Fucked up Shit People Do - Mountain Buzz

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Old 09-01-2006   #1
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 254
Fucked up Shit People Do

OK - since flows have dropped, and my viewing of the buzz has not, i thought this might be a good time for this post, as colorado action seems to be waining, and the only thing catching my eye on the buzz lately is milo's m-box affair -

so last weekend, while hoping for N. Fork flows to bump up, i found myself down at waterton with a couple of my cohorts. I'll keep them unidentified for their own protection, as you will see if you keep reading. Needless to say, they both also spend way too much time on the buzz. Especially the culprit of this post....

So up above green bridge, while i'm waiting for my 2 bros to make their way down, i start reflecting on what a cool season it has been, and how much i've been enjoying exploring the colo. whitewater. Bro #1 eventually makes his way down, and joins me in a bid eddy, and we begin chatting and waiting for bro #2.

We can just see bro #2 from our eddy, and eventually see bro #2 get out of his boat...We begin to wonder what he's doing, and eventually see him get back in his boat, and make his way down to us.

Come to find out that bro #2 ate too many beer brats the night before, and has to take an emergency crap. So instead of walking off into the woods somewhere, he craps right in the water, so he can get "a little water cleaning" - now remember, bro #2 is upstream of us, and obviously aware that we are below (downstream) - as i begin to explicate my utter disgust and disapproval, bro #2 insists that his crap is stuck in an eddy, and won't flush out till water levels change.

Now before all the tree-huggers get their panties in a wad, i think we all realize that we shouldn't be crapping in the water for env. reasons, and that was definately part of my problem with whole affair, but obviously, my more immedate concern was the turd flowing downstream near me, and the general idea of wanting to stay away from crap.

So at this point, me and bro #1 are thorougly disgusted, but continue down and finish our run. Shitty thing is, at one point i end up SWALLOWING some of the water as my smile becomes a literal "shit eating grin".....

can't wait for giardia....

so as i contemplate this nastiness, i'm left wondering, what other f'd up shit have your paddling bros been doing this season....

and please have more balls than me and call them out while you are at it. perhaps the mysterious bro#2 will self identify himself as the waterton crapper.


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Old 09-01-2006   #2
Gnarnia, Colorado
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 659
that is weak. very weak. carry a wag bag in your boat for those emergencies. http://thepett.com/ shitting in the water is as lame as it gets.

we all live downstream...
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Old 09-01-2006   #3
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 2
shit people do

what about the next guy who swims in that crap filled eddie?? I hope it is Bro #2 who obviously needs a few lessons and some shit water in his mouth. Not cool!!
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Old 09-01-2006   #4
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 76
I prefer that spackle/spray mud method while in the drink as it diffuses more readily. I also prefer at the end of a trip to empty full groovers into the river to flow downstream-why pay to empty it at a RV camp?

This way we all become immune to the E-Coli and our systems are stronger because of it. I'm all about making the species stronger.
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Old 09-01-2006   #5
Andy H.'s Avatar
Wheat Ridge, Colorado
Paddling Since: 1995
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 3,709

So much for the assumption that all boaters have a sense of environmental awareness...

In addition to the Pett bags, Downriver Equipment has "Restop 2" bags for $3 each. They're just like the Pett - each bag comes with some TP, hand sanitizer, will hold a couple of dumps and should even fit into a playboat (and be nice and warm!). They've got a powder that reacts turning the poop into a gel and the sealed bag 'O poop can be disposed of in the trash can.

I've always got one in my both my raft and my car just in case of an emergency.

Don - do you carry anything like these at Confluence?
Nothing in the world is more yielding and gentle than water. Yet it has no equal for conquering the resistant and tough. The flexible can overcome the unbending; the soft can overcome the hard. - Lao Tse
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Old 09-01-2006   #6
Join Date: Jun 2006
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Great point Andy, and if any of you have seen the Pet bags after use you can use them as a foot warmer or a pillow!
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Old 09-01-2006   #7
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Technology Partner, Littleton, Colorado
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This is absolutely shitty, no pun intended. What kind of horse's ass would do something like that. I hope the asshole that shat in the eddy reads this. He's a completely gutless moron. Carry a freaking wal-mart bag or something, do it in the woods. Use a plant to wipe your sorry ass. Have you ever heard of E. Coli? Cholera? What a complete was of human organs....
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Old 09-01-2006   #8
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 254

ok ok ok - i think we all get the point - crapping in water bad....

but you're all missing the point here (teamamerica not included) - lets have some other stories! -

am i the only one that boats with dudes who do weird shit?
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Old 09-01-2006   #9
pnw, Colorado
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 3,408
I dont think I would boat with someone who shits in the river.
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Old 09-01-2006   #10
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 49
Your story is so gross, I don't think anyone wants to put their story up with that.

Let's not be too hard on the crapper. He probably wasn't thinking straight and really had to go. If he does it again, rip him to shreds.
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