Gnarrows Race... oh so close - Mountain Buzz

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Old 07-18-2007   #1
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 157
Gnarrows Race... oh so close

So the flows are droppin and everyone is itching to get after this belt buckle, especially Leif's mom, well my boof and my woman is poppin....

so a call out is in order.

is there anyone down there that can race? It is nice to have Fred up here, but he just runs clean up for safety reasons. Cutch, your first run down the narrows will be a fun race, for Fred. SuperDuckey, you better bring your cape, you'll need it.
Pagel, I know we used to race with Zinn at 4 feet for the f_ of it, but now its formal and we need some nastalgia for the young guys.

Wiggler come on up, we haven't had representation from Boulder since Crash was here in 99' Maybe the Craw will bring it home for you guys..

Mountain Boys and West Slopers...
Don't bother... Although we will give you guys a free six pack of the goods for showing up and competing in the heats, so you have something to enjoy during the finals.

I am somewhat nervous about you all, however there are sieves, undercuts, hydraulics and boofs to contend with, so no, not really.

Paul the Premature... you posted to early about this and just like last year you will probably blow your wad in uppers.
Leif, I like chocolate, so bring a cooler full of ice cream for the after party.
Dotcom, please schedule a video crew, so that I can get a shot in your new online guidebook, titled "he does it again".
Lotsa.. do you even count.. you'll be to busy talking about leif's mom on the side.
Rando, don't bring the kids, they think their dad is tough, you don't want to shatter that for them.
yourrealsad, bring your hotpants, floaties, motor, whatever you need, but the cougars won't be asking about any bling on your waist.
Francois, with this field,your second place is wrapped up for you.

others that I missed, dont' be offended... this race field is full of a bunch of choads anway.

so.. last year it was August 30th and 1.5 on the gauge and good times. This year is not looking so great for that date. But I hope we are wrong. Regardless we are shooting for 2 feet. Yesterday was 2.25...
We could be racing Friday, or next week.. hopefully later... hard to say.. But as always stay tuned... we hope to give a day or two warning...

Rally your women ( I like the attention) and grab some friends to set safety.

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Old 07-18-2007   #2
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 273
Not with my Lady on my side!

Don't make me puke. It was a fluke last year and you know it. We just didn't want you to cry in front of your little girl.

Rando, you are going to look sooo good in that mushtasche!

This year I have a seceret weapon!
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hey diddle diddle...
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Old 07-18-2007   #3
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185 lb. waste of space, Keeping Glenwood Springs real
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Seeing as how I had to run the gnar of the filter last year, can we wait until I get back from cougar catching in Las Vegas? I get back on Tues. Race on Wed maybe. I mean I will be sort of tired from all those women that look like Leif's mom but charge almost twice as much, but I still think I can pull the win out.

Ol' JJ the cougars won't be attracted to the belt buckle, I use the belt to blind them and then run away, it is the only way I can keep all those Rio women away. I did shave the stache, but the doesn't seem to help, they just keep coming (in more ways than one).
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Old 07-18-2007   #4
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Fort Collins, Colorado
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Well well well, here we are getting ready for another race which it seems you were all scared to do at 3 feet when I posted last. And let me tell you old man river, uppers was actually changed to "Paul's Fun Land" because of the english I have been putting down on it, and last year, go ahead look at the pictures, that was me NASA styling the air move over Lief's capsized craft. I just didnít want to embarrass you by beating you from the second heat, I had to stop and surf for a few minutes when I saw you at the groover! And this year while I am walking back up to the top of lowers having all my gear carried by my escort of your friends I will point down to you and laugh when your doing the airplane move because the real line makes you pee your bed at night! I already have the display case on my mantel and the leather to strap that thing to my waist so lets stop all this and just hand it over now, stay home with the wife and kids and avoid all the embarrassment that comes with knowing the arthritis wont let you get out of the starting eddy.

Paul the Kayaker/Winner/Champ/Agent/BuckleWearer/BoofMaster/GoldMetalist/BlueRibbonHolder/Ronto

You can pick one!

"Ignition in 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1...We have take off!!"
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Old 07-18-2007   #5
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Is the race from the Upper through the Lower?? Never really heard of where it starts from. Stoked to get in there, but hopefully it's not actually going to be on the 1st of August... If so I am out of town.

Any chance of doing it on the 30th?
"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body. But rather...To skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming... WOW !!!! What a ride!!!!!!"
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Old 07-19-2007   #6
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,303
I'm out of commision from July 24th to the 30th. After that I can probably spend one day to actually paddle the narrows. Just during comp. The strategy is to follow the lead guy so he shows you all of the lines, and then use the stern bump spin-out manuever to take the win. Or just wait for him to pull the patented poudre boof, and boof over him while he surfs the hole.

Fred and I are fresh off a 14 second win.

In the words of House of Pain, "Pack it up pack it in, let me begin, I came to win, battle me that's a sin."
Kyle McCutchen
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Old 07-19-2007   #7
Join Date: Nov 2003
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Pete does have a pretty good secret weapon...
Kyle McCutchen
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Old 07-19-2007   #8
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Join Date: Oct 2003
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The council has convened and the race is tentatively scheduled for next Thursday, July 26 at 6pm. IF YOU WANT TO RACE BAD AND YOU CAN"T RACE ON JULY 26 YOU BEST TO SPEAK UP NOW.

This is not an official race. There might be safety but we don't determine the rules until the racers meeting at Lower Narrows on the day of the race. There are no cash prizes. Second place will receive an unidentified amount of bitchathane. First place will of course wear the buckle. I don't need to call you out. You know who you are. Gnarrows Race, second annual. Get it on.

Switchback - we must have been posting at the same time. You're already the first voice of dissent but we can't wait that long or the water *might* be too low. Gonna have to cancel teh float trip. And I think there is going to be um more than four competitors and no teams, although you and Fred might as well be a team, as JJ mentioned, running clean-up, for safety of course.
Evan Stafford
Cub boater: "What do the spiders mean?" Old fart boater: "Trust your intuition." CRCII
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Old 07-19-2007   #9
Join Date: Nov 2003
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Berckalter, I mean Stafford your going to lose. See dates above.
Kyle McCutchen
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Old 07-19-2007   #10
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I'm with Cutch. Gonna be on Cataract the 26th to the 1st, but maybe you all should go ahead with the tentative date so you don't have to face up to the bouldenver ownage that is bound to occur otherwise.

DT holerider
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