghost, fasting and prayer, about whether or not this was a good idea.
*Westwater in November
*One kayaker tore a hole in his yak, and so will take a raft
*Said kayaker's never rowed Westwater, but that's OK because
*Said kayaker won't be rowing Westwater
*Said kayaker's friend will row
*Said Kayaker will tell friend what to do. Voice commands.
*Friend of said kayaker went on a river trip once or twice before
*But friend of said kayaker has never rowed a goddamned thing
*We go and run Westwater
*Friend of Kayaker styles everything like a champion until
*Sock it flips the boat like an empty semi trailer on I-80 in Laramie
*Kayaker and friend go swimming
*Kayaker and friend flip boat back over
*Kayaker takes the sticks to run Last Chance
*Last Chance dumps Kayaker out of the boat
*Boat teeters on brink of extinction before friend does might hyside
*Kayaker and friend are cold, must warm up
*Warmth comes from working hard and carrying mighty loads
*Kayakers are tired of paddling
*3 Kayakers board raft, commence drinking
*Kayaker and friend row drunken kayakers to take out
*Sun sets, all is well

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Old 11-17-2015   #2
KSC
 
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Boulder, Colorado
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* Sounds like a standard Westwater trip
* except with a little less carnage
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Old 11-17-2015   #3
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Golden, Colorado
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Thanks for not posting boring gopro footie from a raft.


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Old 11-17-2015   #4
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Boulder, Colorado
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tango View Post
Thanks for not posting boring gopro footie from a raft.
+ 1
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Old 11-17-2015   #5
 
Salt Lake City, Utah
Paddling Since: 1998
Join Date: Nov 2015
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Sheeeeit! GoPro? I have one camera, but needs this stuff called film, which believe it or not, is still for sale at your friendly neighborhood grocer.
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Old 11-17-2015   #6
 
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C. Springs, Colorado
Join Date: Aug 2004
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Kayaker's are impervious to cold and being wet. If your story was about normal Joe's then yes.....it might have been a bad idea. But since they were kayaker's.......sound like a typical trip to me.
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Old 11-17-2015   #7
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Tabernash, Colorado
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So how drunk was original boatman of said raft that he handed sticks over to newby and said holey kayak boater?
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Old 11-17-2015   #8
 
Salt Lake City, Utah
Paddling Since: 1998
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Forgot a bullet point:
*No true oarsmen with any meaningful experience present--just a bunch of kayaking swine
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Old 11-17-2015   #9
 
Fort Collins, Colorado
Paddling Since: 1986
Join Date: Apr 2007
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Who fell into the Firepan?

Sounds like a sorta boring trip.
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Old 11-18-2015   #10
 
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C. Springs, Colorado
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Second Secretary of 70 View Post
Forgot a bullet point:
*No true oarsmen with any meaningful experience present--just a bunch of kayaking swine
It ain't Gore Canyon. If it was a virgin kayaker in a kayak....I might be concerned. If it was a virgin on the boat with a bunch of drunk kayaker's....... ..then I'd be real concerned.
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