Pop a duckie
Oh, hey guys. Sorry, I didn't notice this thread. Guess I was too busy polishing my Evan Garcia doll (if you know what I mean...). Good to hear everybody's still stoked on me, but if you thought 2011 was amazing, wait till you see me in 2012. Some people need to learn that being the best kayaker isn't just about completing every run in the Tom Janney Guide to California Class III 50 footers. Yeah, Sean Lee was sicker than me, but I've been watching and learning his ways and ready to make some major improvements.
Step 1: Image. Once I lose a little more hairline I'm going to shave all that shit off.
Step 2: Talk the talk. Call out old school class V boaters for being pussies at any opportunity. Anyone who leans back onto their deck to boof is fair game, so is Gary E, apparently.
Step 3: Get sponsored: Gotta pimp myself out to CKS for a free hat.
Step 4: Swim in the First Falls on Bailey. All the sickest kayakers are doing it.
Ok, I can't give away all my secrets, but stay tuned because 2012 is going to be a huckin huge year. I'll be training all winter by swimming under every ice bridge on the Ark. I predict nothing but Kevins on the podium at the Poudre Gnarrows race this year.
- The Greatest