but seriously get grip you pansy. if you aren't the mammory lactating rafter than whats your deal?
So there I was, minding my own bidness here on The Buzz, when this guy from Wyoming blurts out that I'm a "mammory lactating rafter". Well I kinda chuckled to myself, but before I stopped laughing, I started lactating all over my keyboard! Even some on the damned monitor. What a mess! As you might imagine, I'm bummed. Seriously bummed. I'd always thought of myself as a pretty manly man, but now all the sudden I'm nothin' more than a "mammory lactating rafter".
Well, to make a long story short, felt this odd compulsion to go get my nails done. Weird. So I did. I'm sitting in the chair, recounting the horror story to Madge, my new beautician, and she says (in her inimitable style), "Honey, get yo'self a breast pump and put that stuff in the fridge".
Then I had a flash of brilliance: kayaker chicks who have fresh babies are so damned manly, they can't lactate. Me? I'm a rafter pansy dude. I'm squirting this stuff out like Elsie the Freakin' Cow. So I'm thinking, "there's GOLD
in them thar manboobs!" So I got me a breast pump down at the WalMart Superstore, the fridge is full, and I'm going to supplement my welfare checks with Grade A "mammory lactating rafter" milk. In fact, since there are so many girly man rafters on this exclusive kayaker website, I'm thinking we should form a co-op and go bigtime!
ry Lactating Rafter/Milkman Supremo