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Old 06-21-2012   #1
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 77
Front Range Tacos: Taco Don!

Well folks, there is TWO personal threats from someone who is considered a PILLAR in the kayaking community. If I was Confluence Kayak Supply I would want his old, threatening little boys, sorry ass selling gear in my shop! That's for sure. Nice Website by the way! Not! Have I made any personal threats? Now you see why this sport is fucked from the very hypocritical foundation on which it rests.
Don, please come to the Western slope and bring an extra large order of "Front Range Tacos" with your famous extra extra weak sauce! Oh yeah, add one bitch slap with extra sting to my order. That's right you heard it here first,"Front Range Taco", it describes your core image so well that you have been automatically selected from thousands of your kind to be the new FRT President.
This position will require you to keep up the good work in acting like a Pro Front Range Taco but you may need to come up with a new and special "weak sauce" recipe to keep up with your competition. The new recipe should include: A generous helping of Jealousy, Some crustys from your depends and mix it in a 2/3 ratio of temporary. So I can't wait to see you and hopefully soon so we can talk about your exciting new position and what you can do to become more of a douche bag.
Congratulations and long live the FRT's!
You will never forget me and that is what you hate.
P.S. I thought Front Rangers had a slight sense of humor but I guess they are just a bunch of mountain clogging, carpet walking, pencil pushing yuppies after all!
P.S.S A huge shout out to all my hardcore badass sponsors( Esp. Dagger and NRS) that bowed down like a bunch of Front Range Tacos and took it in the ass from all you folks that make up the awesome internet sport of shityaking. I want to give personal shout out to everyone of you that has helped to make my life that much more entertaining, thanks!

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Old 06-21-2012   #2
JDHOG72's Avatar
Wolcott, Colorado
Paddling Since: 2006
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 432
Is Escalante runnning?

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Old 06-21-2012   #3
KSC's Avatar
Boulder, Colorado
Paddling Since: 2003
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 2,032
Originally Posted by JDHOG72 View Post
Is Escalante runnning?
Anyone got a visual? Should I just start driving now?
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Old 06-21-2012   #4
aka The Curmudgeon
captishmael's Avatar
Hopelessly Stuck in Yesterday, Colorado
Paddling Since: 1994
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 322
Don't Wanna Die Askin' for Another Chance
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Old 06-21-2012   #5
NorthernAZ's Avatar
Flagstaff, Arizona
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 93
I thought this thread was gonna be about food
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Old 06-21-2012   #6
Preacher of the Profit Paddling Since: 1990
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,062
Civilty: Look it up.

You kind of remind me of these kids:

Your love chats have been forwarded to your "core" Sponsors, but the funny thing is they all said they dropped you years ago and now wish you had nothing to do with them. But, we all got a chuckle anyway.

Hope to see you at Bailey Fest.
I love to dance, but who needs the music- It throws me off.
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Old 06-21-2012   #7
KSC's Avatar
Boulder, Colorado
Paddling Since: 2003
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 2,032
Originally Posted by NorthernAZ View Post
I thought this thread was gonna be about food
No, I'm pretty sure it's about that age old dilemma between driving out west for an Escalante sausage fest for the weekend or staying in town to enjoy a delicious Front Range pink taco.
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Old 06-21-2012   #8
Pugetopolis, Washington
Paddling Since: 96
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 767
I'm talkin shit to you,bro!

Seriously though,where are these Taco's?
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Old 06-21-2012   #9
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 41
your missing the point

way to bring the good old days of the buzz back. correct me if i'm wrong, but i'm pretty sure this thread is getting everyone fired up over nothing. Don't take it all so personal and have a little more fun out there. anyone who can;t see that the kid is just trying to fire up some good controversy and bring up the good point that you all need to stop worrying so much about the flows and the colors of your boats, so you will have more time to get out there and kayak (rafting will always be 303). Give alex a break, it is way easier to be a sponsored kayaker these days. You just need a big truck or van and a giant sticker pack that you purchased from your favorite kayak company. Put the stickers on your vehicle and tell everyone at the silly festivals that you paddle for that company.
There is still plenty of water in the state so give each other shit until the weekend and then go find it.
ps. you can all eat a big fat taco
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Old 06-21-2012   #10
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 749
Is Escalante runnning?
I'll bring the shotguns if you bring the Tequila.

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