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Old 09-01-2006   #1
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 76
The Upper Decker

Since Steve started such an interesting topic, I figured I would chime in.

There once was a dude (my brother's buddy in Hermosa Beach) and he would go to his buddy's house at lunch/after work, whenever. He would grow a tail(give the soldier his marching orders) and leave it in the bowl with his business card on top; he called it "putting a roof on it". His buddy finally got fed up with this juvenile behavior and went to the "roofers" house and "upper decked" him!

What! Never heard of the "Upper Deck"? That's when someone takes a grogan in the holding tank of your toilet. The more and more you flush, the more shit fills your bowl. Well, his buddy not much of a handyman called the plumber to say his toilet was backed up. When the plumber showed up he took 5 minutes and came out and said "I'm sorry to tell you sir but you've been upper decked-that's $100 please".

The moral of the story is don't shit in places not deserving of the fecal matter unless you're ready to be shat upon!

P.s. the "lower deck" is in the crisper door of the fridge-you never want one of those!

"any man who would trade freedom for security, deserves neither freedom nor security" Thomas Jefferson
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Old 09-02-2006   #2
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 335
what a cute story

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Old 09-02-2006   #3
El Flaco's Avatar
Golden, Colorado
Paddling Since: 1984
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,879
A variation of the "Upper Decker" is the more nefarious "Dry Dock". It is similar to the aforementioned technique, but entails draining the water from the Upper Deck prior to depositing the spike. This is best done when the Dock Owner leaves for, say, a two week trip in the dead of summer.

The end result is a fetid pall over the victim's house; and possibly a call to the EPA.

There is no moral to, or in, this story.
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Old 09-02-2006   #4
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 49
My respect for the boating community has been seriously harmed.
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Old 09-04-2006   #5
BastrdSonOfElvis's Avatar
Thought-criminal, Colorado
Paddling Since: 2000
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 989
Come on, dude, shit stories are the bomb (pun). What about a Cleveand (or insert your regional city here) steamer or the hot carl or the dirty sanchez? that's good stuff. I related a great shit story a while back about a buddy of mine in college. He shit on a paper towel and put it in an art case where it passed as art (and stunk the joint out) for a week. Say what you want about juvenile the end of the day nothing is funnier than poop.

Just keep it out of the river.

Steve Irwin RIP
I hope in the future Americans are thought of as a warlike, vicious people, because I bet a lot of high schools would pick "Americans" as their mascot. -Jack Handy
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