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Old 02-11-2015   #111
I broke another paddle
Indio, California
Paddling Since: 2011
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 8
Send a message via Skype™ to Elkhermes
I'd have to concur with busy take outs with ramp hogs. Tempers get way too short at take out. I've seen more fist fights on a Saturday afternoon on a boat ramp than a dive bar sees on a major holiday weekend.

3 weeks ago on a trip on the lower Colorado a Sarah Palin lookalike stole my chair. Damn it, get out of my chair and quit trying to look at Russia from your house.

Clueless Boy Scout troops that hog the put in and grab my dry bags to pack on their boats and forget their own gear on shore
The same Boy Scout Troop whose adult leaders and scouts who start screwing with my kayak while they are waiting to get on the river.

Inexperienced adults with no training taking a bunch of kids down a river and then freaking out when the weather turns bad and the s*** hits the fan. They lost some of their group. We sure saved their asses that day.

The Sarah Palin lookalike throwing ALL the wood on the fire, insisting on taking pictures in your face for her facebook when you're trying to cook the group dinner, and dammit give me back my chair.

Everyone turning in early just to get away from the drunk guy annoying everyone at the campfire. Drunk guy and Sarah Palin lookalike just chatted up a storm that night.

Batshit drunk duck hunters shooting fireworks at me when I was on day 17 and mile 307 of a charity paddle. They thought I was an animal rights activist scaring away the ducks.

Campsite poachers that insist that they reserved the whole beach.

Born again evengelicals with a guitar.

And last but not least, the person who is not the trip leader but wants to be really really really bad. Quite often they throw a fit that can be both annoying and amusing.

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Old 02-12-2015   #112
Salt Lake City, Utah
Paddling Since: 2008
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 337
The boastful "minimalist" that likes to tell everbody to let go of their possessions and enjoy the river more "naturally." Then at the put in, they ask you to put some of their stuff in your boat. Later, they are riding on your boat while their SUP is strapped to the back of your boat flapping in the wind.

The same boastful "minimalist" that enjoys a tiny car that gets 50 mpg but can't contribute to hauling the gear that they use. Nobody wants 13 mpg, but somebody has to do it.

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Old 02-12-2015   #113
The Box, ~
Paddling Since: 1992
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 199
Foul water containers. The group member that stored away their water containers after the last trip of last season without drying them out first. After nine-months of moister festering garage storage, they just open them and fill them up with the garden hose without a clue what the effect will be to the group on a week long trip.

Sour stomach and burps that came close to projectile a few times during the week long trip.

I always dry out my containers before storing and still lightly disinfect them before filling with filtered water before a trip. I now always insist on at least providing my own water.
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Old 02-12-2015   #114
pocatello, Idaho
Paddling Since: 1991
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 471
After an August Middle Fork Salmon solo trip I pulled up to cache bar ramp. Cache has 4 car slots- 2 on 2 runways. I pulled up and there was 1 group there. Everywhere. I was tired. I had to go home and renovate a kitchen to make up for my trip. The group had some river drama and weren't speaking. Each of the 4 vehicles and boats refused to make room. They weren't helping each other. The kids/teens were fishing and swimming.
I had to sit in the eddy for 2 hours while a bunch of douchebags waited for straps to dry and roll them one by one. When there was finally room I threw my boat on my truck and was gone in 5 minutes.
I understand your straps need to be dried and rolled and sorted by size/color/texture in order for the world to continue rotating. But don't do it when there is a line.

I am a tyrant at camp when I am TL. Nobody gets a campsite until the group gear is dealt with. IF you drop your drybag on a prime spot before the kitchen is carried up you and I have issues. Have your drybag sealed and delivered to the right boat well before launch. Do the chores you are assigned.
Don't go for a 2 hour hike on your cook night at 5pm.


Don't like it? Find a different trip. You being on my trip is not mandatory for me. I didn't come on vacation to haul your junk up the beach while you fish.

Luckily I have a like minded crew. We invite new people regularly, about half make the cut for an invitation in the future. Having a fair number of people on the trip who know the routine and culture really helps.

Day trips are different. I have less stuff on the line and mo mandatory miles to make. there is much less weight to be pulled.
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Old 02-12-2015   #115
Old Guy in a PFD
Tucson, Arizona
Paddling Since: 1967
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,022
1. Never, ever take the last beer.
2. If you must play music use headphones or keep it down. Way down.
3. Share.
4. At all times be clean, reverent and polite.
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Old 02-12-2015   #116
DesertRatonIce's Avatar
Buena Vista, Colorado
Paddling Since: 1982
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 217
I am reading people's rules for their trips. You get a whole range of attitudes from just don't drown and we are cool to do what I say or else. I hardly would enjoy either end of the range. I think I am somewhere in the middle.

Woke up this morning at 10:13.
A hole so big, it sucked the leaves off the tree.
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Old 02-12-2015   #117
Redmond, Oregon
Paddling Since: 1973
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,031
Originally Posted by Schutzie View Post
1. Never, ever take the last beer.
2. If you must play music use headphones or keep it down. Way down.
3. Share.
4. At all times be clean, reverent and polite.
You can take the last beer if obviously you bring more than consume and are not driving or rowing while impaired.
√ Use headphones & keep it down. Way down.
√ Share.
√ Be clean, reverent and polite.
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Old 02-12-2015   #118
Bismarck, North Dakota
Paddling Since: 2012
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 207
This could very well be a Dr Phil show, sounds like i'm gonna have fun if I quit my meds 2 weeks before a trip!
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Old 02-12-2015   #119
Donkey Punch
dfresh's Avatar
Southwest, Colorado
Paddling Since: 2000
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 78
1. I bring a boombox, batteries to power it for a month, it never gets turned off, and it's only playing Kenny Loggins.
2. I'm usually drunk before I get on the river.
3. I have a tendency of taking my clothes off at night and passing out but naked by the fire, or in your boat next to your cooler where I was drunkinly scavenging for beers that night.

And last but no least

4. I hide everyone's chairs at night in my tent before I blackout.
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Old 02-12-2015   #120
Newman Lake, Washington
Paddling Since: 2010
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 84
You don't use the cooler for a groover!?

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