great colorado runs - Mountain Buzz

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Old 04-12-2007   #1
Gary E's Avatar
Jackson, Wyoming
Paddling Since: 94
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great colorado runs

Let's start in choads zone

vallecito 1 mile-18 minutes

2nd gorge of lime-267 yards, 2 ankle deep water portages 1 hour of tailbone on rock-13 minutes of the goods

lower rock- picks up after the d town gets 2 weeks of mile runs, not bad.

west branch-long day chasing choads gear

treasure-short window, worthy.

obj-fun 1 mile-16 minutes

crystal gorge- 1.5 mile 26 minutes drive to put in 26 minutes from beaver

escalante-good run for 1 week-front rangers always leading the way

barrell over 6g's- most of the western folk avoid like plague, scared little bitches

homesteak-80 cfs, hobie this is not a descent, never runs. 3/4 mile 7 minutes

cross creek- too many scared vail paddlers to clean that shit. Could be one to brag about if vail wasn't so scared.

Can't even count steamboat. They can't even clean their runs to paddle them. Do they have kayakers up there since WS left? Oh and Hey Nick.

Front Range-
Start with poudre narrows-longer and better rapids than 70% of miles shown above. I'll go ahead and leave big south off just because you westerners will cry way too loud and want to claim it.First D- front range!

USB- 3 miles, min 1 hr at, to high of flows for the west to show for. Runs 2 months

Eldo-3/4 mile 25 minutes

NSV-Min 7 hrs, pounds west slopers like their 13 yr old thai babies. Cali section IS the best 3 miles of whitewater in Colorado

SSV-Action from first stroke. 1 hr min

upper boulder creek-sickest stretch!!!!

Source-1 3/4 mile time depending on flow. Most slopers take 35 minutes and skip the upper run with a crankin flow of 200

west fork clear- stompin slopers like big foot

Black rock cc-great h2o run with challenge

Bear-great miles with 300 or more

Bailey-one of the staple CO runs. Slopers might like this more if you didn't walk the good ones

Cheeseman-min 4hrs of hatefull drops. No portages, good clean fun. Think I saw a slopers boat pointing the way he walked out last time I was there.

Bottom line is, the front range has hotter woman, colder beer, meaner runs, top notch mtn biking and the best climbing in the state. So don't hate on us cause we show up to your side to take you kayaking to warm up for our shit. Just be happy we say "sure you can come with us" and we only expect a beer to grab your yard sale. Chunderboy, started "go back to the front range", than realized this is where the players are, and moved here. Don't player hate cause the city folk stomp your shit all year. Peace out, no player hating here, I think all you slopers suck!


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Old 04-12-2007   #2
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Denver, Colorado
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You forgot the most dangerous run in the state is also on the Front Range too. We're talking some seriously scary shit! A roll in this short run could result in the most serious of consequences. No Westerner would even put a pinky in water, don't know many Front Rangers who would either... Confluence Park of course. Well, possibly more dangerous for your offspring.
"I think I handled my alcohol pretty well considering how drunk I was." -Cousin Dan
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Old 04-12-2007   #3
no tengo
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Baytopia, Colorado
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yeah front range is where its at for sure. anyone thinking of moving to colorado should definitely move there. nothing to see over here. thanks gary!
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Old 04-12-2007   #4
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The Chunderboy moved to the front range so he could rest. After he broke his neck running the Shiat with the WEST SLOPE CREW he knew the only place he could take the time he needed to regain his former strength was with the hot women and soft cocks found on the front range. He knew he would not be pushed amongst all the pansies and play boating scum found on the eastern slope. With the instantaneous insight and knowledge that only the Chunder possessed he immediately knew the front range was good for only two things. The taking of hot women, trapped between wanting a good paying job and their longing for the mountains and real men, and paragliding the dry winds who’s water had been lost to the more moisture rich western slope. Granted he had tried climbing in Eldo but he confessed that the hippies and spandex clad office warriors of boulder were just too much. “I might start climbing once I finish my recovery stint and get the hell out of here” he told me. He had heard stories of the Legendary Indian Creek, a mere 2 hours from Durango and a place that blew Eldo the f$#*k out of the water. The big walls and the summer climbing paradise of Ouray were just being discovered then too, all of which was just practice for the Black Canyon, with the biggest walls next to Yosemite in the lower 48.
The Chunderboy knew where the good shit was, just be happy that he graced you with his presence while shagging your deprived women and patting you on the back while you ran “the good ones” at Bailey. Laughing under his breath that you actually got out of your boat to scout such ridiculous shit as a 5ft drop with a little pinch. “It’s like a whole different world down here” he said, “I’ve never seen so many people living in denial. Paddlers get all fired up for the two or so measly weeks this place has any decent flow, to paddle complete crap like the source and clear creek. This place has three runs worth a dam, Cheesman, NSV and USB, and USB only gets in because the surrounding runs are such crap. But you know what the funniest thing is”, Chunder said, “it’s that they named their only really good stretch of river “The California Section” because they were so amazed it wasn’t the complete mankshitfest!!!! that they were used to, they thought it was like being in another state. They even made it illegal to paddle just so they could keep boaters from knowing what it felt like to paddle a good stretch of water”.
Just be happy the Chunderboy graced you Front Range Bitches with his presence long enough to slip in and give your girls the taste of some real dick, while you were stuffed in you office cubicles dreaming about the time your nut sacks would grow big enough to run “The Pinch” on Bailey like Gary Edgworth does.
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Old 04-13-2007   #5
placerville, Colorado
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boating aside, any and every idiot knows the overall quality of life is great on the front range when compared to the western slope. a lot of my friends and I are continuously brainstorming ways to leave the butte, telluride, d-go, etc., and really make it happen on the range. when I ran bear creek right after escalante early this season, I knew the deal was sealed.
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Old 04-13-2007   #6
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GE you forgot South Fork South Saint Vrain and Clear Creek Bakersville to G-town.
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Old 04-13-2007   #7
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By the way, those sections above Georgetown are something I've been wanting to look at. Anyone have any good beta? I've heard there's a few pretty stout rapids up there. Thanks.

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Old 04-13-2007   #8
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I ran from Bakersville down 4-5 years ago and it was solid V - V+ in my book. One real good drop before Silverplum you can see from 70 that has a big must make boof a couple of fish ladder type things (real fun ) then a long rapid into a tunnel V-that goes under 70 and your in Silverplum. The drop right after the Silverplum was very scary looking (walked) the drop as you get into G-town was serious and long but high quality gnar. Real scary low bridges in G-town.

You can scout everything but eddies are hard to find. It is well worth a look cold as hell. Out of my league now
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Old 04-13-2007   #9
Join Date: Oct 2003
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It's true the fronte range would be perfect for you, they are much more excepting of homosexuals down there. I really hope you and your friend Bruce can "make it happen".
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Old 04-13-2007   #10
Join Date: May 2005
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Sexual orientation has nothing to do with boating skills. Please use some better vocabulary in your flames. Say what you mean and mean what you say. You are perpetuating a mis-representation of a population you obviously know nothing about.
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