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Is splatting commercial rafts ok???

4K views 20 replies 16 participants last post by  stinginrivers 
#1 ·
Clearly a bit of a joke, but on flatwater stretches my PBR fed primal urge has been pushing me to splat the confused gaping rafters. I've heard different takes on the etiquit (can't even spell that one). It's not dangerous, but I can see the raft guides getting pissed. But we take it when they run us over, so why not.

What does the community think? And if OK, why not make it a new form of river etiquit (again, spell) :p
 
#7 ·
I am going to have to go with your dad on this one, here would be my method:

1. Splat that raft!!
2. Bow stall up on it and check out the chicken!
3. Wink!
4. Yell "Tip that sexy guide!!!"
5. Meet the crew at the takeout and meet that tasty passenger!
6. Collect your free beer at the local pub that night from your highly tipped guide!!
7. Find that tourist and get your big tip!!!!!
8. Repeat!

That should work just fine.
 
#11 ·
So if your a rafter and not a kayaker and feel left out, then splat big rocks in your raft and give you customers a good ride. Personal fav is pineview splat above 3.5 for all you poudre guides, really gives your customers something to remember!!! Plus your tips get bigger when they fall out and you "save" their lives and pull them back in.

Thoughts of wisdom - P the K
 
#12 ·
I've hosed down commercial custys with a water cannon before but now that I know its OK to REALLY splat them I'll start reaching for that soggy half tomato left over from lunch!

As for rafts actually splatting, there's a good rock just before the Hectic takeout on R Right where I've been in a paddle boat and we all got into the back and splatted the rock in a raft. It was a fun move going WAAAY up on the rock and the newbies in the group got a real kick out of it.

-Andy (the rafter)
 
#13 ·
Andy the rafter, I also recomend the killer bridge splat if your ever on the poudre, so at the end of the rapid be right going left and try to splat the pillar, it's a great move. Good one too old friend with the water cannon!!! Your feller rafters probably never see it coming, try the mystery guide move sometime as well, this one goes like this.

1. Aim for a big rock in the middle of the river
2. Just miss it and jump from your raft to the rock
3. Sit there and watch your customers raft with no guide!!!
4. Meet everyone at the take out

Trust me when your crew realizes that they successfully navigated the river without you you'll get a huge tip, and if they pin or flip they will have so much fun which will alos lead to a big tip, either way you cannot lose and you dont have to work hard guiding and telling stupid stories!!!
 
#14 ·
As long as you don't hit the custies I say go for it. Splatting the bow of my boat would be fairly impressive.

Speaking of rafts doing rock splats - were were running Slaughterhouse last summer following a commercial trip. The owner of the company, his daughter, and another guy were in a mini-me behind us. In one of the drops he splatted a bit too big, flipped the boat, and went on a swim. I rescued his daughter who was so used to swimming that in the middle of a class IV rapid she was holding her paddle, a dry bag, and swimming like it was her bathtub. When I hit her with the throw rope she calmly shifted the paddle to the hand with the dry bag, then grabbed the rope a few seconds later despite the fact another rapid was right below us. She was completely unfazed. Apparently rock splatting is a common activity on Slaughterhouse. Or maybe her Dad just flips a lot. Either way you gotta love a girl that keeps her composure during and after a swim.
 
#19 ·
ok...

This is what I've learned so far.

Splating commercial rafts is not only ok, it will win me praise from guides. Further, I must try to kiss attractive females in the raft while I am in a bow stall, and I can feel free to throw refuse at passing rafters...and if I am feeling especially ballsy I can try to land in the raft when the oppurtunity presents itself.

Awesome. From now on this should be part of our river etiquit: further,,, not splatting commercial rafts is rude, and could leave them feeling left out and unwelcomed on the river. I've now found something to entertain me during flat water stretches. And if any hot headed guide gives me greif for my exploits I will fight back and refrence mountainbuzz as the authoritative voice in this realm.

The only thing left to due is attempt to steal their PBR while splatting and kissing the attractive clients. It's gonna be a fun summer...Thanks all:mrgreen:
 
#20 ·
PBR on commercial boats? Whcih outfitter is that? That sounds like my style of guiding! Yes, I agree to be cool to you so long as you say "it's common practice tip your guide some Benjimans! Don't be a stingy bastard" Bonus points if you tell them that their guide is "famous in these parts, best guide on the river" or whatever. If you do that, we'll tell the Betties that you are a well known pro kayaker/model sponsored by Trojan Magnums.
 
#21 ·
When I was driving rubber buses down the river I used to ask kayakers to splat my raft for my own entertainment. I only ever had a few oblige...

Splatting your own raft is indeed a necesary part of boating. That is why a lot of rafts are now coating their bottoms with urethane this makes the rafts slide up rocks better.

Andy I agree, that rock above hecla is good for backloading and splatting away. Pillow is great, as well as postage due. There is a rock below the gorge above grape creek I think on river left at lower water is a great splat, have seen many overzealous guides turn them over there.

Have fun out there, and keep your grubby kayaker hands off my beer, but I guess if you can grab it while splatting you are more than welcome to a cold one.
 
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