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Old 06-04-2009   #31
 
Fort Collins, Colorado
Paddling Since: 2004
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Yeah Carvedog, not blaming anyone. Just thought if you're job is to inform people about flows and the river, you should know just a little about it, especially for people who have never been down. To tell someone that there is a trail out, and then there is not is kind of a big deal. There was only two of us, and yes we were on edge, so I was kind of pissed about someone giving me inaccurate information. No need to get all wild about a simple post. I was also trying to let other people know that there is no trail out, just in case something was to happen and they had to maybe hike out, especially for self-support kayakers.
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Old 06-04-2009   #32
 
Fort Collins, Colorado
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Hey Carve Dog I bet you're a bitch come on down to colorado for some creekin or give me a call and we'll come down to Idaho and get on some real shit bet you might bitch out and cry mommy, or have an excuse not to go, big water or big anything is scary at higher flows and especially blind reading and running with no one who has been down, yea it is not fs responsibility its the paddlers getting themselves into the situation still props to berger for putting on first time with no one whos been down to guide em, so eat dog shit carve dog, all you probably carve is your dogs ass. peace the mf out
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Old 06-04-2009   #33
 
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at my house, Montana
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Originally Posted by Riogoodtime View Post
Hey Carve Dog I bet you're a bitch come on down to colorado for some creekin or give me a call and we'll come down to Idaho and get on some real shit bet you might bitch out and cry mommy, or have an excuse not to go, big water or big anything is scary at higher flows and especially blind reading and running with no one who has been down, yea it is not fs responsibility its the paddlers getting themselves into the situation still props to berger for putting on first time with no one whos been down to guide em, so eat dog shit carve dog, all you probably carve is your dogs ass. peace the mf out

I LOVE the Buzz! We get to experience the world's biggest losers, without really having to experience them.

MFS - June 17 - RAD!

I am planning on recalibrating my "cat-brain", from "flipping is OK", to "must not flip". Or at least - never let go of your boat!
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Old 06-04-2009   #34
 
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Bozeman, Montana
Paddling Since: 1999
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BERGER go cry to your mommy. a self support kakaker aint a see kayaker. in stead of rellying on somebody knowledge whom you don't know check the shit out yourself... wahh wahhh.. they told me their was a trail wahh wahhh
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Old 06-04-2009   #35
Dipshit with the most.
 
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Bellevue, Idaho
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Originally Posted by FLOWTORCH View Post
MiddleFork Mtnbuzz shitshow, June 17th, live and in color.

And Carvedog, whats on your avatar? Looks like a kid getting choked out under water. What did he do to deserve that?
That is my daughter practicing dunking her head before her first MF trip ( at age 5) to show me she could hold her breath for a while. Had the Nikonos and thought this came out pretty cool. She loves this shot and loves to see it on my posts when she peaks over my shoulder.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Berger View Post
Yeah Carvedog, not blaming anyone. Just thought if you're job is to inform people about flows and the river, you should know just a little about it, especially for people who have never been down. To tell someone that there is a trail out, and then there is not is kind of a big deal. There was only two of us, and yes we were on edge, so I was kind of pissed about someone giving me inaccurate information. No need to get all wild about a simple post. I was also trying to let other people know that there is no trail out, just in case something was to happen and they had to maybe hike out, especially for self-support kayakers.
Just giving you some shit. And there is a trail out, it just goes over a ridge that is about 2,500 vertical above the river and then it drops you right down to the main. Anyone running flood stage rivers should not be relying on anyone other than themselves to get out of the shit.
I just wasn't as subdued as Mania about giving you the bizness.

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Originally Posted by Riogoodtime View Post
Hey Carve Dog I bet you're a bitch come on down to colorado .........wah, wah, wah, wah, wha.
Well aren't you just the CO gangster boater. Yeah I pretty much just talk shit on the internet and wish I had bigger balls. You're probably so gnar I don't know how you fit into your boat with your incredibly manly package.
Jeez when I grow up I want to be a rad boater just like you.
Maybe then I will really learn how to talk shit on the interwebz.

But, there are quite a few on the board here who I have helped with beta, logistics and boated with - they can verify what a little bitch I am.
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Old 06-04-2009   #36
 
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conifer, Colorado
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Originally Posted by caspermike View Post
BERGER go cry to your mommy. a self support kakaker aint a see kayaker. in stead of rellying on somebody knowledge whom you don't know check the shit out yourself... wahh wahhh.. they told me their was a trail wahh wahhh

So I see you've moved from belittling people in the Eddy to strictly doing it in the Boater's Forum. Any reasoning behind this?
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Old 06-04-2009   #37
 
Boulder, Colorado
Paddling Since: 1986
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Buzzards will have fun with this...

I wasn’t really planning to share my Middle Fork Salmon experience on the buzz, but this thread is getting juicy and I’m in the mood.

Our party launched on 5/19 and took off on 5/22, perfect to hit this year’s peak of 7.3 ft. We were 5 people in 2 playboats, 2 14’ cats, and a 14’ round boat. I would describe us overall as being less experienced, but competent boaters, safety minded and adventurous. We had zero carnage other than the story below and we loved every second of the trip. We were good kids and said our prayers before bed every night, “Please river, could I not swim in you tomorrow! Oh, and by the way do you mind coming up another foot overnight!”

Before I tell my story I also want to say that the Middle Fork the week before Memorial Day was the biggest junk show I have ever seen! We encountered 10 other parties in 4 days and only two of those groups were solid. Of the competent parties one consisted of three well seasoned catboaters from Boise and the other was a dude in a Dagger Green Boat running the whole thing solo in a day. On the river I was under the impression that the brothers Burger were also competent, but recent buzz posts have proven otherwise. We saw two parties on Marsh that we heard later had epiced. Three parties at dagger, two of whom were waiting for the snow on the road to clear so they could escape, the other party had lost a raft on Marsh, but did fine for the rest of the trip. We also saw two scared shitless parties at Loon that were flying out and one party from Bellingham, WA that had the biggest fucktard asshole I have ever met on a river. In my opinion, we should have been one of the least experienced parties, not one of the most experienced. The overall level of competence was minimal for a 100 mile wilderness Class IV run at peak flows and lots of folks got their shit handed to them. Why anyone would go in there if they are going to spend the whole time scared shitless of the river rising another inch is beyond me?

I also got taught a lesson by the Middle Fork:

Beatdown Lesson #37 - Always look upstream before pulling out of an eddy.

The story of my beatdown- Dagger Falls @ 7’:

We arrived at Dagger Falls to find the bank lined by freaked out gapers with whistles and throwbags waving at like crazy fools to eddy out. My first reaction was, ‘Shit, someone died! Hopefully they just have ropes in the river or there is wood in the falls.’ The Dagger scout is pretty hard to miss. Bridge over river. Check. Giant eddy with stairs leading to it. Check. Thundering Class V clearly audible around the corner. Check. Why people were offering to throw me bags as I made the easy pull into the eddy is beyond me. Anyway, I looked at the first competent seeming person and asked what was wrong and if our assistance was needed. “Nothing is wrong we just wanted to make sure you guys knew this is the portage.” Portage?

I had a quick look at the falls to make sure it was wood free and to get my bearings. The two other oarsmen in our group decided they didn’t feel up to it. The three extremely competent Boise catboaters and I agreed to run it Blue Angel style for safety and off we went. Four cats four clean lines. The three Boise cats agreed to set safety for me while I ran our round boat through and our two kayaks joined me in running the falls. Raft and two kayaks, three more clean lines. At this point our group has just one more cat at the top of the falls and the Boise crew graciously agreed to set safety for me while I ran the final cat through the falls.

I jogged back to the top of the falls and took a breather for a second to get my game face on for round three then hopped in my buddy’s cat and pulled out of the eddy. I was in the swirly room above the falls getting boiled and swirled around similarly to my previous two runs when all of a sudden I experienced what can only be described as whiplash. It took a split second to realize that something totally unexpected was going on and I turned around to see the two foot diameter butt end of a 60’ pine tree between my tubes and pushing on my cat frame. At this instant the thing was lined up perfectly behind me and pushing me off line and sideways into a part of Dagger falls I had no interest in investigating. My first instinct was to get ahead of the thing so I started pushing on the oars like a crazy fool, but I quickly realized the insanity of dropping into Dagger Falls with a tree chasing me. My second instinct was, ‘Get me the fuck out of here before I die.’ I pushed harder than I ever have for the fish ladder on river left and abandoned ship in one magnificent leap. I mantled up onto the concrete of the fish ladder and turned around just in time to see the log mash by buddy’s cat into the boulder that forms the lip of the falls. The log then released and chundered on through the falls followed closely by another huge tree trunk and a full tree with attached limbs and greenery.

All three trees disappeared around the corner and I turned my attention back to by buddy’s pinned cat. His boat was pinned, bow upstream, right at the lip of the falls with the only damage being a mangled oarlock and a broken oar shaft. Realizing that I would only be rowing with one oar over the falls backward I hopped back in the cat and bounced it a couple of times so it would release. I promptly flipped in the hole at the bottom of the falls and climbed into the cockpit of the upside down cat. My safety chased and we herded the cat into the eddy at Boundary Cr. We reflipped, replaced the oar and oarlock and proceeded to have the best MFS trip ever.

All told, I feel incredibly fortunate to have escaped the nightmare situation of being pushed around by wood above a big Class V with only a broken oar and oarlock. This could have turned out very badly! I learned this lesson and learned it well, I will always look upstream before pulling out of an eddy!
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Old 06-04-2009   #38
 
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Boulder, Colorado
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Fantastic and well written to boot. They've got some big trees in that river.
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Old 06-04-2009   #39
 
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at my house, Montana
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Unbelievable. Crazy shit, it's always good to get such reminders, especially on the computer instead of first hand! Glad all was OK.
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Old 06-07-2009   #40
 
Golden, Colorado
Paddling Since: 1985
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 24
Pearen,
The only thing better than reading your story, was watching it live, it was a hell of a show of Spidermanesque agility, and one the most entertaining things I have seen on a river (and I spent a number of years video boating on the Gauley). Have to agree with you about the boating quality of a lot of the parties (including ours) on the river those days, but watching people mentally loose their shit in a group v. nature setting like that has an entertainment value all it's own, much better than anything on reality TV.
I've included a few photos from our 'incident' above Dagger. The guy rowing this boat saw the signal to go right to avoid the log and pulled hard to get there while switching off his river reading googles. He went into the hole on the right, above the log, it spat him out to the left all discombobulated and without time to recover. Fortunately no injuries were sustained and Andy's guitar which is in the green bag you can see at the back of the boat came out almost in tune! The only real casualty was a p.o.s. rotting airbag of a raft that should never have been on that river in the first place, and our beer carrying capacity.
The MFS at peak runoff is an awesome trip that will eagerly spank the unworthy and unprepared, and well reward those that are up for it. I'll be back!
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