Gore Rules! - Mountain Buzz
 



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Old 09-02-2013   #1
 
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Lyons, Colorado
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Gore Rules!

Need I say more?

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Old 09-03-2013   #2
 
Durango, Colorado
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Some people like to kayak; and some people love to kayak!
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Old 09-03-2013   #3
 
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Well said
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Old 09-03-2013   #4
 
Denver, Colorado
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Yep. Gore is awesome. Love it!
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Old 09-03-2013   #5
KSC
 
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Yes, please say more.
Question: Why do people go to low water Bailey when Gore is running with 5x the flow?
Question: Why do people say Bailey is better than Gore?
Question: Why do people go to Gore and only run 1 lap?
Question: Why has Bank been absent from Gore 2x this year when I've been there?
Question: Why don't more chumps join the Gore race so I can feel better about myself?
Question: Why don't I live in Washington where there are Gores 10 miles in every direction?

Need I ask more?
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Old 09-04-2013   #6
 
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Haha, we got on Robe last Friday and then it dropped out. We were forced into a float plane to an alpine lake high in British Columbia and a 3 day wilderness class V paddle out. Time to re-locate!
Joe
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Old 09-04-2013   #7
 
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So does that mean that there will be lost of people at Gore this weekend???????
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Old 09-04-2013   #8
 
Denver, Colorado
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Question: Why do people go to low water Bailey when Gore is running with 5x the flow?
Answer: They probably suck at math and think its called Baileys, so its a high expectation to think they know that gore is better at current flows

Question: Why do people say Bailey is better than Gore?
Answer: Because sometimes it is, but mainly because kayakers are loudmouths with unsubstantiated opinions.

Question: Why do people go to Gore and only run 1 lap?
Answer a Question with a Question: Why do two run chumps not step up and run 3 laps like the real boulder overachievers of the good ole days?

Question: Why has Bank been absent from Gore 2x this year when I've been there?
Answer: This is totally unacceptable. Gore protocol states that Bank must be there. A congressional inquiry will be convened.

Question: Why don't more chumps join the Gore race so I can feel better about myself?
Answer: You have successfully fulfilled the chump catergory quota in the race already. Chumps under 8 feet that is. The over 8ft chump category is still wide open.

Question: Why don't I live in Washington where there are Gores 10 miles in every direction?
Answer: Probably has something to do with the answer to the last question.
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Old 09-04-2013   #9
 
Longmont, Colorado
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jmack View Post
Some people like to kayak; and some people love to kayak!
YES^^^^
Joe, that sucks, no roadside rock blast? Was there even any whitewater?
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Old 09-04-2013   #10
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I'm sorry, I believe I completely misinterpreted this topic. Here are mine.

Gore Rule #1:
You do not talk about Gore.

Gore Rule #2:
All first timers must run the slide backwards.

Gore Rule #3:
No complaining on the paddle in about flat water, wind, or cold weather.

Gore Rule #4:
All bald eagles, pelicans, river otters, beavers, moose, and bear must be vigorously pointed at and remarked about effusively.

Gore Rule #5:
No excessive public displays of urination at the gear up eddy.

Gore Rule #6:
All paddlers must boof the rock at the bottom of the first rapid.

Gore Rule #7:
Don’t follow Brian down the left line on Applesauce.

Gore Rule #8:
Surf the wave after Applesauce, but don’t be a wave hog. When rushed, wave wheels are acceptable.

Gore Rule #9:
Real men don’t run the sneak, but smart say they do Mary Ann. Real women aim for the sneak, ferry across the entire horizon line and run the meat straight into Ginger. Smart women do the same.

Gore Rule #10:
Sneak the Scissors hole and catch the eddy on the right. Use the excuse that you don’t run the hole because you like to eddy hop.

Gore Rule #11:
Catch the micro eddy on river left above Pyrite and then sneak the hole to the left. Use the excuse that you don’t run the hole because you like to eddy hop.

Gore Rule #12:
Don’t swim in the class III. Yeah, I'm talking to you!

Gore Rule #13:
Follow Brian’s lines all the way to Tunnel.

Gore Rule #14:
No swimming at Tunnel. Extra points for freestyle moves.

Gore Rule #15:
Ridicule all boaters who swim in the pool below Tunnel.

Gore Rule #16:
If you sneak Toilet Bowl, go left! No, more left, more left!

Gore Rule #17:
Never run Kirshbaum the same way twice.

Gore Rule #18:
Take a break at the Steamboat picnic area.

Gore Rule #19:
Practice hand rolls in the pools at the end while ridiculing people who swam in the pool below Tunnel and asking where the new play wave will be.

Gore Rule #20:
Drive back up and do it again!
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