Old Guy in a PFD
Paddling Since: 1967
Join Date: Feb 2013
True story. You can't make this shit up.
After a fun Gore trip and a few hours at the State Bridge Bar the crew loaded up and headed back to the pump house to pick up a truck, then head for the warehouse in Kremmling. As usual, one of us had to ride in the back of the truck, we'll call him "Lucky".
Anyway, Lucky was a prankster, and thought it might be fun while we headed to the pump house to hop from the truck to the equipment trailer we were pulling. You know, so we'd think we lost him somewhere between State Bridge and the pump house.
We didn't notice we were missing Lucky. As we were sorting out things at the pump house this guy rolls in, and tells us one of our number is laying up on the road and appears to be somewhat less than conscious. Realizing we are missing Lucky we load up, and go to recover him.
Turns out, jumping from a moving truck to a moving trailer, in particular one moving on a dirt road, and after imbibing in several jelly beans (not what you think, but that's another story) is harder than one would think. Lucky had managed to miss the trailer, which did not miss him. Ran over him in fact. Messed up his leg in fact.
So, we load lucky up and drop him at the hospital in Kremmling while we unload and do boatman stuff. The hospital put a cast on Lucky's leg for his trouble.
The problem was, Lucky had been headed to Disneyland with some fellow rats the next day. On motorcycles. The cast was going to complicate things. However, Lucky was innovative and by working through the night, managed to rig a brace to hold his casted leg up, and some levers and what not so he could shift gears and stuff. Duct tape, it turns out works wonders in such situations.
In any case, Lucky and his buds head out early the next morning.
Somewhere in Utah a truck runs Lucky off the road and he hits a tree. Busts his other leg. Trashes his motorcycle. Pisses him off. "Karma, he says, is trying to keep me from seeing Disneyland with my buds but I will NOT be denied".
One way and another they make it to Disneyland. Lucky, being in not one but two leg casts (did I mention hip to ankle casts?), was presented with a wheelchair to get around, which his buds appreciated cause, you know, wheelchairs go to the head of the line at Disneyland.
They get to a ride that unfortunately does not allow leg casts. Lucky, ever the good fellow, agrees to wait while his buds do the ride. He finds himself parked in the shade near the ride, holding the stuff the crew has collected during their visit. Did I mention Lucky was parked on a hill?
The brakes on the wheelchair fail. Or get released. Or something.
Anyway, Lucky finds himself flying down the hill. He manages not to hit any kids, inattentive adults, or mice, but he discovers to his dismay that run away wheelchairs do not roll easily across miniature train tracks. In fact, given speed and mass, the wheel chair will flip on it's side right on the tracks, pinning the rider firmly in the chair. On the tracks.
Lucky, as he struggled to extract himself, hears the clang of a train bell, the chug of the steam engine, the frantic tooting of a train whistle.
Yes, the train is approaching.
An old guy, using not one but two canes, limps to where Lucky continues to struggle. The canes have red tips, indicating he might also be sight impaired. He says to Lucky
"Young feller, ifn I was you, I'd be moving along a bit quicker, less that train that's coming smashes you flat."
The train managed to stop and not squash Lucky, but during the resulting investigation authorities realized that Lucky and his mates might have been imbibing a bit more than was prudent.
They kicked the luckless bunch right out of the park.
So, the moral of the story is, if you don't want to get smashed by a train or tossed out of the mouse house before you even get to do a ride, you shouldn't try to play unreasonable tricks on your friends.