Conversation on a Vail Ski Lift, circa 1990:
<skiers load, 2 colorado college students and two middle aged Texas men>
Texas 1: Hey! Where y'all from?
Fat Mat: We're in school down in the Springs.
Texas 2: So yer from Colorado?
Fat Mat: No, I'm orginally from Wisconsin.
Texas 1: Ain't that the capital of Chicago?
Fat Mat: ...Yes, it is.
<chit chat about the weather ensues, retardation is confirmed>
Fat Mat: Say, are you guys packing heat?
Texas 1: What, like a pistol er somthin'?
Fat Mat <deadpan>: Yeah, of course.
Texas 2: Well, what the hell fer?
Fat Mat: For the Lift-Jackings, of course.
Texas 1&2: What?!?
Fat Mat: Yeah, Vail's been trying to keep it quiet because it's been a problem this season. Guys get on the lift with you and rob you while you're 50 feet up, and then ski off at the top before you can tell anyone.
Taxas 2: NO SHIT!?
Fat Mat: Yep. That's why I'm packin'. Him too.
Me: Damn Right. <mumbling, cause I'm hiding my face inside my jacket to not show my laughter>
Texas 1: Goddam Thieves. <Racially biased observations ensue while we sit quietly>
<Top of Lift>
Texas 1: Thanks for the Tip! I ain't coming back here without my piece!
Fat Mat: Keep yer Powder Dry! <exit asshole CO skiers, likely responsible for armed Texas skiers patrolling the lifts at Vail for seasons to come>