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Old 08-05-2014   #1
Old Guy in a PFD
Tucson, Arizona
Paddling Since: 1967
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,022
I should have known better

Now, understand; I love my wife. We've been married for 35 years and have raised a wonderful family. We have a great life.

But, being married for this long to the same woman, you'd think I'd know better............

So she made a large pot of soup on Sunday. Truly magical stuff; soul enriching, taste bud nirvana. Really. Great soup from a master soup maker.

Now when I say "large pot" I mean LARGE POT. Enough to feed the two of us for a week. And, her soup only gets better as it ages.

I was happy.

So, after dinner my wife said "We'll have this for lunch tomorrow and dinner tomorrow night"

Before I engaged my higher thinking functions, while wrapped in the bliss of truly marvelous soup intoxication, I said

"It's good you won't be cooking"

Now, what I meant was, I was happy she wouldn't have to slave over the stove to fix us something to eat. Not that I'm adverse to cooking myself, in fact I'm a pretty damn good cook. It just so happened she did the cooking on Sunday.

Shortly after I make my innocent remark, I realize a stony silence has fallen over us. My wife isn't saying anything at all. Even the dog has gone quiet.

I turn, and discover that my wife has her "pissed and seething" look on, and it's aimed at me. My skin starts to smoulder.

"What?" I say, innocently, mentally reviewing the evening to this point.

My wife says "So, it's good I won't be cooking?"

Now in my own defense, I STILL hadn't connected the dots. My hasty review of the evening had not revealed anything that would explain to me the suddenly hostile atmosphere.

Although clearly, I was at fault. I had done something, or failed to do something and I was being called to task.

"Well, yes, it's good that we have enough soup for a couple of days ........"

She cut me off, and icily said, before stomping from the room;
"Fine. I won't be cooking. For longer than you think."

My higher functions finally tentatively identify the issue. I've insulted her cooking.

Not intentionally; I meant no smear on her cooking talents, in fact she's a fine cook and does an especially fine job with soups.

No matter. My thoughtless remark had created a hostile environment. It was on me to correct the problem.

Did I mention I've been married for 35 years?
I did not rush after my wife to apologize. First, I know from past experience, it only pisses her off more.
I certainly did not respond with anger. That REALLY pisses her off.

I let it go for a bit, until I knew she'd had time to reflect on the situation, and realize that there was another possible explanation.

I cautiously approach her in her den. You know, where she has her computer and does her stuff with a sewing machine and what not. Kind of a "woman cave" if you will. The lion's den at the moment, which I know is risky, but I also know that letting the situation fester will not improve the outcome.

"hi" I say. She's at her computer, banging away.

No response. She keeps banging away.

"Uh, you do know that I didn't mean anything, you know, what I said" (I've learned from experience that sometimes getting too specific before the full bill of charges has been read can lead to my pleading guilty to something she hadn't yet considered).

No response. She has however stopped banging on the keyboard. That is a good sign.

After a few moments of silence I decide it's time to retreat, let her chew on what I said for a bit.

"Anyway, dinner was really good tonight. Thank You"

And I scoot. You know, before she fires up the laser beams again.

I retreat to my man cave and prepare for possible attack.

A bit later, she wanders by. The atmosphere has softened considerably, but I can still detect a hint of Ozone in the air.

I take the initiative.
I say.

She comes in and grabs my ear. This is not good.

"I know what you meant by that cooking crack, but it's not what you say, but how you say it"

"I didn't mean it bad, what I said" I said. (I still haven't heard the full indictment, so I'm being cautious)

She releases my ear. "I know, but it still hurt my feelings, what you said"

"I'm sorry I hurt you." I said. After a moment, I realize she's not mad anymore. At least, I don't think so. "So, are we good?" I say

"Yeah, we're good ......... you want a Popsicle?"

"Nah" I say "Soup did it for me."

A moment later I realize, a stony silence has descended again. I feel my skin start to smoulder. The dog, that coward, is now in his kennel.

You'd think I know better..........

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Old 08-06-2014   #2
2tomcat2's Avatar
Westminster, Colorado
Paddling Since: 1980
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 219
31 years, can totally relate. My sides hurt from laughing...thanks!

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans"
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Old 08-06-2014   #3
elkhaven's Avatar
Belgrade, Montana
Paddling Since: 1991
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,659
Damn! I'm starting my 9th year in and was definitely hoping that experience together would mitigate these wonderful know she'd understand that what I said was simply what I said...not some subtle attack...

I mean, my dad says it just really doesn't change, they're women, the think the worst, it's what they do... I was just hoping that was related to 49 years together, you know old age has them regressing. But alas, just like kids don't get easier to understand as they get older, wives apparently don't figure out we're not out to get them after 3 decades of marriage either...

Double damn! I really thought I was on the downhill section of this particularly vexing enigma.

Se la vie!
Yesterday's gone on down the river and you can't get it back. - Agustus McCrae
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Old 08-06-2014   #4
Colo Springs, Colorado
Paddling Since: 1980
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 597
Great story, thanks a lot. All I could think of was, "You can't win" and that sometimes guys can't think enough of all the possible interpretations before we speak.
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Old 08-06-2014   #5
SteamboatBORN's Avatar
Steamboat Springs, Colorado
Paddling Since: 2012
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 538
I have been married for a month and a half, def have not learned that yet.
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Old 08-07-2014   #6
Old Guy in a PFD
Tucson, Arizona
Paddling Since: 1967
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,022
Originally Posted by SteamboatBORN View Post
I have been married for a month and a half, def have not learned that yet.
Well, you definitely need to. I mean, the honeymoon goes on and on, but the glow does dim a bit. Well worth the effort, but be aware that the day she said "I do" you agreed to always be wrong.

One hint; You can always get in the last word. "yes dear"
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Old 08-07-2014   #7
Olympia, Washington
Paddling Since: 1980
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 29
Listen to Shulzie!
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Old 08-08-2014   #8
Steamboat, Colorado
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 582
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! My boyfriend and I have been living together for two years now.... I don't think a day goes by without him telling me I'm "always right." I don't know if that's really the case, I think he's just a man that knows what he wants.
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Old 08-08-2014   #9
glenn's Avatar
BZN, Montana
Paddling Since: 2008
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 1,489
This thread makes me feel gross. God speed.
The sunshine walked beside her
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Old 08-10-2014   #10
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 87
511/2 years and still learning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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