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Old 06-06-2008   #1
Self-Aggrandizing jackass
heliodorus04's Avatar
The Ranch, Colorado
Paddling Since: 04
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,134
Post-Rapture Post website (humor/apocalyptic preparations)

So I'm cruising AndrewSullivan.com, and he links to a website which focuses on the Christian "Rapture".

Apparently, an Atheist has started a commercial website at which 'ye Christian believers' can leave a message to the friends and loved ones (and sinners) who will be left behind upon this great, mysterious future date. Since the atheist naturally won't be taken in the rapture, the good Christians are sure someone will be manning the website once they're sucked up into heaven.

Here's the link:
The Post-Rapture Post - About Us

Here's some jewels from various points in the website:
From the FAQ page (poetically titled "God hates FAQs"
How Do We Know that You Will Not Ascend To Heaven with Us?
The Bible says that only those that repent of their sins and accept Jesus as the True Son of God will be saved. We do neither. Some of our personal sins include: drunkenness, heresy, sacrilige/blasphemy, gluttony, laciviousness, and sloth. There is no way we are going to disappear into Heaven any time soon.
Aren't You Afraid of God's Wrath?
We don't believe in God, remember? In the event that the Rapture actually occurs, we will go to Plan B: "Lifetime of Sin Followed by Deathbed Repentance."
Then there are the ACTUAL customer testimonials from people who are buying this service (the fact that people are is all the better!)
"I can't believe that communicating with the postrapture world could be this easy! I think all the devoted should use this service."
- Joe Parkins, Massachusetts
"I am not going to comment on the feedback form, my thanks to the creators of this site have alread been written in a memo to them to be opened after the Rapture. Thank you guys for staying behind to get our letters out!"
- Harry DeBora, California
What a gem!

"self-aggrandizing jackass" - it says it right on the label
heliodorus04 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2008   #2
Land of Lovin, Colorado
Paddling Since: 2006
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 1,449
I cannot even fathom how people have still managed to convince the masses that the "Rapture" will happen.

That is awesome, Harry DeBora sounds suspiciously like a porn star name.

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Old 06-06-2008   #3
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Thought-criminal, Colorado
Paddling Since: 2000
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 989
You are both headed to H-E-double hockey sticks.

I hope in the future Americans are thought of as a warlike, vicious people, because I bet a lot of high schools would pick "Americans" as their mascot. -Jack Handy
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