When insults had class

[Dave Frank]

I got this forwarded today and found it a fun read as well as a good model to try to follow when ripping on others.


.> When Insults Had Class (no 4-letter words !!)
>
> These glorious insults are from an era when cleverness with words was
> still valued, before a great portion of the English language got boiled
> down to 4-letter words, not to mention waving middle fingers.
>
> The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my
> husband I'd give you poison," and he said, "If you were my wife, I'd
> drink it."
>
> A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the
> gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said
> Disraeli, "on whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
>
> "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr
>
> "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -
> Winston Churchill
>
> "A modest little person, with much to be modest about." - Winston
> Churchill (to Harry Truman about Clement Atlee)
>
> "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great
> pleasure." Clarence Darrow
>
> "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the
> dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
>
> "Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"
> - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
>
> "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time
> reading it." Moses Hadas
>
> "He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I
> know."
> Abraham Lincoln
>
> "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved
> of it." - Mark Twain
>
> "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar
> Wilde
>
> "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a
> friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston
> Churchill
>
> "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is
> one." - Winston Churchill, in response.
>
> "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." -
> Stephen Bishop
>
> "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright
>
> "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
> - Irvin S. Cobb
>
> "He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others." -
> Samuel Johnson
>
> "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating
>
> "There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." - Jack
> E. Leonard
>
> "He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." - Robert Redford
>
> "They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human
> knowledge." - Thomas Brackett Reed
>
> "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
> Charles, Count Talleyrand
>
> "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker
>
> "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on
> it?" - Mark Twain
>
> "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West
>
> "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." -
> Oscar Wilde
>
> "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support
> rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (18 44-1912)
>
> "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder
>
> "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening But this wasn't it." - Groucho
> Marx

[skibuminwyo]

Good stuff in there. Definitely good stuff.