Personally, I prefer the stairmaster. It really firms my buttocks so the paddling doesn't hurt as much. You want it to hurt...but hurt good, dig?
...and bend...and stretch...and bend...and stretch...and bend...and stretch
I hope in the future Americans are thought of as a warlike, vicious people, because I bet a lot of high schools would pick "Americans" as their mascot. -Jack Handy