Skip the standard female raft guide jokes- we've all heard them.
This will get you at least as far as us on the ground- laughing:
Or say "I can't wait to get to Phantom Ranch so I can call my mom and tell her about you".
Unfortunately, it won't get our pants off.
While us self-hating female rafters notoriously have low standards when it comes to the opposite sex, we determine our self-worth by the quantity of alcohol we can drink long after you've passed out hugging the groover, so please- go that route...
We can't wait to see you get all fired up, shit-hammered, and drop these lines on us that would make Jessica Simpson laugh while we pillage your boat and rape your women- oh that's right- you left your wife at home: guess we'll have to use those handcuffs on each other....
See you Thursday, Sweetheart.