Lore of the Western Rivers - Mountain Buzz
 



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Old 11-17-2008   #1
 
Carbondale, Colorado
Paddling Since: 2005
Join Date: Feb 2008
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Lore of the Western Rivers

Well, my name is Lindsay and I am actually the compatriot of the man who owns this account, but I have breifly hijacked his screen name to pose a challenge to those of you who have seen whitewater in all colors, every season and many states.
I am collecting the folklore of the western river systems. I am a boater myself and realized that this community is almost entirely undocumented when it comes to language and lore of the rivers.
Think how many words you use to describe your weekend epics that your land locked friends only blink at while smelling your breath suspiciously. How many stories have you told that only recieve crickets and terrified smiles from your family, but beer-spilling laughter and 'No F*ing Way's from your boater buddies. That, my friends, is folklore. And I need it.
Don't worry, I am not nearly important enough to be published in any major periodical, or even any minor local rags, so the secret underbelly of river life will not be cheapened by media, movies and book deals anytime soon (heh..). But I think it's important to have some catalogue of the variations and strains of this other world and language that we live in.

Some of the things I am documenting:
The basic vocabularly of gear and river running- the second nature words you use when describing a run or your boat.

THe story behind rapid names- I am looking mainly for western rivers- CO, UT, WY, AR, ID, I-don't-know-the-abbreviation-for-Nevada, etc. But why is Steer Ridge called Steer Ridge (before someone put the skull there) for example.

Your personal epic- That one day that could have only happened on the river and is only funny because everyone is still alive and not a vegetable.

Games you play- Bootie shots, messing with tourists, etc.

A breif bio- Possible info about how old, hometown, years on the river, other life job etc. for my informant data.

Thank you for any and all information that you can send to [email protected]. Don't worry if it is only a half a thought or a random story, I am looking for as much variety as possible. Also if you have any particularly poignant pictures, send those along as well.

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Old 11-18-2008   #2
 
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Bozeman, Montana
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do we get paid for this novel we are writing? or at least some free gas cards?
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Old 11-18-2008   #3
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Eastern Slope, Colorado
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Mike, give the lady what she wants. She's going to make all of us famous celebrities!

Lindsay, here's some vocabulary to get you started:

"Sheepfucked" - Used when you were taken from behind unwillingly by a river/rapid. For example, "I got sheepfucked by Gore Rapid this weekend!"

"Tickled it" - When you ran something totally clean; "Mike really tickled the Poudre this weekend!"

"The meat" - what you eat for dinner; "I can't wait for the meat!"

"Chicken line" - the relief zipper on a dry-suit

"stern squirts" - these are created by PBR and Chili.

"Bow bobber" - female customer

"Stern pirate" - Male customer that is, well, a stern pirate.

"Chunder muffin" - An individual who has recently undergone a chundering.

Let me know if you need anymore terms. This list is pretty complete, however. The rest of the words we use are typically mono-syllabic and heard on daytime TV.
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Old 11-18-2008   #4
 
Carbondale, Colorado
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HAH! Perfect. Any equally colorful vocab for the groover?

And let me clarify a few things:
First off, yes, thanks I have heard of John Wesley Powell. I also know there is a lot of water in the west that is not entirely dory-friendly but still has names and stories.
Second, the idea with folklore is that its not based on a published work. I actually do want all the bullshit you hear from the 63 year old perma-sloshed who runs Deso as a continuous loop.
Sixth and lastly you do not get paid, and neither do I, but for once in your career as a sensitive, lonely, self-absorbed, and misunderstood badass, a female of your own species is entirely willing to listen to all your bullshit stories. So please...go on
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Old 11-18-2008   #5
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Eastern Slope, Colorado
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Lindsay why don't you tag along on my 2 month Powell re-enactment and get some stories first hand? Launch is March 20.
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Old 11-19-2008   #6
 
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moab, Utah
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i second that, this female wants to hear 'em too. i love tall tales and truths of the river. have at it boys!
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Old 11-19-2008   #7
 
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Durango, Colorado
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Quote:
...but for once in your career as a sensitive, lonely, self-absorbed, and misunderstood badass, a female of your own species is entirely willing to listen to all your bullshit stories. So please...go on
Now THAT was funny...
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Old 11-21-2008   #8
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
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shit talking seems to go up with the difficulty of the river. My second time running black and only time without my river hardened 'body guard' -- I was told that if I swam I had my choice I could either get on my knees and wet my lips or have shit i.e., human feces, thrown at me. Well, unfortunately I swam after a short stressful work over in a hole. No body wanted to take off their dry suit to shit and fortunately the water was pretty cold, so there was no need for me to get on my knees. Boater's are the best class of folks that I've ever met, threaten to throw shit at you but at the end of the day, smoke you out and give you a pbr and a pat on the back and say something like, man I thought you were really going to die there. Trouble is they actually mean what they say, so you never know when you're going to have to take one for the team.
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