Dudes, I laughed my ass off when I read this post. You guys are awesome. Hmmm, let's see...top ten things to send GI Josh:
#10. I have enough porn to last a decade. I wasn't a boy scout, but I came prepared. Please send me a woman. Mail order brides from Cambodia, Laos, or any of the old Soviet block nations are acceptable. Please keep them under 150lbs. Teeth optional..I can fix that.
#9. I'm an Irish Spring kind of guy, so stuff from bath and body works would likely be shipped back to CO to my real wife. She'd dig it..and so would US Mail for all the business.
#8. Kayak/Ski&Board/Mtnbike porn would be A#1. I don't have much...only 7 rivers, that sweet home cooked vid about New Mexico and Roam (mtn bike). Back issues of LVM would be the shit.
#7. A mountain of at least 3500m with a 4m base and a meter of fresh pow.
#6. Stickers and shit would be cool, posters, too. I have a lot of bare walls in my room and clinic.
#5. Some single malt scotch cleverly disguised as some hygeine product...they will take it if they supect it's booze...bastards.
#4. A ticket from Baghdad Int into Denver or Condo Springs. Max two connections, please.
#3. RUBBERS..the girls over here are HOTT! Kidding. See #10.
#2. Copious amouints of Ganja. Ok, maybe that would be a bad idea.
AND the #1 thing to send GI Josh is...(drum roll)
A Democratic House and Senate! Bring home the boys, baby!
I hope in the future Americans are thought of as a warlike, vicious people, because I bet a lot of high schools would pick "Americans" as their mascot. -Jack Handy