Lower Animas guides suck - Mountain Buzz
 



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Old 08-01-2012   #1
 
Durango, Colorado
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 87
Lower Animas guides suck

Seriously, they suck. I know all raft guides are inherently stupid but these dip shits have taken it to a new level. Here are a few suggestions....
First, that thing in your hands is a paddle. The part that is supposed to go in the water is the blade. If it's not in the water, you can't turn the boat and you get stuck on rocks - all damn day. Put your F-ing stick in the water and go.
If you are the lead boat and you happen to glance over your shoulder...maybe look for the sweep boat. If you can't see said boat or they are a mile behind you - try catching an eddy and waiting for your trip to regroup. There are other people on the river and they don't want to be in the middle of your trip with your lame ass customers having to listen to you bullshit guide spiel. Tighten your trips up.
If you miraculously happen to catch an eddy and your entire trip is in one location - don't peel out of your eddy right on top of another group and push every one out of the little current that is left. Have a little a awareness and respect and let people pass you.
Finally, when your shitty little brat customers are shooting people that aren't on your trip in the face with a water canon - tell them to stop. I don't know you or your customers. My 60 year old mom and 3 year old kid got shot in the face and then this dude had the balls to talk shit to us and tell them if they didn't want to get wet they shouldn't be on the river. If my kids weren't there - you guys would have been walking home because that knife would have gone all the way down your front tube.
No wonder every one hates you guys. I apologize to the front range rafters for all the shit I have talked to you guys over the years - there is no way you guys suck more than these idiots.

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Old 08-01-2012   #2
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9300ft, Colorado
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Old 08-01-2012   #3
 
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Old 08-01-2012   #4
swimming
 
behind your mom, Colorado
Join Date: May 2012
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roid rage!!!!! LOL it's not that serious bro chill..
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Old 08-01-2012   #5
 
Pugetopolis, Washington
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My beef is with the durangatangs that say "D-go." Gives me douchechills. Its f'n DURANGO you gnardog! What,are you to busy to finish speaking the word!? Rabble rabble!

Okbye
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Old 08-01-2012   #6
 
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Wheat Ridge, Colorado
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I think this is the crux of the matter:


Quote:
My 60 year old mom and 3 year old kid got shot in the face and then this dude had the balls to talk shit to us and tell them if they didn't want to get wet they shouldn't be on the river.
I'd express it differently but I'd be pissed off too if my mother and kid had been blasted in the face by some random custys on a commercial trip.

-AH
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Old 08-01-2012   #7
 
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Old 08-01-2012   #8
 
seattle, Washington
Paddling Since: 90
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I don't blame ya, looked up that run and the only thing that would make me smile is the take out. If you want to beat a raft guide, you must think like one. Imagine you are piss poor, have no gear, never got laid in highschool and wish you were a cop but couldn't pass a piss test. Just give em some space, easy peasy bro.
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Old 08-01-2012   #9
 
Pinecliffe, Colorado
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bucketboater View Post
If you want to beat a raft guide, you must think like one. Imagine you are piss poor, have no gear,
Thats so funny and true. Raft guides dont own shit for gear.
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Old 08-02-2012   #10
 
Pinecliffe, Colorado
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Don't worry his rookie girlfriend will figure out he doesn't own any gear and bail next spring.
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