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Old 09-27-2007   #1
 
Vail, Colorado
Paddling Since: 1066
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River Humor

You know, I saw a post today about snow and I saw snow on Copper this morning (man made)... But before I give up on summer, I'd like to know if anyone heard any good jokes this summer, tasteful or not. Raft Guides and Boaters telll the funniest stories...

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Old 09-28-2007   #2
 
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four corners, New Mexico
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LEARN TO PAY ATTENTION!!!


First-year students at Texas A&M Vet School were receiving their first
Anatomy class, with a real dead cow.

They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a
white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, "In Vet
Medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor:

The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal
body. For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger
in the butt of the dead cow, withdrew it and stuck it in his mouth. "

Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students. The students freaked
out, hesitated for several minutes. But eventually took turns sticking a
finger in the anal opening of the dead cow and sucking on it.

When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said, "The second
most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and!
sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention."


"Life's tough, it's even tougher if you're stupid." - John Wayne
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Old 09-28-2007   #3
 
Silverthorne, Colorado
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How can you tell someone is a raft guide?




they will tell you....over and over
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Old 09-28-2007   #4
 
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One way to keep another group from launching first thing in the morning is to fill their rafts with sand during the night.
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Old 09-28-2007   #5
 
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Raft guide rapid classification: Reality + II
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Old 09-29-2007   #6
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by two miles high View Post
How can you tell someone is a raft guide?




they will tell you....over and over
Now that's funny.
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Old 09-29-2007   #7
 
4CRS, Durango, Colorado
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What's the difference between hockey players and female raft guides?




Hockey players shower after 3 periods.
I know its wrong but it still makes me laugh. T
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Old 09-29-2007   #8
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that is fucking nasty but unfortunately so true!! ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
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Old 09-30-2007   #9
 
Vail, Colorado
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Cant claim it as my own, but:

What's the difference between a female raft guide and a Yeti? One is 7 feet tall, has the strength of four men, is covered with hair, and smells awful; and one is a mythical creature.

Next:

What did the lady on the beach say to Michael Jackson as he walked by?
Get out of my sun.
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Old 09-30-2007   #10
 
Denver, Colorado
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TonyM View Post
What's the difference between hockey players and female raft guides?




Hockey players shower after 3 periods.
I know its wrong but it still makes me laugh. T

Haha, that's awesome!
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