Holy Crap! (thats a big rapid)
So I came here a few months ago to ask advice about clothing for river guide training/1st year guide trips and I got a lot of advice, and I'm back for more.
My dilemma is this - I have completed 3 weekends of raft guide training, and I love parts, but I've got a bit of a secret. I'm still kind of freaked out when I'm hitting some of the bigger rapids during training. I've mostly been training on an intermediate class 3 river and some of the bigger rapids freak me out. My raft class started with around 20 people and now were under 10, and I haven't been performing miserably (I think I'm in the middle of the pack performance wise) but I just can't get over the fact that I'm still kind of scared of the rapids. During one of the weekends we traveled to the Cheat (at 12 feet, I think we subtracted 10 to get a measurement of 2 because of the gauge we used) and I swam three times, including Big Nasty and Upper Coliseum.
I didn't have much whitewater experience before the raft guide training started (two commercial trips as a boy scout and a recreation canoe training day with a company I used to work for where we played around in a class II rapid), and I'm wondering, will I ever get used to the rapids? My fears stem from getting thrown out of the boat/flipping and getting recirculated/going for bad swims/worse case scenario drowning.
Should I begin looking for a new job? Am I not cut out for the industry? Should I have maybe attempted to find a job on a class 2 river my first year?
Any and all advice is appreciated.
Thanks in advance.