Transcended - Mountain Buzz
 



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Old 07-12-2014   #1
 
Myka's Avatar
 
Bozeman, Montana
Paddling Since: 98
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Transcended

Some of you may know most of you are probably clueless. I am who was known as Caspermike.. I have dealt with some issues my whole life and tried for 28 odd years for "normal" but my gender dysphoria will not go away. So with that I must take what's left and continue on. I am transgender and a lot of my pain in the past I spewed as hatred towards others. I'm deeply sorry for the pain I caused others. I know I reaped what I sowed but I have to move on and accept the change because denial is killing me, literally. Some of my first memories are of gender dysphoria. If some of you are clueless to what I am even talking about. I'm a trans woman. We can start there. If you got some questions I can def answer them. I like boating and all the same stuff just have some stuff going on inside that I had been keeping secret from everybody.

About 4 months or so ago I deleted most of the boaters off my Facebook I knew cause well I Wasn't in a good place at all. +40 percent of trans people attempted suicide and with a daughter and being at that place. I had to make a choice for life and thats where I am today. It's been a hard few months but i will return just have to take care of myself and some expenses(therapy,lazer,hormones eventually)

I love you all very much and now you know! See you on the water!


Myka

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Old 07-12-2014   #2
 
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I am glad for you, life is worth living.


I and we should all live out our lives as we feel it to be. We should not hide who we are, and we should never take our life based on what and how others make us feel. We need to live for ourselves and not for what others think of us.

I am proud of you, and happy for you. Be the change this world needs to see.

bob
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Old 07-12-2014   #3
 
Denver, Colorado
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Well if that is true,it takes a lot of courage to admit and good luck to you...

If this is some bs prank to mess with Mike then uncool
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Old 07-12-2014   #4
gh
 
pnw, Colorado
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Good luck. Hope you get some good help to work your way through it.
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"Yesterday I was clever and tried to change the world. Today I am wise and try to change myself." -Rumi
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Old 07-12-2014   #5
 
BV, CO
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Standing with and for you, Myka...
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Old 07-12-2014   #6
 
Myka's Avatar
 
Bozeman, Montana
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Serious is a funny word but yes I am a real transsexual. This is no joke. My gender dysphoria pretty much always been happening on its on. Most of my memories are of gender dysphoria when I was a child. I stopped taking care of myself after high school hence the homeless look.. And alcohol seems really good at adding denial. My adrenaline addiction was basically the only thing making me feel alive. Every year when kayaking season would come up id hit it harder to try and make my dysphoria go away. Just got to the point where it's basically debilitating. It's also called gender dissonance. For you not so literate "woman trapped in males body"

Anyways welcome to the real world. The natural one at least.
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Old 07-12-2014   #7
 
Myka's Avatar
 
Bozeman, Montana
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Posts: 65
Gender dysphoria - NHS Choices
Here's some info on what it is and what it is not

Feel free to ask Questions you would be comfortable being asked.

I honestly just needed to crush what was left of the ego: and it's
Done and I'm happy.

http://youtu.be/zpmKjJ4YU_c
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Old 07-12-2014   #8
 
Golden, Colorado
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Myka, best of luck to you.

For what it's worth, while I guess you are looking for a clean break from the past, it may help other people here if you made one last post on this topic under the CasperMike login to dispel the doubt you are on the level about it or that it is a over the line prank on CM and the Buzz. Just a suggestion.
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Old 07-12-2014   #9
 
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Bozeman, Montana
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This is the last post under this retched alias. Follow your hearts. In the deep dark
Canyons of your soul you will find what you seek! Fear not what's down stream as the water continues to flow. Look before you leap but don't be afraid to leap. Sometimes faith is all that's left and that's what it takes. Follow the white rabbit!

Myka

I am not running from my past I'm transforming it into something sustainable
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Old 07-12-2014   #10
 
Denver, Colorado
Paddling Since: 1995
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I suppose there could be others,but I'll go out on a limb and say you're probably the most badass transsexual kayaker out there....hope you find happiness...
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