ACCU-GNAR BROADCASTING - Mountain Buzz
 



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Old 05-19-2011   #1
 
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crested butte, Colorado
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ACCU-GNAR BROADCASTING

Hello my fellow kayakers, rafters, tubers and duckiers. Dick Cocktoastin here and I've just arrived in COLORADO after a long stint in MEXICO. I was trying to infiltrate the drug gangs to get an up-to-date story on the GNARLY happenings down there. I was NOT disappointed! It was totally gnarly. Anyhow, I showed up unexpectedly at my old friend Milo's place to find him under his bed. He was half snoring, half crying, so I decided to leave him alone(after cleaning up all the match-box cars) and check out the buzz. It's been awhile so here I am. As you all know, I purchased my own radio tower and am very excited about the high water to come. I already know what you have "under" your belt(male-female reproductive organs). I want to hear what GNAR you've already experienced, will experience, watched others experience etc. I am expecting a full report from the 303 on the problems at Escalante Creek, have already read the full report from the Durango crew's trip down the Black Canyon of the Gunnison River, have watched video of Pandoras, just read about Brown clawing on Lens Creek on Vantasy Island and am expecting a full report from my junior gnar reporter Thomas Jeney and his runs down Goar Canyon of the Colorado River. I expect full reports from any and all of you river players. I am looking to broadcast a full story about gnarly people doing gnarly things on my new show, "FEAR OF THE BROWN CLAW". It will air as often as possible throughout the high water season. I hope my dear friend KYMEAT aka Will Lyons will keep me posted on
gnarly events out east. I just had my other junior-broadcaster Jakub Nemec phone in with some tales of super gnar. I just heard Milo take a piss so I guess he's out of his hiding place. Great to be back in the ole US of A. Your pal, DICK COCKTOASTIN, accu-gnar braodcaster

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Old 05-19-2011   #2
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N. Cascades, Washington
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Do..not..like..new and "improved"..advanced accu-gnar broadcasts...ps.bring back old..accu gnar..live broadcasts...new broadcasts too hard to decipher.

pss....I rolled in the gnarrows this morning...it was cold...not too gnar...overandout..puffntoughpoudreranger420.
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Old 05-19-2011   #3
 
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Copper Mountain, Colorado
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I'll fill you in a little bit there Dick, Took a Large Burn to the temple area in Waterslide about 2 weeks ago. 3 facial fractures and a mild concussion, very surprising it wasn't more(I'll give you the whole story over a few beers at obj this summer). A full week of narcotic induced R&R and a new full face has been enough to get me back on the water though. SSV this weekend anyone?
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Old 05-19-2011   #4
 
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Bozeman, Montana
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Ohh snap, that sounds painful. Was it a knock out?
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Old 05-19-2011   #5
 
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No knockout, some serious downtime after the hit though.
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Old 05-19-2011   #6
 
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Wolcott, Colorado
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You should have been wearing a farmer john!
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Old 05-19-2011   #7
 
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Bozeman, Montana
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That and portage more flatwater...

I will call you tomarrow justin..
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