What a hoot! Thing is, I think I have met this kid. He tried to purchase clothing from the shop I work at. I remember him because he came in and was upset that I wouldn't take his starter check from an out of state bank. If I remember correctly, he talked about how he "doesn't like to make turns" and vowed to "spray gapers in the face". Keep in mind this guy was in our store buying a full price new Burton outfit (anyone who is really "in" up here knows how to avoid that- pssshhhh). Oh, and he refused to wear anything other than the color black, telling me things that were not black "weren't really his style". Black is soooo out, by the way.
As a Summit County local who not only works at a rental shop but then gets to ski alongside the tourist varieties, I will acknowledge that I'm often less amused than frustrated to share a chair with someone unenlightened about safety bar warning etiquette, but these same folks are the ones who donate memorable quotes such as "does that come with shoes and sticks?" to our catalogue of tour-isms. And unless Bran-don-da-don-don-dong is actually living off of his parents (if you are count your lucky stars, it won't last long) these are the same folks who drop tons of cash and often (i suspect) go into credit card debt just to have their ski vacations which keep this little economy chugging along, including allowing us to make our meager to modest wages and more importantly, live the dream.
As for ski vs snowboard, everyone deserves to enjoy what they prefer and not get any grief for which they choose. I think arguing over who causes more incidents is pointless because I believe really strongly in this thing called "personal responsibility"- if a person collides with you it is their responsibility and generally it is due to the fact that they are inexperienced on whatever equipment they've chosen- not simply that they chose that equipment to begin with.
But back to our boy of the season. Brandon, even if you don't care about someone else's vacation experience, the safety of others, or being creamed when someone's dad goes berserk on you because you nearly/did hit them (see this article
) you can always think of the person who inevitably matters most- yourself. While I'm not the greatest skier (and a humble person at that), I can ski the whole mountain with care and confidence, including some of the jumps in your favorite place- the park, as well as some in my favorite place- the forest! But I biffed it one early December day after my friend and I were mimicking ice dancers on a green road at Copper. It was a really dumb thing to do in the first place, but worse yet I fell wrong and tore my ACL in the process. I missed an entire season of halfway decent Summit County "gnar" because of this one really idiotic move. Thankfully I did have insurance or I'd still be paying for the surgery, but my knee is still not quite right. Not that I ever possessed the cavalier attitude you do (look it up in the dictionary), but I have become an even more cautious skier since that happened. You can have a lot of fun out there for years to come (unless the locals run you out of here first or you just get sick of having your pass yanked) if you treat yourself right. Not that you ever fall, but next time you are cruising at Mach 5, ask yourself how many bones/ligaments would break/sprain/tear if by some freak chance you caught an edge or hit an unexpected patch of ice and actually fell. And if you really want a challenge apart from "how many people can I narrowly miss in one run?", try skiing the whole mountain.
Oh, and if you ever "tap my skis" I will personally see to it that you also have a chance to check out the awesome new Peak 1 Medical Center. And don't be fooled by my leisurely pace- I CAN catch you if I need to.